Emrys: The summer of the Druids
by faithlessducks
Summary: Youneed to read Emrys: Dragonlord to follow along. Merlin meets the druids. BBC owns Merlin, not me. Violence will be a big part of the story. Merlin grows up and arthur gets darker. No Slash! M/G as bff A/G are a couple. It's hard to get everythin
1. Chapter 1

I'm watching the season finale of Dr. Who, forgive me for any typos!

Edwin watched a blazing sun rise in the horizon. His magic sparked in the morning as the sun charged his soul. His mind became one with nature as he listened to greetings from the Earth, giver of life. Intently, he listened to messages from the gods; a sense of serenity invaded his mind.

"When's breakfast? Is Morgause going to make pancakes?"

Edwin's brown head turned in distaste as he viewed his cousin, Merlin. His father wasn't dishonest, it couldn't be a lie. Merlin was Emrys; Merlin was goofy and silly. Worst of all, he was lazy. No, worse of all, Merlin was late. Edwin had to drag him from his small hut every morning. He whined and sniveled about that he was taking a break from magic.

Every morning, Edwin grabbed a boney ankle; Merlin bounced along the hard ground until they reached a wide green meadow surrounded by ancient trees. He would fulfill his destiny; Merlin would be transformed into Emrys, even if it killed Edwin. Impatiently, Edwin quipped, "You eat when you fetch a bird nest from a tree."

Merlin shot Edwin a goofy grin," That's all."

Edwin nodded mischievously, "Yes, climb that tree and return with a hawk's nest. Intact. No broken eggs or loose twigs."

Merlin gulped. "A hawk's nest? They are mean, dangerous animals."

Edwin pointed to a tall oak tree centered in the dark woods. His kind face set like granite. "Pancakes are better served hot." Merlin kicked stones as he trudged to complete his chore.

"Edwin, smile."

Edwin sighed in frustration as he heard his father's voice. He peered over his shoulder to gaze upon Gaius. The sprit world was gentle to his aged father. "He's spoiled and silly, father." Gaius looked away in shame.

"Blame me, my boy; I tried to redeem myself through him."

A gentle breeze touched Gaius to ease his guilty soul as Edwin smiled loving towards his father. "I do not blame your father. My mother, Nimueh, made a horrible choice for us. She saw my future as the Druid king. She destroyed our family. Live your eternity guilt free."

"I will fix Emrys out of love for you. If he was ten, he would be endearing. At 20, he's annoying. Actually, he's a fine playmate for Wesley."

Gaius laughed joyous as he thought of his grandson. "How is my boy?"

"I fear for him. He has his mother's beautiful face."

Gaius nodded in understanding. "Afraid, your daughter might resemble you?"

Laughter floated around the forest.

Gwen's sad brown eyes followed Morgause as she organized the morning meal for her Druid family. Her delicate pale hands fluffed Wesley's blonde hair as he stirred a bowl of pancake batter. Gwen searched her mind for similar memory. Morgause so loving with Wesley, her heart clenched for her dead mother.

"Petite one, why do you search your mind so desperately," Morgause inquired gently.

Gwen placed a pitcher of milk on a wooden table. "Just missing my mother."

A sad smile crossed Morgause's face, "Yes, I lost my mother very young. I longed for her touch."

Guilt flushed Gwen's face. "I'm sorry, Morgause for causing you a painful memory."

Morgause brushed a reassuring hand across Gwen's face. "My mother lives. A happier life. She has suffered greatly. I harbor her, no ill will. Love is forgiveness, little one."

Gwen shook her head sadly. "Even, when you betray your lover. When you break his heart. When you run away like a child." Morgause pulled Gwen near a burning stove. "You are a child, Guinevere. However, I will show you how to be a woman and a queen."

Gwen's unruly curls shook wildly in denial." I will not be a queen, Morgause."

"Nonsense, he loves you. Love is forgiveness. Right now, we must attend to our family. It's time for breakfast."

Sapphire blue eyes met sky blue eyes as Arthur and Nimueh stared at each other in Gwen's small house. Arthur didn't want to bring her to Gwen's home. Neither men nor women were allowed to enter her home. However, he was going mad, his desire to find Guinevere and Merlin, almost drove him to the brink. Love was destroying him, he need to know that they were safe. Merlin couldn't protect a corpse; Gwen was defenseless. They needed to return to Camelot. Camelot was their safe haven. He allowed his father's dreams to almost destroy his life. Merlin and Guinevere needed gentleness to mature, not harshness or cruelty.

"Can you do it, Nimueh?"

"Yes, sire, I need your blood."

Arthur rolled his sleeve to his elbow. His muscular arm clenched as he made a tight fist. Nimueh drew a long slit along his forearm. Blood seeped slowly from his wound; Nimueh gathered it in a small crystal bowl. Quickly, she wrapped a clean cloth around his forearm. Arthur's eyes fluttered in discomfort as Nimueh applied pressure.

Nimueh uttered a few words as her eyes closed. A shimmering blue portal opened. "Arthur, walk in. You don't have long." Arthur stepped into the floating circle. He struggled to retain his balance as he walked through a realm unknown to man. He felt weightless as he spied blue roses, unicorns, and rainbows. He walked slowly until he spotted her sitting on a large boulder next to Camelot's running river.

Relief washed over Arthur as he rushed towards Guinevere, her wide eyes filled with apprehension. Her lips trembled as Arthur approached. Arthur dropped his gloves on the grassy field as he lowered himself to Gwen's eye level. His large callused hands cupped her face.

"Are you safe?"

"Yes, Arthur, where am I?"

"In the spirit world, my love."

"Why?"

"I needed to see you with my eyes. Where you?'

"Are you angry?"

"Surprisingly, no. I wanted to smack you for running away, but that emotion faded away."

"See, you are angry. I heard you say that you were going to burn me at a stake and cut Merlin into pieces."

Remorse crept into Arthur's eyes. "I didn't mean it. I was shocked and I said something cruel. I'm sorry. However, you were devious."

"I'm sorry for being dishonest."

"Come home."

Gwen shook her head as her eyes darted guilty away from Arthur. "Not yet, I need to grow up, Arthur. As does Merlin, we're too immature. I need to stop being a girl; it's my time to be a woman."

"I don't care about Emrys or anything. Come home. Return to me. You're perfect as you are."

"I will," Gwen whispered. "You will come to me when the time is right, Morgause told me."

"Who's Morgause?"

"A friend."

"Does she help you survive outside of Camelot?"

Gwen shook her head in denial. "We lived stayed at an inn for a weeks. Morgause and Edwin found us, they knew of Merlin. Edwin is Gaius' son..."

Arthur's face twisted in skepticism. "How did you pay for it?"

Gwen attempted to pull away from Arthur's grip. He caught her wrist gently to steady her movements. His eyebrows arched in concern. "Where did you get the money?"

Gwen licked her lips nervously. "Guinevere, I know everything. I know about Emrys. No more lies. No deception in our relationship. Tell me, "Arthur implored gently. "Trust me."

A tear dropped from Gwen's chocolate eyes. "Your mother."

Arthur pasted a sweet smile on his handsome face that didn't reach his eyes. "See, I'm not screaming or yelling. The truth is good."

Gwen shook as she felt tension growing inside of Arthur. Her heart fluttered as Arthur's finger traced her soft jaw. "You won't be mad at your mother."

"Of course not, love," Arthur lied. "I must leave soon."

Arthur's strong hands tangled in Gwen's heavy hair as he pulled her small body into his arms. He lips nuzzled her soft neck as her hands stroked his muscular back. Arthur trailed kissed up her neck as he wiped away a stray tear. His lips brushed gently across Gwen's quivering mouth. "Come back to me," He whispered.


	2. Chapter 2

Morgause's earth brown eyes harden as Freya floated in for her morning meal. A tight smiled greeted Freya as she helped herself to a heaping plate of pancakes. She felt Morgause's eyes shooting daggers into her small muscular back. Freya flicked her shiny dark hair in Morgause's direction, Morgause attempted to control her dark feelings for lazy selfish Freya.

"Freya, did you sleep well? I would never expect you to rise and assist with the morning meal." How did Freya and sweet loyal Edwin come from the same woman?

Freya placed a forkful of pancakes into her small cherry mouth," Why wake up, when I have you and the servant girl to cook for me?"

Wesley eyed his mother and aunt; he tugged Gwen from the makeshift kitchen. His small fingers twist around Gwen's. "It's best to leave Mother and Freya alone. The yelling hurts my ears," Wesley whispered softly. Gwen smiled at her young friend, he reminded her of Arthur with his gleaming blonde hair and his deep rooted sense of honor.

"Lead me away, my good knight, "Gwen encouraged. She spent the morning learning to hide in trees and track animals with Wesley. He attempted to impress Gwen with his beginning magic skills. Gwen thought she was losing her mind, she thought Wesley's mouth curved like Arthur's in happiness.

Gwen didn't hear Morgause approaching until she felt her small hand resting on her shoulder. "He's remarkable, isn't he?"

"Yes, quite, the loyal friend."

Morgause smiled in agreement. "He's drawn to you. He sensed your lost spirit. He wants to fix you. Mend your broken heart."

Gwen felt so safe with Morgause, like an older sister with her constant guidance and support. She didn't feel any shyness or awkwardness around the older woman. Her mannerisms and gestures were so familiar to Gwen. Sometimes, Gwen thought she could anticipate her words or finish her sentences.

They sat quietly listening to Wesley's childish laughter as he chased wild ducks. Butterflies floated around Gwen and Morgause. Gwen's eyes widen in surprise as they landed on Morgause's shoulders. "My magic is tied to the Earth it keeps me from the dark side of magic. The evil side of magic, the destructive side of magic, which lures so many magical ones."

Gwen swallowed nervously. "I worry about Merlin. He's so excited to learn everything."

Morgause clasped Gwen's hand," Don't fret. Edwin will teach only good magic. Edwin inherited the goodness in his family lines. Freya leans to the dark side."

Gwen's face twisted in concern. "Freya flirts with Merlin."

"She desires power."

"Power is dangerous and lonely."

"Yes, it is. Freya will learn the difficult way. She doesn't like easy choices."

Gwen spent the rest of her morning cleaning their small hut, washing clothes, and organizing fresh herbs for Morgause. Diligently, she hung their damp clothing on a clothes line tied between two tall trees. The shade felt cool against her hot skin. Her hands flicked fresh smelling sheets.

"Tell me, how a boring little servant girl was able to ensnare a young handsome, powerful king like Arthur Pendragon?" Freya inquired. Gwen hung a sheet as she ignored Freya's question. "Did you tease him? Make him want you and run away? Or did you portray yourself as young and innocent, a damsel in distress?"

"My relationship is no concern of yours."

Freya ran a hand along Gwen's fresh laundry as it hung drying in the hot summer sun. Her dark hair gleamed as a questioning smile painted her pretty face. "Really, you left a king, to run around the countryside with Merlin."

Gwen remembered Morgause's words as Freya examined Merlin's belongings. "Or did you just distract the king to protect Merlin? Do you even love the king? You ran off with another man, but you mope around longing for a king, while you live with peasants. Afraid, you magic has worn off? King Arthur wants a woman of noble birth or a great beauty?"

Gwen finished hanging her laundry. She stormed past Freya and slammed her hut door shut. Tears fell from her eyes as Freya's words haunted her soul. Gwen lived with her bad choices. She remembered her dream of Arthur last night, his whispered words of love against her ear. She had faith in her love for Arthur.


	3. Chapter 3

Merlin watched as the bucket full of water floated across Edwin's small common room and smiled. These past three months working with Edwin to learn how to control his magic had been the hardest, but most rewarding months of his life. He was awful at first, tripping over his words and turning even simple spells into major goofs, but now he had the hang of this magic thing and for the first time in his life he didn't feel like the goofy idiot that everyone in Camelot made fun of. He felt like a real man with real power. Gwen had started treating him differently as well. She had always supported him, but now he saw respect and pride in her eyes. He wanted her to look at him like that forever. His thoughts were interrupted by a voice, low, yet intoxicating.

"Not bad," said the dark haired beauty, "for a beginner."

She smiled at him and he was instantly drawn into her dark eyes. He took a quick scan of her. She had long raven hair, porcelain skin, an exquisitely small frame, and a smile that could light up this world and the next. She was perfect.

The bucket dropped.

"Merlin," Edwin chastised moving away from Gwen and Wesley who were seated right beside him, "you have to concentrate."

"Yeah, Merlin I was doing that when I was six months," Wesley beamed.

"Now Wesley, it isn't nice to make fun of the less gifted," laughed the girl.

"But ,Merlin is Emrys, Aunt Freya," Wesley said. "He is destined to be the greatest wizard of all time. His name will live in legend."

Edwin shushed his son, whose shoulders slumped in embarrassment.

"Emrys?" Freya's eyes lit up. "Such a big destiny for such a small boy."

Merlin blushed.

"Merlin, maybe small, Freya, but like I have always told you, things are rarely what they appear in our world."

Freya nodded.

"Merlin, Gwen this is my sister Freya," Edwin said, pulling Wesley to him.

"We've met," Gwen said, coolly, getting up a taking Wesley's hand. "Wesley, I promised your mother that I'd get you back before the sunset."

"But I'm not ready to go, I want to do more magic with Merlin," Wesley whined.

"Gwen is right. We promised your mother," said Edwin getting up. "We'll see Merlin tomorrow."

Wesley sighed and reluctantly got up. Wesley and Edwin said their goodnights to Merlin and Freya, but Gwen was uncharacteristically quiet as she walked passed them.

"I don't think she likes me," said Freya, as soon as Gwen was gone.

Merlin shrugged. "Gwen's the sweetest person you'll ever meet. She likes everybody."

Freya smiled. "It's probably just my imagination. I have never really understood human attitudes and emotions."

Merlin cocked his head. "You say that like we're not human."

Freya smiled that dazzling smile of hers. "We're not ,Merlin. We are of magic; we have a life and a destiny that humans can't even begin to comprehend."

Merlin shook his head. "I don't know about that."

She walked up to him. "Close your eyes."

"What?"

"I want to see you move that bucket with your eyes closed."

"But, I won't be able to see what I'm doing."

"Merlin, magic isn't about what you can see Merlin, it's about what you can do and _feel_," she moved her small hands over his eyes. "Close your eyes."

Merlin did as he was instructed.

"Now I want you to visualize the bucket rising from the ground as you repeat after me, ' Raise the bucket it'."

He said the words and visualized the bucket coming towards them.

That's it," she whispered, her voice low and inviting. Her musky scent was threatening to overwhelm him. Soon, he couldn't concentrate on anything but the fact that she was standing so close to him.

The bucket dropped again.

"I'm sorry," he said, mortified that he was making such a fool of himself.

She shrugged. "Better luck next time," she laughed and Merlin could not help but join her.

Igraine walked into her chambers and was surprised to find her son sitting in a chair in the dark near her dresser. "Arthur, you scared me!" she screamed, walking towards him as he twirled one of her necklaces through his fingers. "What brings you here to see your mother?"

Arthur looked at her, his face was an unreadable mask. "When I was a little boy I use to marvel at how beautiful you always looked. No matter what was happening around us you always managed to look like and angel," he smiled.

Igraine smiled back at him.

"Now," he said, getting up and twisting the necklace hard around his fingers, "I know just how false that face was."

Igraine's smile fell. "Sweetheart, what's the matter? What's happened?"

Arthur laughed and threw the necklace at her. "I know what you did."

His actions startled her. "What are you talking about, Arthur?"

Arthur began circling her. "I talked to Gwen, Mother, and she told me all about your betrayal. I know how you plotted to take Gwen away from me."

Igraine shook her head. "Arthur you're not making any sense. How could you have talked to Gwen?"

"Nimueh helped us connect in the spirit world and she told me everything, how you gave her coins to leave me." He stopped circling her and leaned close to her face. "Is it true?" he whispered.

Igraine's heart began to pound. "You saw Gwen? Is she okay?"

"Don't change the subject," Arthur demanded. "Is it true?"

Igraine knew there was no use denying it. "She was already planning on leaving."

He closed his eyes briefly as he bit on his lip. When he opened them again, the pain she saw was enough to break her heart, "Gwen and Merlin are servants, Mother, even if they could afford the passage out of Camelot; they would have to show papers to prove they are not runaways. Did you forge those too?"

Igraine looked away. "I slipped the name of a good forger in her apron."

Arthur shook his head. "All those days you came to me and held me as I poured my heart out to you about her, telling you how much I loved, how much I needed her. How could you try and comfort me when it was you who made it possible for her to leave?"

"I wanted to tell you," she said, fighting back tears. "But I didn't think you'd understand."

"Oh, I understand alright. I understand that you are a liar and a hypocrite, something that my father found out the hard way. I guess that is another thing we have in common."

"I feared for her, Arthur," she said, forcing herself to make eye contact with her son. "Gwen is like a daughter to me."

"And what about me, Mother?" he asked angrily moving away from her. "You are so busy worrying about Gwen, Morgana, Leon and anyone else you can think of, but you can't spare not one second to think about your own son."

"You never acted like Gwen was anything more than a conquest to you," she said, desperate to reason with him. "You scoffed at me when I first suggested that you marry her. Gwen is so young and just because you're king does not mean that you have the right to ruin her life."

Arthur whirled around like a lion about to pounce on his prey. "Every second of everyday, I have to be King Arthur. I have to be a symbol, a ruler, a machine. I hold the lives of men, women and children who I will never even know in my hands and I have to bleed and kill so that _they _can live in peace. I am king, your majesty, sire, milord, but never Arthur- expect with her. With her I can just be an ordinary man who loves and is loved. With her, I can forget everything and just feel awash in pleasure and warmth. Guinevere is my sanctuary and you took that away from me."

Igraine could no longer hold back the tears. She knew the burdens of their stations. It was a burden that threatened to destroy her more than once. She reached for him, but he recoiled from her touch. "Arthur. She was afraid of you. She wanted to leave."

"Because she didn't understand how much she meant to me. I made a mistake, mother. I'm merely a man. I saw Morded touching her, and I knew that I would kill for her. I kept trying to tell her that I loved her, but I didn't have a chance with you whispering poison against me in her ear. "

"That's not true Arthur."

"YES, IT IS!" he yelled, his blue eyes hardening. "From the moment, I made my interest known you did everything that you could to keep us part. You kept her in your rooms when you knew I was near, you made sure she stood behind you when you had business in the throne room, so that she was out of my view, you ordered that short and stubby girl Isla to never leave us alone when she could help it."

Igraine's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yes, I knew about that," he continued. "You even tried to push her towards Merlin. I bet that it was even your idea to have him move in with her. Tell the truth, you hoped that she'd fall in love with him."

Igraine looked away. She had hoped for that, but only because she thought it would make it easier for both Arthur and Gwen to move past something that she thought would only hurt them both.

The look of betrayal on Arthur's face was unmistakable. "So, what happened Mother? When you realized that she'd never choose Merlin over me, you decided that you were going to put some gold coins in her hand and push her out of my life. Did you ever think Gwen couldn't understand the depths of her love for me or my love for her."

"Arthur, the relationship was too intense for Gwen. It was too intense for you. I thought ..."

"Did you not recognize passion, Mother? Or love? Do you know nothing of true love between a man and woman?

"I just wanted Gwen to be happy. I wanted her to have a life of freedom. I have known Gwen since she was a little girl. I kneeled at her mother's deathbed and promised her that I would always look out for her. Gwen would never be happy as your mistress Arthur. It would have killed something inside her, so I made a choice to help her build another life away from you, and maybe it was the wrong choice, but it was the only one I could make."

"Gwen isn't you!"

"I realized that I made a wrong choice."

"Maybe it was the wrong one?" Arthur laughed unpleasantly. "Maybe? Gwen wasn't the only one I talked too. I also talked to Merlin and he told me that Gwen was breaking. That she couldn't handle life outside of Camelot. That she was being hunted by Morded whose one desire is to force her into being his whore!"

Igraine gasped as she turned away. Her poor Gwen.

"And it's your fault Mother! Because of you she is alone and afraid and could die." His roughly grabbed her arm. "Maybe that's what this is all about, maybe you want her to die."

Igraine tried to stop the tears that were once again streaming down her face. How could he think that?

Arthur gripped his mother by the shoulders and pushed her towards her dresser. "Would that make you happy mother?" he spat. His touch was rough and his eyes were full of anger and for one horrific moment she wasn't sure what her son was going to do to her.

"Let her go!" Gorlois demanded, seemingly coming out of nowhere.

Arthur, clearly shocked by his impudence, did just that.

Gorlois pulled Igraine to him. "It's okay," Igraine said shaking. "Arthur and I were just working through a misunderstanding."

"And since when does a misunderstanding involve striking one's own mother?" Gorlois snarled.

"I would NEVER hit my mother, NEVER!" Arthur said.

Gorlois inspected Igraine. "That's not what it looked like to me."

"Then, you are as blind as you are stupid."

Gorlois tensed beside her.

"Arthur, please. Leave Gorlois out of this. He is only trying to help."

"Yes, he is trying to help himself to you!"

Gorlois eyes hardened. "Careful boy," Gorlois said, moving towards the young king.

"Or what?" Arthur laughed, his eyes narrowing as his hands moved to the top of his sword.

"Arthur please, stop this," she said getting between them. "Arthur, I am sorry that I misjudge your intentions towards Gwen it is just that…"

"I know, I know, you thought she'd be miserable with me. Not surprising given your distaste for all things Pendragon. But I have to ask you something, did you really send Gwen away because you feared that I would hurt her, or was it that you just couldn't stand to see me happy, especially when it would come at your expense?"

"My expense? What are you talking about ?"

"Let's face it Mother, my monster of a father may not have given you much, but he give you all this," Arthur said, moving his hands sweeping across the room. "As Queen and Queen Mother you have been the highest lady in the land and now you'd have to relinquish that title, to a servant girl no less, you must have been willing to do anything to keep that from happening."

His accusations wounded her deeply. "Arthur, I'm not your enemy, I'm your mother. I love you," she pleaded.

"Then, act like it. Why didn't you tell me when I tried to locate her? I could have found her by now. You knew that I changed the law to marry her. I spoke of my love for Gwen to you. Yet, you said nothing."

Igraine rang her hands. Knowing that she was responsible for her son's pain was almost too much for her to bear. "What can I do?" She'd do anything to make it up to him.

"You can listen to what I have to say very carefully. I'm going to find Guinevere and bring her home to Camelot where she belongs and the gods be with you if you ever try to part us again."

"Your mother only did what she thought was right. She could not stand the thought of another young girl's life being ruined by the lust of a selfish tyrant."

"Selfish tyrant? You were there when my father created the tax laws. You were there when he made whores of the servant women. You did nothing to stop him, except lust after my mother."

"I advise Uther against his actions. Just like I'm trying to advise you."

"No one asked you! I am sick of you interfering in my affairs. "Arthur folded his arms. "I have shown forbearance towards you because of Morgana and my mother, but my patience with you is wearing thin. You are merely a subject like any other and if you keep interfering in the business of Camelot; I promise you that you won't like the consequences."

Arthur stared at Igraine's beautiful tear stained face. His long fingers brushed away her tears. Igraine closed her eyes in sorrow. "Gwen and Merlin are coming home. I don't care if Merlin becomes Emrys. I want them safe in Camelot. Like I told you before, prepare for a wedding, Mother. I'm mad that you gave her the money, Mother. A few months ago, I was horrid to Gwen; she should have left me. I can forgive you giving her the money I'll never forgive you for keeping the secret. Secrets are dangerous; they hurt people. Can you understand the danger of secrets?"

Igraine nodded. "Forgive me?"

"In time, mother, I love you. Believe that you are a part of me; just like Uther. With Gwen, Camelot can have happy times, Babies and joy, not oppression and hate.

"Like father like son," Gorlois said, looking back at Igraine. "Obsessed with a woman."

"Stop it Gorlois, there has been enough ugliness for one night. You know nothing of my son. I will not have you berating him or misjudging Arthur. He's his own man. I finally realized that he's not Uther. He's a better man than Uther or you.""

"Ugliness is all that Pendragons are capable of. Who is he to judge you with all the blood that is on his hands?"

"Yes, Arthur has killed in the name of Camelot. However, those people of Albion live in a peaceful kingdom. They have food every night and clothes for their children to wear. He made their lives better.

" Maybe, we should just make him a god. I should walk right into his throne room and tell King Arthur just how and why he was conceived. Maybe then he'll understand his true legacy."

"MY SON WILL NEVER KNOW THE ORIGINS OF HIS BIRTH, DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?" Igraine yelled. Gorlois looked at her shocked, as she willed herself to stop shaking. How dare he threaten her with that?

"He wants to know all of Camelot's secrets."

"Not that one," Igraine spat. "I have a wedding to plan. Get out!"

"I'm sorry Igraine," Gorlois said, putting a hand on her shoulder. But, curiously, he didn't sound sorry. "Your secret is safe with me," Gorlois moved closer and his mouth was soon against her ear. She could feel his lips curling into a smile. "I'll keep_ all_ your secrets."

Igraine watched Gorlois leave and shivered as a chill ran down her spine that she could not explain.

Leon was tired. He, Morgana and Lancelot had been traveling for three days straight, stopping only when necessary. While his fondness for Gwen was well known, he was surprised by how desperate his companions were to reach her. Morgana always had a disdain for the servant who somehow managed to worm her way into her foster mother and brother's hearts. And Lancelot? He had never been the type to rush to save a damsel in distress, but here he was practically frantic over Gwen. If he didn't know better he'd swear that Lancelot had feelings for Gwen. He walked away from the river towards where he left Lancelot and Morgana and was stunned to see the two locked in a passionate embrace.

"Is this a new fighting technique that I am not aware of?" Leon asked, smirking at how red Lancelot's face turned.

Lancelot moved away. "We were just …"

"Debriefing…sharing what we've learned," Morgana continued.

"Clearly," Leon said tersely.

Morgan shifted uncomfortably. It was an unnatural gesture from someone who was always in control of her every gesture. "I'm going to wash up a little before we continue."

Leon watched Morgana walk towards the river and when he was sure she was out of earshot he turned his attention towards Lancelot. "Arthur will object to this."

Lancelot cocked his head. "Is it really Arthur's objections that I'm hearing?"

Leon shot him a warning glare. "Careful Lancelot."

Lancelot, in typical fashion, pushed forward. "There was a time when Arthur had his mind set on you and Morgana marrying."

Leon grimaced at the memory. Arthur was not the only one who saw him married to Morgana. The dark haired beauty had owned Leon's heart from the moment his seven- year- old self laid eyes on her. He was bewitched by her emerald eyes, her raven hair, and the fire that burned through her set him aflame. When she insisted on becoming a knight he laughed. There had never been a woman knight in the history of the order, but there had never been a woman like Morgana. She proved all her doubters wrong. She was quicker then everyone, tougher and had a viciousness that matched even the princes'. Thus, few were surprised when Arthur made her a member of his roundtable. Leon smiled at the memory. Of course he wanted her. How could he not? Her kisses where like fire; the mere act of her putting her hand in his set his heart aflutter. When he found out that she was using him to cover her romance with The Druid Alvarr it nearly destroyed him. When she found out that Alvarr was using her to get to Arthur and came to him for help he nearly laughed in her face, but the part of him that loved her won over the part of him that had grown to hate her and he convinced Lancelot to help him clean up their mess before Arthur was the wiser. As painful as the ordeal was he knew that nothing else could have shook his love for her. Now Lancelot was falling into her trap.

"That is because he thought I could control her for him," Leon said, shaking off the past. " No man can control Morgana."

"Certainly not you," Lancelot said, putting his hand on his shoulder. "You're a good man, but you brother are a man with a soft touch and even softer heart when it comes to the people you care about."

"And you are a man who likes to share his love with as many women as possible. Morgana will not tolerate that."

"She won't have too."

Leon raised his eyebrow skeptically. "Please Lancelot, this is me, Leon."

Lancelot nodded. "All my life I have shunned away from committing myself to a woman."

"Yes, you have always believed that it is too dangerous for any member of Arthur's Roundtable to have families and I understand your thinking, we have left too many widows and orphans."

"Yes, our life is dangerous, but that is only one of the reasons I have shied away from attachments. My father was a hard man who made my mother's life a living hell when all she wanted to do was love him. He married her for her lands and her title and then expected her to go in a corner somewhere and stay quiet. He ignored her, belittled her, flaunted his love for another woman in his face, her even tried to make her raise his bastard child as her own before the queen intervened."

" Such venom for an innocent child, that didn't ask to be born. I had heard rumors that your father had a commoner as a mistress. Was she a lady in your household?"

Lancelot shook his head. "It doesn't matter who she was, but my father made her life miserable too."

Leon shot Lancelot a hard look. "You can't acknowledge to me, that Gwen is your sister. A sister that you encouraged Arthur to woo. I saw your father leaving Gwen's house as a child. I searched her with Merlin until we found her crying in a bush."

"Yes, I have some of my father's traits."

'You're not him."

" He destroyed everything he touched and I was terrified that I'd be just like him, so I refused to get close to anyone to find out. But I am tired of that life Leon, tired of being alone. I'm ready for a new life."

"With Morgana?"

"Maybe?"

Leon rolled his eyes.

"Come on Leon, is it so hard for you to believe that Morgana and I really care for each other?"

"Morgana is the King's ward. It is Arthur's decision who is allowed to court and marry her. This little dalliance of yours can be considered treason and don't think that Arthur won't view it as such."

"Arthur is a changed man because of Gwen."

"Don't kid yourself Lancelot, Arthur is distracted with Gwen's disappearance, but once Arthur has Gwen living in Camelot under his watchful eye, he'll be back to his old self. Arthur has changed, but it's in his blood to seek adventures and battles. Will love destroyed the inner warrior in Arthur? Emrys might encourage him to seek to unite Albion.

"Merlin"

"Yes, Merlin. Stupid Merlin, has evaded us for three months. He might be different. What happens when Arthur and Merlin unite? You know the prophesy.

"I do not know."

"Yes you do." His voice grew serious. "Where do you imagine that Morgana wishes to be when Arthur is High King, in your home near the hearth? Or by his side seizing as much power as she can for herself?"

"Morgana is a changed woman."

Leon could not believe how naive Lancelot was being. "Take it from someone who had to learn it the hard way. Women like Morgana never change. "


	4. Chapter 4

Hi! Angie 8 is now a coauthor for Emrys. 1. I'm irresponsible. 2. I have the attention span of a Gnat. 3. She keeps me on track. She has great ideas.

Merlin had never been happier in life. Freya wasn't the first woman who he had spent time with. Despite what some may think he was experienced in _that_ area. But she was the first one who made him feel like this. He thought about her all the time, when she was gone he'd replay their last meeting in head, when they were together he found himself memorizing her every movement and savoring every word that came out of her lovely mouth. She was slowly becoming everything to him and for the first time he understood why Arthur could not just walk away from Arthur. If being with Gwen made Arthur feel even a little bit of what he felt when he was with Freya, then he didn't blame Arthur for fighting so hard to win her, even if his pursuit did borderline on the obsessive. Merlin sighed. _What would he do to win the love of a good woman? _Freya was rattling on about the different stars and how they got their names. Her skin was glistening in the moonlight and her eyes were as bright as the stars above. She took his breath away.

"I wish we could stay out here forever," said Freya.

"Me too, but I promised Gwen that I'd be home soon. She's not use to being along."

Freya let out a small laugh. "Really Merlin, Gwen is a big girl. She was Prince Arthur's lover for god sakes, she can't be afraid of the dark, not a girl like that."

Merlin froze. He didn't like talking about Gwen and Arthur, but to hear someone talking so casually about it. "I don't know what you heard about Gwen, but she isn't _like_ anything. She would be Queen of Camelot, but she gave up everything for me. She loves Arthur, and it took me a long to accept that Arthur loves Gwen."

Freya's mouth dropped. "I'm sorry Merlin. I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't," he lied, willing himself to calm down. "It's just Gwen is my best friend, my family, and the greatest girl in the world. I just want you to know that." Freya noticed a strange light flaring in Merlin's eye.

Freya smiled. "She must be special if you feel so strongly about her." What is so special about that girl? My father is a god, yet, I have not know adoration from anyone. Edwin accepted me as his sister with a required love. Morgause longs to cast me aside. How did a servant girl inspire just devotion from Arthur and Merlin? Not that I care Freya thought.

Merlin relaxed. He smiled, opened his mouth, ready to tell Freya how special she was when he heard a rustling noise behind them.

"Did you hear that?" Merlin asked, sitting up and looking back to where he heard the noise.

"Hear what?" Freya asked dreamily.

Merlin stilled for a moment. "I guess it was nothing." He laid back down and smiled as he felt Freya's hand in his. They laid there in silence and he was suddenly overcome with a need to hear her lovely voice. "What are you thinking?"

"I was thinking how much I like you," said Freya, squeezing his hand.

Merlin squeezed back. "I think I like you too."

Wispy strands of deep brown hair stuck to Merlin's forehead. A new hardness filled his blue eyes as he watched Freya and his old self star grazing. Her gentle laughter coated Merlin's skin. Merlin shook his head in disgust as he watched himself being lured into her web. Merlin felt a chill run down his spine as Freya mischievously batted her eyes in the moonlight.

Had it really only been two weeks ago?

Gods, how could he be so foolish? He fell for her soft words, and delicate beauty. He was unable to see the evil lurking below, or her desperation to keep her duties, her ability to trap men with a simple smile, and this weakness nearly cost Gwen her life. When he saw Gwen sobbing, her face bruised and her hair cut off, he realized that he had to do something. He used his newly learned skills to make contact with Arthur in the spirit world and when he returned he vowed to guard her with his life. When he made the wish that he could go back in time and stop these terrible things from happening, it didn't expect to actually go back in time. It took him a little while to realize what happened, and even longer to gage when and where he was. Looking at the look of adoration in his other self's eyes, he knew that he couldn't and wouldn't alter his past with Freya. His blue eyes roamed over Freya one last time as he sought Gwen.

As he walked through the Druid Camp, Merlin faked his usual happy nature. He waved to his friends, and laughed at young children chasing fireflies. Part of him longed for the simple days with Edwin and Morgause, days now lost to him forever. He looked up and saw Gwen's beautiful face and his heart clenched when her soft humming invade his ears. Chloe floated around Gwen's laughing figure as she sat delicately on a rotting tree trunk. She's so small and delicate; he should have left her with Arthur. He could have been honest about being Emrys. Our grand adventure to see outside of Camelot's gates, how I long to for the days of playing tag in the courtyard.

A gentle light filled Gwen's eyes as Merlin slowly approached her. He wondered if she would be able to tell that he wasn't "her Merlin." Chloe stood like a guard on her delicate shoulder. White and yellow flowers decorated her chocolate tresses. Gwen's brown eyes met mine, cautiously she tilted her head. "Merlin, is something wrong?" She knew. Gwen always knows when something is wrong. She was the only person in the world that can feel my despair.

"No," Merlin lied gently. "Your hair is so beautiful like ribbons flying around a rainbow."

Gwen's laughed a gentle melody. "Chloe twisted flowers in my hair. Are you hungry?"

"No."

Gwen arched a dark eyebrow. "Are you sure that you're okay, Merlin?"

"Yes, I'm just tired. I'm going to bed. Stay close to camp. Don't leave Morgause."

"Alright."

"Promise me?"

"I promise." A soft smile formed on Gwen's mouth. "Sleep well."

Merlin nodded as he moved towards their hut.

A gentle wind crossed Gorlois face as he walked toward the cave and he smiled. It seemed to him that it was a blessing for what was about to come. He walked into the cave, mumbling the sacred blessings as he walked toward the pool of water that sat in the tall, stone altar. He scooped up the water in his hands, three times and said the final words. The image that greeted him made him smile.

"Brother," said the dark image staring back at him. "It has been too long since we spoke."

"I know Brother, but I could not get away any sooner without arousing suspicion."

"I understand, but these silences concern me."

Gorlois nodded and bit his tongue. The meaning behind his Brother's words was clear to him and he did not his dedication to the mission being questioned. "As they do me," he finally said, but trust me it was necessary."

"Have you made any headway with The Queen?"

"Yes, Igraine is as swayed by me as she ever was."

"And your relationship with The Pendragon?"

"Arthur is not as swayed by me. He doesn't trust you."

"Of course not, you're his mother's old lover. I thought you were going to use Morgana to manipulate him into trusting you."

"I was, but we have seemed to have misjudged their relationship.

"We?"asked his Brother distastefully.

"_I_ assumed that the years that they had spent together would foster a love, but they view each other only as siblings. He is obsessed with a servant girl."

"A servant girl?"

"Yes, he plans on marrying her."

His Brother laughed. "Uther Pendragon must be screaming in Hades. This changes things."

"This changes nothing. If anything, it makes my job easier. Igraine has accepted the relationship, but it bothers her, she sees too much of herself in Gwen and she feels that Arthur is too much like Uther to make her happy. It's a sore subject that I can exploit to our advantage."

"How?"

"Old ghosts never die Brother. Uther Pendragon may be of use to us yet."

He could feel his Brother's skepticism. "I am not for playing these mind games Brother, it is too volatile, and you never know what will come from it."

Gorlois smirked. "The Plan will work, Brother. I just need more time."

His dark Brother seemed to grow even darker. "It better. Everything depends on it. Don't fail me Brother."

Gorlois bowed as his Brother's image disappeared. He didn't need his Brother's smug reminder. Nobody wanted to bring down The Pendragon more. Failure was not an option for him. Balinor tricked people with his sensitive brown eyes; he lured them into depravity, by helping them in times of despair. Later, he would twist their souls around a wrinkle crooked finger. Maybe, I'll start with Igraine and Morgana, two lost souls waiting for assistance, who better than loyal faithful Gorlois.

Igraine tossed and turned in her bed, clutching her silk sheets in her hands. She was watching it all happen again, whimpering, and begging for it to stop.

_This can't be happening, it can't be, but it was._

"_I'm doing this for you as much as I'm doing this for me," came the voice, low, menacing, monstrous. _

She let out a loud scream as she jumped up. She was in her bed. She was safe.

Isla came rushing in. "Are you alright Your Majesty?" she asked, putting hand on her shoulder.

"Yes," said Igraine, trying to catch her breath. "I'm fine, just a bad dream. You can go."

Isla gave her a skeptical look before guiding her back down and tucking her in.

Igraine pulled the covers to her chin. She was safe. Her son was safe. Everything was going to be alright. He would never about the true nature of her relationship with Uther.

Merlin crouched in a bush as he watched Freya leaning against a tree. He had just managed to miss his other self as he made his way back to the hut he shared with Gwen. Thankfully, Gwen was already asleep so she couldn't ask his other self why he was asking about a dinner that he already ate. Freya walked away from the hut and pulled her hood over her head. He stalked her cloaked figure and stopped when she came to an opening in the forest. She pulled her cloak off her face and he could see her pale skin gleaming like a pearl in the moonlight. An annoyed smile marred her beautiful face. Now, Merlin realized that her pouty lips indicated a spoil nature, selfish and uncaring. Chaos, Freya was born from chaos. Her purpose in life was to create chaos and unrest. Merlin was not surprised to see Morded emerged from the dark woods, like a dark god from hell.

"Where is she?" he asked, his form radiating frustration.

Freya paced around Morded's tall muscular frame. She ran a hand across his strong back. What's so special about Gwen? Is it her hair? Or sweet nature? Or because she told you no? That's it," she said, running her tongue past her lips. "You want to corrupt her innocence, Lord Morded?" Freya smiled as she reflected on Morded's desire to possess Gwen. "Well, I hate to break it to you but Arthur Pendragon got there first."Oh," she said, noticing how his back went rigid. "That's it. You want her because Arthur Pendragon loves her."

"I don't want her. I want to break her. I want to make her whimper under me and beg for my touch. He can't have everything." Freya brushed a finger over Morded's strong jaw. He batted her away like annoying gnat.

"Patience, milord."

"Patience? I've waited for months! Your mother sai..."

"Nimueh is old and foolish. She believes that she must help destiny occur."

Morded eyes narrowed. He had clearly grown weary with Freya, and her antics. A strong hand clamped her wrist as Morded pulled Freya against his hard body. Merlin fought an urge to assist her.

"I grow tired of your games. I want Guinevere, bring her to me, or you will suffer."

Freya looked as her wrist and tried to wriggle away. "You don't have to be rough," Freya relied slyly. "You will have her. I'll bring you a token tomorrow."

"You better," he said, his voice full of venom.

Freya broke free from his grasp, and she ran towards the camp. "Tomorrow night."

"And what about her protector, that buffoon Merlin?"

"Oh, don't worry about Merlin. I have that boy wrapped around my finger."

Merlin his anger rising. Now, He knew Freya would suffer at his hands; she would pay for her hateful behavior towards Gwen. Most of all, she would pay for making Merlin fall in love with her. Merlin waved his hands and opened a portal to Camelot. It was sometime in the future and he stood outside Gwen's door, listening to Arthur whispering words of love as Gwen laid trembling in Arthur's strong arms. Her small brown fingers clutched Arthur's shoulders as she tried to erase the memories of Freya and Morded. Merlin blinked away tears as he resolved himself to Freya's fate and to doing anything to change Gwen's.


	5. Chapter 5

The warmth of the sun kissed Gwen's face as she rested her chocolate curls on Arthur's hard thighs. She wasn't sure how long they had been lying on this hill, but wished they could lie here, intertwined with each other forever. She sighed contently. She was tired, but she was afraid to close her eyes in case she was dreaming again and Arthur wasn't really there. A calloused thumb traced her cheekbones and she looked up to see Arthur's sapphire eyes memorizing her features lovingly as a sensual smile formed on his lips. Gwen placed her palm tenderly against his scratchy jaw.

"I don't like the beard."

"It makes me look mature, rugged, and not pretty."

She rolled on top of him. "I like pretty. This makes you look like a cranky old bear."

"I am a cranky old bear. That's why you love me."

She opened her mouth to protest that statement when Arthur pressed a tender kiss on her quivering soft lips; his fingers twisted in her soft dark curls as Arthur slipped his tongue in Gwen's warm mouth. Gwen's eyes opened in surprised as Arthur grinded his mouth against hers. Gwen shoved Arthur away as pain shot thorough her jaw.

"Arthur, too rough," she said, confused by his actions. Arthur had always been aggressive, but he had never hurt her.

"But it's been so long," he said, forcing her back to his lips. He was biting and sucking now, and she couldn't help but whimper in pain.

"Stop whining, Gwen," a dark voice muttered.

He moved to her neck and pressed her so hard against him that she couldn't breathe. "Arthur, please."

He let her go and coarsely grabbed her chin. A shudder racked Gwen's spine as Arthur's sparkly blues eyes faded to pitch black; silky fine blonde hair turned heavy and dark, and his gentle fingers tugged her flowing locks roughly.

"You're mine, Guinevere," said Morded pushing her down and ripping open the top of her dress.

Gwen gasped for breath as she bolted upright in her small bed. Trembling fingers brushed sweat away from her brow. Her hair stuck to damp neck as her chest heaved.

"Another bad dream?" asked Merlin, moving to her side and pulling her to him as he sat next her to on the bed.

Gwen nodded meekly in his shoulder blade. Tears flowed from her eyes as she wished for Arthur.

Merlin pulled Gwen closer. "Don't worry. My training is almost done. We can go home soon."

Igraine clasped her delicate white hands as her eyes watched stars floating in an endless dark night. The heavy scent of roses floated in the air as crickets sang a baleful melody to lull Camelot to sleep. A strong pair of hands draped a shawl around her shoulders. Igraine smiled as she spied Arthur's gleaming blonde hair as he slide next to her own a bench.

"Mother, thank the Gods," he said, grabbing her hand.

"Arthur, what's wrong?"

"I went by your rooms and some of your things were missing and nobody knew where you were."

Igraine smiled and squeezed his hand. "I am moving my things out of my rooms to make room for our new Queen. I want Gwen to be able to feel at home as soon as she returns."

Arthur's eyes widened in shock. "Mother you don't have to do that."

"Yes I do. Gwen is going to be your wife and your Queen. It's where she belongs. I will be just as comfortable in the East wing of the castle."

Arthur shook his head. "No. I do not want you that far away. You will stay in the North Wing."

"But Arthur…" she began to protest, the last thing that the newlyweds needed was his mother underfoot.

"That wasn't a request Mother. I want you close to me and to Gwen ."

"So that you can keep an eye on me?" she asked, her irritation creeping in her voice.

"Yes," her son hissed. "I do not want you on your own in the castle, not with _him_ around."

She looked away, an old memory creeping up on her like an old enemy.

"_I've been waiting for you. Where were you?"he asked_

"_I was taking a walk in the gardens."_

_His mouth twisted into a half smile. "Funny, I looked for you in the gardens and did not see you."_

_She huffed in misery. "I have the right to keep my own company when I feel like it." She turned to take of her cloak and grasped as strong hands pushed her against the wall. "You are my wife," he hissed in her ear. "The only rights you have are those I give you. Maybe if you spent more time in this room and in this bed and less time in your own company you would have done your DUTY by now." He grabbed her chin as she tried to look away from him. "You are trying my patience Igraine." He captured her lips with his in a brutal kiss and she closed her eyes willing him to stop…_

"Mother? Are you alright? Besides, Gwen will need your help, when we have a baby."

She blinked, breathing a sigh of relief as her husband turned into her son.

"Yes," she said, smiling. "I'm fine. Baby?" Arthur arched a questioning blonde brow when Igraine face drained of color. She licked her lips nervously.

"Arthur, she's young. You should wait awhile."

Arthur eyed with his mother with skeptical blue eyes. "She's not home yet. I know you had a difficult birthing. I'm sorry that I was too big."

"It was worth the pain." Igraine smiled lovingly.

Arthur smiled too as he began to use his toe to draw pictures in a pile of dirt.

"You used to do that when you were in trouble. Wanting forgiveness, but afraid of rejection or a stiff slap from your father?"

"I'm prat and I'm sorry for it all." Arthur looked at his Mother, his eyes full of sadness. "When I went in your room and saw that you were packing and I couldn't find you, I thought I had driven you away too."

"Oh, Arthur," she said, trying to sooth him as his head hung in shame.

"I'm so worried about them."

Igraine kissed the top of Arthur's hand encouragingly. "She'll be alright. You'll see. Any day now Morgana, Lancelot and Leon are going to bring her home."

Arthur looked at her. "I'm not just her, mother. Merlin is out there, too. As strange as it may seem ever sense I found out he was Emrys; I have felt a responsibility towards him. It was my destiny to teach and protect them, instead I kept them scared and isolated. It's my fault that they can't survive."

"No, my darling," Igraine said soothingly.

"Yes," he said, jumping up. "I guarded Gwen like a hawk; chased away anyone who tried to come near her; she had no real friends; no real life experience because of me. I kept her a child because I only wanted her to be a woman for me and so Gwen and Merlin stayed children, playing games and thinking that the world was their playground."

"Arthur."

Arthur wiped his face in frustration."I just didn't know how else to ensure that she was mine and mine alone. I was selfish, but I needed her. Still, I need her so much. Mother, I can still see that day; I first noticed her in my mind. It was a hot summer day. She had on a yellow dress with short sleeves trimmed with white ribbons. She wore a crown of purple flowers. I grabbed Merlin by his arm; she rushed over fire blazing in her eyes. She yelled at me; questioned my character. She made me smile."

Igraine smiled. She knew Uther would die before ever letting his precious heir marry a servant girl, but Igraine thought that he son could not have made a better choice. "She's a wonderful girl."

"I wanted anything to see her smile at me," he continued. "I wanted to be a better man for her; I didn't know it at the time."

Igraine swallowed a laugh as Arthur twisted his face in a sever scowl. "Then, she started smiling and teasing me. I lived for those moments. I fell in love."

"She'll come home."

"Would you have? If you had left Camelot would you ever have come back?"

"Arthur I…"

"Just tell me," he begged.

Igraine offered Arthur her hand and he took it. "Your father had many flaws, but he loved you very much."

"I've conquered lands and killed people Mother and I've never doubted that I was in the right. I've never been one to regret my actions, good or bad until now. My outburst drove Merlin and Gwen away. I don't want to be him, I don't want the people that I care about to dread me."

Igraine's heart broke as her son began to cry. She rocked her son softly as he cried over the phantom father that shaped his early years; a father determined to rule Albion, at any cost; a man who ripped Arthur from Igraine's safe arms as a five year old boy. She should have been stronger. Should have done something when Uther pushed Arthur to train harder and adopt his thinking until Arthur felt nothing except the need to please him. She began to gently hum and Arthur quieted in her arms. Those days were over. Uther had failed. From now on he was going to be his own man, a better man then Uther could have ever dreamed of. Uther had failed. His great plans for Arthur would never come to fruition and she could not be happier.

Igraine and Arthur were lost in some many different emotions; they didn't spy a dark figure listening to their conversations. Gorlois smirked as he realized Arthur was haunted by his upbringing at Uther's hands. Poor little king boy. What will you say when all is revealed? Will you break Arthur Pendragon, or go crying to mother for comfort? Or will you embrace the darkness hiding in the depths of your soul? Uther made promises that you must keep, Arthur Pendragon, even if, it destroys you.

The afternoon sun danced behind Freya as she strolled lazily through Edwin's camp. She snorted at the thought of her "sainted" brother. Edwin, the good one, the child of light; everyone loved Edwin. He was gentle and kind born from the right father. Freya frowned as she thought of her life. Morgause hated her and never let her be with Wesley alone. She was practically a stranger to her own nephew and she was the only one capable of teaching him to harness all his power. Who did she think she was? Always coming between her and her family; always lecturing her on being lazy and not wanting to help the humans. Why help people? They were all beneath her and those who were worthy of her notice always turned her away. No soft kisses for Freya. Nimueh never cradled her at night like Morgause does Wesley. Nimueh never collect flowers on warm spring days or searched for identical snowflakes. No, I was given talks about destiny, and helping it stay on course. Nimueh would whisper, you must create strife to make people strong. You're essential to the world, Freya, your life will never be your own.

_That's what she thinks. _

She cared that causing chaos for others meant she'd never have anything or anyone of her own until she met Morded. They met on the battlefield, her soft whispers urging Odin to declare war on his latest rival. She was reveling in the death and carnage when he appeared, sword in hand. If she didn't know better, she would have sworn he was a dark god or a powerful dark warlock. But he was just a human male - with incredible potential to make the chaos she created even worse. He questioned who she was and why she was there. She didn't like questions. He tried to kill her and she felt a thrill up her entire body as they fought on the battlefield to the point of exhaustion. Later he took her by a tree, the blood of the fallen still around them.

"_Who are," he asked, filling her with a pleasure she had never known._

"_I am chaos, I am death."_

"_And I am yours."_

And he was for a while, until he met a new challenge - a servant girl who had twisted his insides with lust and longing. Still, he had been the only true friend she had ever known and the only person to ever except her for who she really was. He could have his serving whore, especially sense it would cause nothing but pain and strife for all involved.

Freya's feet continued leading her to Merlin's hut. Eagerly, she hoped to see the young wizard. His innocent blue eyes were hypnotic; he didn't know what she was. His eyes didn't judge her or treat her scornfully. For a brief moment, she felt regret for what she was here to do. Merlin loved Gwen like a sister and would not understand why she was helping Morded, would not understand that she needed to hurt people like she needed to breath. Freya noticed the door was slightly ajar, a small nudged gave her entrance to Merlin and Guinevere's summer home. She heard soft breathing coming from a corner room. Like a mouse, Freya wandered through the small house. Everything was so neatly organized; a faint scent of flowers filled the small house. How touching? Such a sweet little house, created in love. Goodness makes my stomach ache. Freya instinctively made her way towards Merlin room when a faint murmur of "Arthur" caught her attention. Slowly, she walked towards Gwen's bedroom. She opened the door and saw the young girl smiling, her body writhing in a way she knew all too well. _Look at her_, _having a romantic dream about the handsome king. When Nimueh told me about you and The Pendragon; I thought he would steal your innocence, and move on to his next victim. _

Gwen continued twisting herself around on her small bed; a pillow clutched tightly in her arms. Her long dark curly hair hung over the bed like a waterfall. Freya smirked. _Now was as good a time as ever._ Happily, she skipped to the small kitchen and grabbed a gleaming knife. Stealthy, she returned to Gwen's room.

"Why do you have two men dying to posses you, while nobody loves me?" Freya dropped to her knees, besides, Gwen's small bed. "It's the hair that makes you special." Gently, she grabbed a handful. Her other hand rapidly sawed Gwen's delicate strands. A smiled curled Freya's face as she realized that she had a small perfect gift for Lord Morded. "We'll see how many men want you when Lord Morded is done with you."

Edwin stalked into Merlin and Gwen's home ready to lecture Merlin about the proper use of Portal. How could he use his powers to spend a day playing hide and seek with Puck? He was beginning to wonder if his father was mistaken. Maybe, Merlin wasn't the Emery's of legend. Who was he kidding, Merlin was Emrys and it was up to him to somehow turn the boy into a great wizard. Well, was a magician. He looked down on the kitchen floor and spied a long strand of brown curly hair lying on the floor. He picked it up. It looked like Gwen's. Did Morgause cut Gwen's hair? She didn't mention it earlier today. Edwin's eyes scanned the perimeter of the house, maybe, it fell out. He needed to replace the protection spell on Gwen. It would wear off shortly. A cold shiver enrobed Edwin as he moved around the tiny house. His sensitive eyes could see fleeting images of evil lurking on the words.

"Be gone, fifthly spirits," Edwin commanded harshly. A icy pain gripped his heart as the images smiled mischievously as they crept out of a window. Edwin clamped his eyes shut when he heard Gwen's whispering. Slowly, he walked towards the young girl's room. Out of the corner of his eye, Edwin spied another curly lock. His large hand pushed her door opened. A large tear drop to the floor when Edwin saw Gwen's shorn hair. Edwin closed his eyes as he summoned Chloe and Morgause.

Outside Freya watched her confused brother and laughed as she made off with her a handful of Gwen's hair.

Morgause dropped a pail of water as Edwin's voice exploded in her mind. Her beautiful face twisted in horror as she viewed Gwen's sleeping form. Her teeth gritted in anger. Wesley moved away from his mother's enraged body.

"Mother?"

Morgause turned on her heel. "Stay in your room. Lock the door."

Wesley nodded fearfully.

Chloe laid slumbering in a soft daffodil; her belly swollen from eating nectar. A sharp pain filled her heart as Edwin's voice forced her awake. Tears flowed from her eyes as she viewed the turmoil at Edwin's camp. Quickly, Chloe roused her body and fluttered to her mother's throne.

"Mother.."

"I saw, Chloe."

"I'm sorry. I fail.."

"No, we have other dark forces working together."

"Who?"

"It doesn't matter, but mortals will not interfere with my grandchild and her children. Go to Gwen. Your nephew needs more knights. I'll send him a legion of pure hearted knights. Go."

Nimueh's heart ached as she thought of the pain that Gwen will endure from her encounter with Lord Morded. However, hair grows back, and bruises fade. Destiny must happen. It's my job to maintain the balance between good and evil.


	6. Chapter 6

Warning: The next few chapters are dark, very dark. Please read with caution. This chapter has physical contact.

Igraine's smiled as a small boy pressed a colorful bouquet of flowers into her pale hands. His tender lips pressed damp kisses along her arm. A laughing smiled curved her beautiful face as she walked through Camelot's lower town. A warm sun glinted across her blonde hair, the young boy marveled at the Queen's beautiful and kind heart. Igraine ruffled his dark hair as she smiled and received another hug from a small villager.

A young couple bowed in front of Igraine, she noticed they clutched babies in their arms. The mother was a young pretty girl with dark hair and gray eyes. Shyly, she dipped her head towards the Queen in respect. Her husband, a lanky redhead with brown eyes smiled encouragingly at Igraine.

"My queen, please name our babies."

Igraine smiled gently, "I could not."

His brown eyes filled with joy, "You're the sweetest lady in the land. Please, honor us by naming our twins."

"Of course."

The father placed a warm bundle in Igraine's waiting arms. "This is our son." Igraine cradled the warm bundle for a few moments, his innocence seeping into her battered soul. "I name thee Robert, a noble name for a beautiful baby." She smiled wistfully as she imagined holding her grandson in her arms. "I hope Arthur has an heir soon."

The father lowered his eyes," Any word on Merlin and Gwen?"

Igraine shook her head sadly as she felt the couple's disappointment. She was surprised by how much Camelot loved Merlin and Gwen and how readily they accepted the idea of Gwen as their Queen. The nobles had not been so quick to warm to the idea, ranting loudly so that the King might hear that it was an insult to them to have to bow to a servant girl. One such noble, Sir Gaston, felt it was his duty to tell Arthur to his face. After two weeks in the dungeons and the loss of most his lands, he realized that he made a mistake, but Arthur was not moved, telling him that now he and his family were poor and should have no problem kneeling to a commoner Queen. After that, no one dared utter a word against Gwen. His wife had thrown herself at Igraine's feet and begged for her to intervene, but Igraine knew it was useless. Despite how much Arthur had changed, he would never be anything but cruel to those who demeaned or threatened his Guinevere. She smiled back at the baby.

"Hopefully, they will be with us in the fall. Babies are precious gifts." Igraine slipped the baby into the father's waiting arms. As she reached for the other baby, a deep pair of brown eyes viewed her strangely, "Yes, little one, I'm new."

"My Queen, this is my daughter."

Igraine pressed the baby close to her heart. "Matilda, she has brown eyes like my mother." Quickly, Igraine passed the squirming baby to her mother. "May the gods, bless you."

Igraine's blue eyes clouded with despair, the pain of a loss that would never go away washed over her with full force.

_Pain racked her lower body as damp sheets clung to her quivering body. Igraine struggled to maintain her breathing as she listened to her babies crying. "Martha, bring me my children." Igraine's eyes fluttered close as she struggled to remain conscious. Her body was weakened from the many hours of labor. Martha appeared by her bed, holding a golden goblet. "Drink, milady, you need your strength. Igraine drank thistly as Matilda cradled her head. Her heavy eyes closed._

_Igraine's tired eyes opened to reveal Uther sitting in a red velvet chair cradling a baby bundled in a white blanket. Igraine wished the image could melt her heart or make her feel an ounce of compassion for Uther. How could one so handsome have such a black heart?_

"_Uther?"_

"_He's perfect. Finally, an heir for Camelot."_

_She set up; trying to find the other figure she longed to see. _"_Where's our daughter?"_

"_Oh, Igraine, she died while you were sleeping. She was too small to live," he said, never taking his eyes off Arthur._

_Igraine's breath stole from her lungs as a dark clouded filled her fragile mind. Tears streaming down her tired face as she struggled to understand. "I want to see her."_

"_She's was cremated."_

_Igraine couldn't believe what she was hearing? How could he burn her baby without letting her see her sweet face?" WHY, HOW COULD YOU DO SUCH A THING TO OUR BABY?" Igraine screamed._

_Uther looked up, his face twisted in anger._ "_Mother to my heir or not, you don't question me, EVER. Wolves would have eaten her body. Be glad that you have a surviving child. Arthur Pendragon, the next King of Camelot." _

_Igraine gasped in horror._"_Arthur?"_

"_Yes, my son is named Arthur."_

"_It's just like Uther."_

"_He will be molded in my image - A true son of Camelot."_

_Igraine was filled with despair. Her daughter was dead and her son was lost to her, trapped in the hands of a monster._ "_NO!" Igraine screamed as her world faded black._

"Mother?" Arthur gently shook Igraine's trembling shoulders.

"No, Uther," Igraine muttered. Her hands roughly brushed his hands away.

"Mother," Arthur whispered softly. "I'm not father," he said, kissing her hand. "I'm made in your image. Same eyes. Same face. Same hair. Hopefully, the same heart." Igraine shook her head to refocus her mind. Her hand brushed Arthur's face. "Silly me, it must be my age."

"Nonsense, you are still young."

Igraine hooked her arm around Arthur's as they walked towards the castle. "What are you doing here, Arthur?"

"I was in the middle ward visiting the Lottis."

Igraine did a double take. "Since when does The King visit the house of merchants?"

Arthur laughed. "I am the people's King, Mother. The enlightened monarch, who will marry a commoner Queen."

Igraine smiled. The people were so proud of him and his willingness to make new traditions.

"Anyway, the oldest son Harlan wishes to be a knight."

"But knights have to be of noble blood."

"I know that is how it has always been and how father always wanted it, but I see no reason why a man cannot be a knight based on his own merits. Besides, I fear that things with Odin are escalating and if that is the case, I am going to need as many knights as I can get. "

Igraine's smile faded. The last thing she wanted to think about was Arthur having to fight another war.

"Let's not talk about this," said her son, squeezing her arm. "What were you thinking about just now?"

"I was just remembering your birth."

"The greatest day of your life," Arthur smiled.

"The most painful days of my life, Arthur," she teased.

"Still, I was the most beautiful baby ever."

She nodded. "Just wait until Gwen gives you a child. Your baby will be the most perfect beautiful child in the world." Igraine's hand stroked Arthur's trembling fingers, her own pain of losing her daughter beginning to feel her with dread. "I don't know if she'll be able to handle having a child after being out there."

"She'll be okay. Gwen is tougher than any of us think."

She nodded, knowing what Arthur didn't - it was no small thing to be a mother to Pendragons. It required a tolerance for suffering that she wasn't sure her sweet Gwen had. She prayed she was wrong and that Gwen was strong enough for the joys, fears and heartaches it would bring. _After all, she survived it, didn't she?_

Edwin breathed roughly as he tried to ease his anger. His soul couldn't connect with Mother Earth. His senses were enraged over the evil living in his camp, tainting his people as they lived happily and peaceful. What kind of monster could attack a sleeping, defenseless girl? How could anyone be so cowardly and evil to create such chaos and strife in their lives? He bit down on his lip angrily. He already knew the answer to his question. There was only one person besides Morgause who was powerful enough to overcome his protection spell. Edwin shook his dark head as Freya's pretty face was revealed in his mind, but still she was his sister and she had been so sweet with Wesley just last night…He shook his head. He had to stop lying to himself; his wife had been right about Freya all along. She was a willing vessel for evil and destruction and he had let her in his family, INSISTED Morgause except her, let her bond with his son! He slammed a fist against a large oak tree. Edwin's rage blocked the surge of pain in his hand.

Morgause held Gwen as she often held like Wesley as she attempted to soothe the frightened girls' fears. Gwen's small fingers twisted around Morgause's thick blonde locks. Her tears soaked Morgause bodice. "I am so sorry about your hair," she said, running her hands through what little was left of her once long, glorious hair.

Gwen stilled. "I don't care about that, I've never like my hair anyway but Arthur…he'll think I'm ugly and he won't want me anymore."

Morgause shut her sad brown eyes. "Arthur Pendragon loves you, Gwen. He has a good heart. He won't care how you look, just as long as you are safe. He's not the boy you knew all these years. He's shedding Uther's control because you showed him the way."

Gwen shook her dampen face. "Arthur was always strong. He had to be to survive Uther's control and abuse. He was destined to be a great man and a great King, greater than any King who has come before him, especially his father."

Morgause's hands massaged Gwen's and smiled at her devotion to Arthur and let her thoughts wander to Uther Pendragon - her father. She still had a hard time believing that such a monster could have created her and her twin brother Arthur. For the longest time after her foster mother told her of her true origins, she lived in fear that her father would steal her away and force her to return to Camelot, but then she reminded herself that Uther had told Igraine that she was dead because he did not want a useless girl. Sometimes, she would watch Arthur in a visualizing pool as a child. Her small face would cringe in fear as Uther would scream harsh words at Arthur or deliver hard slaps to the young boy's face. Her head hung in shame as she remembered Igraine hiding bruises on her wrist from Uther's brutal embraces. Morgause didn't feel any remorse about Uther Pendragon burning in a fiery hell. He earned it. But her poor sweet mother! She did not deserve to have to carry the burden of so many secrets, or to have so many secrets kept from her. But fairy blood was strong, strong enough to destroy any evil that the gods may throw their way.

Since she was a child she always knew that Merlin and Gwen would reunite her with her brother and mother, her visions of them forming and growing stronger as the years passed. So, she waited for their arrival. She would watch them grow up, then venture to the forbidden pool, the one she could only visit when her foster mother was asleep, and see different futures involving the pair and was shocked to see that all of Gwen's futures involved Arthur. She saw how much her brother loved and needed the girl and so she made a vow that nothing or no one would harm Gwen. She had seen in one of the futures how her death would lead to the destruction of Camelot. Arthur would embrace the darkness of his soul. She would do anything to protect her brother's soul, even if it meant killing Freya. She shuttered at the thought of having to harm her husband and son's blood kin, but she knew that Edwin's demon sister created a medley of chaos in Gwen's fragile world. Sometimes, Morgause was afraid of her anger. It swirled around her soul making her question the path of light. Morgause was always able to push away dark thoughts, until today, when Freya had snuck into Gwen's home and cut off most of her beautiful hair. What she wanted with it, the gods only knew, but Freya would suffer for her actions.

Morded greedily sniffed his prize as he rolled around the dirt floor of the cave. He rubbed Gwen's luscious hair over his face and sniffed the strands that fell into his mouth. When Freya had returned without Gwen again he almost strangled her, but when he presented her with a bagful of her glorious crown, the locks that caught his eye, he was appeased. He laid there imagining what it would be like if she was beside him and he was running his finger through her hair. She was so small, so gentle. He couldn't help but wonder how Arthur was with her. Was he rough and demanding or sweet and pleasing? "No matter," he laughed, sighing as he draped her hair over his bare chest, the feeling of desire taking complete control over all his senses. His touch was all that's she'd ever know from now on. Yes, he'd make her forget all about Arthur.

Leon rolled his eyes in disgust as he listened to Morgana's soft giggling and Lancelot's deep voice rumbling in their tent. Arthur will be displeased when he learns of their affair. How could Lancelot be so stupid? Morgana couldn't be trusted; Leon remembered finding her in a dark forest passionately kissing Alvarr. He listened to her betraying Arthur, Camelot, and her fellow knights as she gave great details about their proposed attacked on Bayard's knights. That night, Leon lost his first love for Morgana. A sweet pure love was replaced with a simmering mistrust and disdain. Maybe, Lancelot would keep Morgana on the path of good. Leon doubted it; Morgana lived for the thrill of the chase.

The campfire crackled as Leon tossed a log on the red blaze. He wished for a sweet woman to love and protect someone that he could speak with about his life, a woman to create a safe home to leave his worries on the battle field. One day, he would find a special leady to hold his heart. Gwen managed to piece the armor around Arthur's heart. He knew love would find him.

In the meantime, he had an heir in his younger brother Galahad. The young lad brought Leon and his mother so much joy, a late in life surprise during the great illness. Galahad was born when his family was torn about from his sister Elaine's death and his father's valiant battle against the Great Illness. Elaine was such a sweet girl, but sickly and sad. Gwen was her only friend. When she became ill she made him promise her that he would look after Gwen. He wouldn't allow her to fall for Arthur's charm. Elaine didn't live to see Gwen influence on Arthur. Elaine would be the happiness noble for Gwen when she became queen. _Yes, I have to find Gwen. Find her for Elaine's memory._

Nimueh's blue eyes regard Balinor's dark, cold lair deep below the Earth. _What would the mortals say, if they knew the dangers that lurked beneath their homes?_

Balinor looked up from his throne and smiled. A chill ran down her spine. He jumped up and made his way towards her.

"Nimueh, how are you, love?"

Nimueh's blue eyes flared with disgust as Balinor attempted to press a soft kiss on her cheek. His touch could disrupt the balance between good and evil. She roughly pushed him away.

"This isn't a social call."

"It never is with you love, but that doesn't mean we can't be sociable."

"There is a disturbance in the balance of good and evil, dark clouds are forming and threatening to push us all into darkness."

Balinor titled his head and clapped his hands. "Good news at last."

"This isn't a joke Balinor."

"Who's joking?"

"I know that you are behind this."

"Me?" he said, moving back towards her, his hand massaging her shoulder. "I've been here, twiddling my thumbs, all alone. Have you checked what your spawns are up to lately?"

"My children are merely pawns in your game."

"My game? I'm afraid you've got it all wrong Love. I am reformed. I have done nothing but honor the vow I made to you when The Pendragon and his twin was born. I'm done with the mortal realm."

"Even though your son dwells there?"

Balinor's jaw stiffened and she was pleased to see that her words affected him.

"One's children must be free to follow their own path, you taught me that. But I have no doubt that very soon he will see that The Pendragon is as worthless as his father and then, when he is ready, Merlin will come to me, but I will do nothing to put those events in motion. Although, I do not have to tell you that blood is the strongest pull of all." 

"Don't give me that," she said, slapping his hand away. "You and your minions are up to something and you are not going to get away with it."

"Darkness, you've become so dramatic in your old age. Besides even if I were up to something as you say, what do you care?" It's your job to stay out of these things, remember?"

Nimueh's eyes darkened. "Balance must be upheld. If you continue this plan of yours to tip the scales towards darkness you and all who follow you will be destroyed."

Chloe twisted her hands nervously as she searched for words to comfort Gwen. Her tiny eyes blinked away tears as she felt Gwen's broken sprit shrouding her in sorrow. Chloe wanted to brush the jagged hair tendrils from Gwen's sweet face as she pressed her forehead him against Gwen's trembling brow. Chloe shuddered in fear as she thought of her mother' reaction. Gwen was a member of the fairy world; her attacker would face deadly consequences for their actions. Chloe swallowed as she flew towards her beloved friend; gently Chloe landed on Gwen's shoulder.

"Hello, lovely," Chloe whispered gently. A huge tear drop coated Chloe's small body. "I bathed today. Mother made me. I don't need another bath." Chloe's finger massaged Gwen's quivering neck, "I can tell a story to ease your pain." Gwen nodded slight as Chloe climbed closer to her ear. "Think back, long before you were born. A princess was born to Tatiana and Oberon." Gwen arched a questioning eyebrow.

"I have your interest. You don't know this sister." Gwen felt the soft curls around her ears. "Go on."

"Helena was the most beautiful daughter born to my parents. Her eyes rivaled sapphires; her hair as blonde as the sun; skin as pale as a fluffy cloudy. Her voice was a melodious as a lark. Her great beauty paled to her large loving heart. She loved every creature in the woods. She protected the forest from wasteful hunters."

Chloe began to fly in twirls around the room as she dreamed of her lost sister Helena. Sorrow began to lose it tight grip in Gwen's mind as Chloe's endless chatter occupied the small hut. "One day, large black storm clouds dominated the sky. Thunder roared like a bear as the ground shook. Lightning traced the sky like liquid sliver. A human carriage sped through our forest. White gleaming horse raced down a dirt road covered with tree limbs. The shaking grounds loosen rocks as they fell in front of the racing carriage."

Gwen wiped her sweaty palms on her white apron. She rose and began to fill a kettle with clear water. Chloe hid a smile as Gwen arranged afternoon tea.

"A bolt of lightning struck a might tree, causing smoke to surround the dark road, a small fire smolder as the carriage raced toward destiny. The burning tree broke in two; the burning body landed in front of the carriage. The horse squealed as the driver attempted to maneuver around the burning tree. Alas, the carriage rammed the tree. A large crashing noise woke the sleeping fairy world. Beautiful, sweet Helena flew to help the dying humans. "

Gwen stirred her steaming cup of tea as she absently added sugar to her cup.

"Poor Helena's heart broke from the human suffering. Their pain invaded her sweet mind. Her body ached from their painful death. Most of the people were dead, except one young girl named Matilda, a sweet girl with brown hair and brown eyes. Helena touched the dying girl's hand. She saw a handsome lord waiting to marry Matilda. His green eyes beaming with love. Helena made a choice; my mother implored Helena to change her mind."

Gwen's eyes widen. "What happened?"

"Well, Helena hid her great beauty and became Matilda. Her body lengthen, her eyes turned brown, and her hair faded brown. She lay on the side of the road, and waited for the lord's knights to come rescue her. Within a few hours, a scouting party arrived. Marcus, the lord fell to his knees, and he caressed her bruise damp face. His tears twisted in her hair. Slowly, Helena opened her brown eyes, and her heart sang as she saw adoration in Marcus' eyes."

Gwen's lips quivered softly. "Love is wonderful."

"Marcus and Helena married. They were the happiest days of Marcus life. Then, Helena's body ripened with a child. A daughter was born, but Helena could not endure the vigor of childbirth. Her spirit floated to Avalon. Mother wanted to retrieve her grandchild; our army fairies arrived one dark night at the castle. I saw my mother cry as Marcus cradled his beautiful daughter to his chest. The baby had Helena's true face with glorious blonde hair and sapphire eyes. That fateful night, my mother saw her granddaughter's destiny.

"And?"

"She would marry a monster, but bare him a set of twins, both as beautiful as the sun-A girl with Matilda's brown eyes, and a boy the image of Helena. The girl would grow into a great sorceress trained by the goddess. The boy would become a great king. Under his rule the lands would have prosperity and happiness."

Gwen laughed. "He could be Arthur except he doesn't have a twin sister."

Chloe sprinkled fairy dust around Gwen. "He loves you. For the person inside like Marcus loved Helena. Your hair isn't important."

Gwen jumped when the hut door open unexpectedly. Morgause stood with Wesley hiding behind her dress. Tears shimmered in her soft honey brown eyes. "I've come to help, love."

"How, Morgause? Can you take away my fear?"

"No, my girl, but I can help you. Trust me. Search your heart."

Wesley slowly walked towards Gwen's chair. His young lips placed a gentle kiss on her cheekbone. "You're still perfect. I'll fight Arthur for you." Gwen nodded softly as Morgause drew closer.

Freya had never felt such contentment as she did lying in Merlin's arms. She had been with men before, but none had ever been so gentle, so reverent, so loving. Being with Merlin felt like home. They hadn't gone into the forest to do this. She had run into Merlin after leaving Morded's lair and she was desperate to keep him from going home and seeing what she had done. She thought about putting a sleeping spell on him, but before she could he had pulled her into his arms. He said that he could see that she was upset and scared. He begged her to tell her what was wrong, he wanted to help, he cared, and suddenly she was filled with such an incredible need to let herself go, but she knew she couldn't. She told him that she couldn't tell him, that he wouldn't understand. He held her even closer and whispered words of love and devotion. Instinctively, her lips moved to his and he responded hungrily. Before she knew it, their clothes were falling off and they were on the ground, their bodies intertwined in the oldest, most sacred dance of their people.

Now, as she watched his sleeping form she knew that she had found the love she had always been looking for, even as she knew that her past and future actions would assure that they could never be together. She fought back tears as he opened his eyes.

"Good morning beautiful."

She forced herself to smile. "Good morning."

He sat up, concerned. "Are you ok? I didn't hurt you last night did I?"

She laughed. He was so sweet. He thinks it was her first time. "No," she said, sweetly. "I am fine. It is just it was so perfect."

Merlin smiled and brushed his palm against her arm. "For me too."

She looked into his eyes. He cared. He really cared. What was she doing? She had to end this thing with Morded. She had to hold onto Merlin. He would balance her in the way she was meant to balance the world. "Merlin do you remember how upset I was last night."

He nodded.

"I couldn't tell you then, but I feel like I can tell you now. I only hope you don't hate me and that you can forgive me."

"Freya," I could never hate you."

She took a deep breath and squeezed his hand. "Merlin…"

"Gods!" he said, jumping up. "It's morning!"

"Yes."

"That means that Gwen's been at home alone all night."

"So?"

"She can't be alone." He was grabbing his clothes and dressing frantically.

"OH WILL YOU FORGET ABOUT THAT TINY BITCH FOR A MOMENT AND THINK ABOUT ME!" The ground shook with her outburst and her eyes glowed with fury. Merlin looked at her with a mixture of confusion, hurt and …disgust. "Merlin I'm sorry." She tries to reach for him, but he pulled away.

"I have to go," he stammered, practically running away from her.

She watched her love go and cried bitterly when she realized that she had lost her chance for happiness and Freya knew just who to blame - beautiful perfect Gwen, who all men loved and protected. That stupid little servant girl had cost her everything. She would make her feel what it was like to lose the one she loved.

Gwen stared curiously at her new reflection in a clear pond as Wesley stood close by guarding her. His young arms flooded tightly across his chest. As his big brown eyes scanned the area of trees, Gwen realized Tatiana's children patrolled the woods around the druid camp. Gwen traced her cheekbone. Morgause fixed her hair last night, springy curls hung around her delicate jaw. Gwen titled her head.

_Well, I'm still alive. It didn't kill me. I have to remember to lock the door. Be careful._

A few butterflies danced around Wesley. Gwen could see his fingers twitching; she knew he longed to chase the brightly colored insects.

"Wesley, go play, "Gwen urged.

"No, I'm protecting. You're my lady now. Not Arthur's" Wesley pouted. Gwen laughed softly as she realized Wesley had Arthur's mannerisms. Wesley sulked just like Arthur, the very same lip poke and cloudy eyes, and folded arms.

Gwen shooed Wesley away as she spied Merlin walking towards her. "Here comes, Merlin. Go play, Wesley." Wesley smiled brightly as he followed a family of butterflies.

Gwen noticed Merlin had a hard gleam in his usually innocent blue eyes. His dark hair was longer. Merlin was different. She could see tension in his shoulders.

'What's wrong, Merlin?"

Merlin swallowed gravely. "You have to leave. Kilgharrah will meet you tonight. Go to Camelot."'

"But..."

"Arthur is waiting for you. I'm not asking."


	7. Chapter 7

Arthur," Lenore called as her green eyes spotted the young king's perfect form rushing towards the Council room.

"Good morning, Lenore," Arthur replied formally. "How are you?"

Lenore placed a soft hand on Arthur's forearm as she blinked earnestly," I've been concerned about you, Arthur. You have changed over the last few months."

Arthur gently disengaged Lenore's hands. He smiled gently at the beautiful noble woman. "Yes, Lenore, _things_ have changed over the last few months."

Lenore smiled. "Of course, you finally conquered your mother's handmaiden. Congratulations, milord. You were very valiant in your efforts."

Arthur smiled shrewdly at Lenore. "Guinevere is not a conquest. I plan to marry her."

Lenore brushed a strand of red hair from her face. It was all the nobles could talk about, the shame of their king taking a servant as a wife, many had taken particular delight in engaging her on her opinions about the development. _"And to think," Lady Gaston said, looking directly at her, "he could have made any one of us his bride."_ She smirked at the memory. She hoped Susan was enjoying her new life as a bar maid. She would be lying if she said that it didn't sting a little that Arthur was so quick to destroy anyone who posed a threat to his little lamb while she had been left for months to fend for herself. She widened her smile. "Of course, you're going to marry her. I'm not a fool, nothing like a prize, which you waited for and hunted."

Arthur tightened his jaw as he viewed Lenore with skeptical eyes. "Lenore, you never engage me in public like this…"

"Per our agreement, milord."

"…So, what do you want?"

She moved closer to him. "Arthur, nothing has to change between us. I'm still as loyal a supporter of my handsome virile sovereign as I have ever been for years."

Arthur swallowed. Her meaning was clear. "I plan to remain faithful to my queen."

Lenore's feminine laughter floated around like summer raindrops. "Like you were faithful to her during the last five years?" She put her hand on his hard chest. "You spent so many years protecting and scaring men away from your sweet naive Gwen, and all the while you had no problem enjoying my company. Where was all this devotion when you were pressed against my body," she whispered huskily, "doing things with me that I know you'd never dare do with her?"

Arthur's cheeks reddened as his expression darkened. "That's the past."

Lenore laughed. "Would your little lamb understand about us?" She smiled as Arthur's jaw clenched and a vein throbbed in his throat.

"She knows that I've lived a dangerous life. She knows that I have…encountered other women."

Lenore traced a finger along Arthur's jaw. "Would you understand if Gwen took a lover?"

Arthur's body tensed in anger and Lenore instinctively stepped back.

"Lenore," he hissed dangerously, "leave Guinevere out of our matters. Our business is our business. Never refer to her again."

Lenore licked her lips gently. "So, we still have personal matters?" she asked, trying to soften his anger.

Lenore smirked as Arthur stomped away to his Council meeting. She had no idea why he was being so cross with her. He knew that she had no desire to be his queen. It was much too restrictive for her personality. She enjoyed the position as King's mistress. It gave her a position of power among the noblemen. After her husband's death, invitations to dinners were not forth coming. Her coffers were bare. Her liaison with Arthur kept her in a nice lifestyle and she wanted to keep that lifestyle. Gwen could have his love, title, and his heirs. She wanted security. She had nothing against Gwen, in fact she liked her, she was a lovely child, but that was just it, she was a child. Arthur was in denial if he thought sweet lovemaking with Gwen could replace the sheer carnal release that she could offer. He must know that his sweet little lamb could not deal with his moodiness, temper, or mean streak. Sure, Arthur had been abrupt with Gwen in the past, but Gwen had never really seen that the storm lingering beneath the surface. Arthur may plead that he wants devotion, but when the strain of being a white knight for his child bride becomes too much he will seek me out. When his life spins out of control, he'll need me to center him.

Lenore turned on her heel to return to her chamber, Gorlois gave her a friendly wide smile as she approached. Lenore noticed mischief lurking in his eyes. _Had he heard her exchange with Arthur?_ Lenore knew men, and Gorlois was a dangerous one. Underneath his obvious charm lived something, she was quite sure.

"Good morning, milady," he said, bowing dramatically.

"How are you Lord Lefay?"

Gorlois leaned against a decorated wall as he surveyed Lenore. She was ambitious and dangerously beautiful. Her long red hair hung to the middle of her back. Her wide green eyes dominated her delicate face. A pair of wide sensual lips curled in a sweet smile. A brown dress curved her slender body. Unlike Gwen, Lenore was a true woman, one with needs to be met.

"It's a beautiful day," he said letting each syllable run through his lips.

"Camelot is always beautiful, milord," she said dryly.

"As beautiful as its inhabitants," he said inching closer.

Lenore smirked. _He is trying to charm me. My poor Arthur, you have no idea about your enemies lurking in your inner circle. _"Thank you, milord."

"Forgive me, but I could not help but overhear that the young king has severed your acquaintance."

"For now," she said, her eyes betraying only the slightest of bit of her distress.

Gorlois smiled as he took a bite of the apple in his hands. "I have to tell you that I have been in Camelot all summer and have not heard nary a peep about your friendship. Is our Commoner Queen aware of your dalliances with the King?"

Lenore crossed her arms and shook her head no when he offered her a bite of his apple. "Gilded cages tend to be soundproof," she smirked.

Gorlois smiled. "Since our king seems to be occupied with other things, maybe, we could share a meal."

Lenore eyed him carefully. "Perhaps" she said, wagging a finger at him," but just a meal."

Percival scooped a handful of cool water into his dry mouth. He jumped back when a smiling face appeared in the small stream. A small child with orange hair and amber eyes beamed at him. Slowly, she rose from the rushing stream.

"Did I scare you?" Percival stared at her with large eyes. "Terribly sorry."

A dark eyebrow arched in confusion. "No problem."

"I'm Tiger lily. I'm a fairy."

"I gather this."

"Call me Tiger because I'm orange."

Percival grabbed his sword as he began to rush towards the green forest. "Sure, little lady."

Tiger buzzed in his face. "Look, my mother is Queen of the Fairies. You're going to Camelot to serve Arthur Pendragon. I don't have time to explain." Tiger sprinkled fairy dust along Percival large body. "To Camelot."

Gwen was begging Merlin to slow down, but he continued on his unrelenting pace, pulling her hand as they reached the river. Finally, she had enough and wrestled her hand out of his.

"Gwen we are not …"

"Enough Merlin!" she said, moving away from him. "I'm not going any further until you tell me what is going on. Why are you in such a hurry to return to Camelot? I thought we had to stay with Edwin and Morgause until you completed your training."

Merlin let out a heavy sigh. "That was my mistake. We should have returned to Camelot the second we realized that Morded was chasing us. You have dangerous enemies here Gwen. People who want to do you real harm."

Gwen touched his arm. "Is this about what happened to me last night? Because, I decided today that I am not going to be afraid anymore. I'm going to find out who did this to me and I am going to confront them. It's time that I start taking care of myself Merlin."

Merlin smiled, his heart filled with so much love it ached. "One day you will be a brave and loyal Queen, no one doubts that, but this is not something you can handle on your own. Evil is growing stronger by the day. Gwen," he said, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Morded is here and if we don't leave soon he will find you."

Gwen's eyes widened in fear. "Here? How?" She jumped back clearly trying to calm herself. "It doesn't matter," she finally said. "He can't get to us."

Merlin moved towards her and ran his fingers through what was left of her hair. "He already has."

The blood drained from her face. "Are you saying that Morded was the one who cut my hair?"

He closed his eyes. "In a way."

"What do you mean in a way?" Confusion played on Gwen's sweet face.

"Freya did it. She's working for Morded."

"Freya? Edwin's sister Freya? Freya, who you have a crush on?" Merlin's eyes widen in shock. "Yes, I noticed." Why?"

"It doesn't matter why, all that matters is that she is working with Morded and we can't trust her." He pulled her into his arms. "Don't worry Gwen. I'll protect you." Merlin spent his life looking after Gwen, but recently he let his guard down. The consequences were steep. Gwen was shivering and he tried his best to make soothing motions down her back. Gwen felt so right in his arms as if the center of his world was her warm, trembling body. Life was perfect with her head resting on his shoulder. His hands seemed to be working to relax her until a voice, high and venomous interrupted them.

"Well, well, well isn't this touching?"

Merlin looked at Freya and moved Gwen behind him.

"What," she said, sauntering closer, "no kiss for your true love?"

Merlin's expression hardened. "Go away Freya or I'll kill you."

Freya let out a small laugh. "And to think, just last night you were with me, worshipping my body and whispering your enduring love."

"I assure you Freya I never made such utterances, but if a Merlin did say that to you I'm sure his words and actions were for the woman he loved, not the monster who stands before me now."

The hurt on Freya's face was unmistakable. "I'm a monster? And what do you call a woman who is so self absorbed with her own concerns that she shoos a little boy away without making sure that he is okay?"

Merlin and Gwen looked at each other.

"What are you talking about Freya?" he asked, a feeling of dread beginning to settle in.

"Sweet Guinevere, where is Wesley?"

Merlin felt Gwen tense beside him.

"What have you done, Freya?" he asked, his own concern rising.

"I'm not talking to you, Love, I'm talking to her. Can't she talked, or are her golden pipes to exquisite to be exerted with the likes of me."

Gwen stepped forward. "I don't know why you hate me so much Freya, but if you have a problem with me, take it up with me, leave Wesley out of this."

"If you have a problem with me leave Wesley out of it," Freya mocked laughing as she skipped around them. "Well, I do have a problem with you," she said, her face contorted in anger, "and I'll drag anybody into it I wish!"

"Just tell me that he is alright," begged Gwen.

"Just tell me he's alright! Gods you're annoying. I assure you that the little brat is just fine, whether he stays fine depends on you, Gwennie."

"What do I have to do?"

"Nothing much," she said circling them. "Nothing too painful, well maybe a little painful." She started laughing and only stopped when she noticed their horrified glares. "I just need you to come with me to see an old friend."

"Morded." Gwen spat.

"What do you know; you're not as dumb as you look."

"Ok," said Gwen stepping forward. "I'll go."

"There has to be another way," Merlin pleaded.

"There is no other way- Gwen's life for the boy. That's the deal."

Merlin couldn't believe what he was hearing. "How can you do this? Wesley is your nephew, your family."

Freya looked at him, her face bleak, but certain. "I have no family."

Merlin was so busy arguing with Freya that he didn't see the large stick in Gwen's hand. He fell to the ground instantly.

Gwen felt horrible for hurting Merlin, but she knew that there was no other way.

She saw Freya laugh as she looked at Merlin's sleeping form. "I suppose that is the only way he's bearable these days. Do you think my dear brother and his stupid fairy of a wife notice that Wesley's gone yet? I bet they do. I bet Princess Morgause is shrieking in agony at…"

She turned to Freya and slapped her.

Freya touched her face in surprise, her eyes glowing with anger. "Never touch me again human! Do you understand me? The entire male population of these gods' forsaken lands may find you irresistible, but I think you are nothing and I will not hesitate to kill you. "She grabbed her arm."Let's go, your new life as Lord Morded's whore." She pushed her forward. "By the way, nice haircut."

Her evil laughter followed them all the way into the forest.

Morded eyed the young boy lying in the corner. Grabbing the brat was easy, he was so busy picking flowers for Gwen that he didn't see him coming from behind, but keeping him quiet was another matter. He mouthed off the entire time, telling stupid little jokes and puffing out his chest as he made threats and demanded to be let go. Somehow, the boy had managed to get past him and began hurling spells, powerful spells that sent pain searing though his body.

Finally, he was able to grab a plate just in time to reflect his spell. He fell to the ground and Morded wasted no time exacting his revenge. Oh, who was he kidding? He probably would have taken any excuse to kick that snot out of him. There was just something about him that he just didn't like.

Freya eyed her nephew as painful remorse and guilt filled her heart. She didn't want Wesley hurt. She actually loved Wesley. Why do I do these things? It's wrong. I can't help myself. "He's hurt. You weren't supposed to hurt him. He's a child."

Morded rolled his eyes. "What do you want Freya?"

"My Lord, I have a present for you."

Morded laughed. When they first met he had found her exciting and dangerous. Her dark power was irresistible. Now, he was sick of the very sight of her. He no longer desired her companionship and the one thing that he did desire from her she could not deliver. "You have nothing I want Freya. Be gone."

A small figure came from behind the witch and Morded's heart leapt in his throat. _Finally!_ He offered his hand. Gwen eyed Morded nervously. Soon, that look would be replaced with pure adoration. He smiled at the thought.

"Gwen, my pet. Welcome home."

Gwen looked at him in disgust and quickly scanned the cave. Her mouth fell open when she saw who she was looking for.

"Wesley!" his pet shrieked, running toward the boy. She inspected him and looked up at him, anger in her eyes. "You, Monster! How could you beat up a child?" She untied his bonds. Her hands lovingly caressed the boy's battered face. Freya watched curiously, Gwen is gentle with everyone. _Would she have liked me? I could have been nice? Freya shook her head. Doesn't matter now. I'm chaos. I'm trouble. Unloved. Unwanted._

Morded licked his lips. _Gods, how he loved her spunk._

"The child attacked me with his magic. He had it coming."

"You… shouldn't…. have come Gwen…," the brat said through clattering teeth. "I can take care of myself."

Gwen pulled the boy to him.

"You can go now Freya, you have done your duty to your Lord."

Freya bowed. "May I expect the pleasure of your company later?"

Morded laughed, his eyes never leaving his pet. "Goodbye Freya."

He didn't care to hear what she was mumbling as she left, he was just glad that she was gone. He moved to Gwen roughly pulled her up. "Are you here of your own free will?"

"I'm here to save Wesley," she said, looking back at the boy.

Morded smiled and moved behind her, his mouth near her ear. "Are you willing to pay the price to save him?"

His pet shivered as he resisted the urge to put his tongue in her mouth.

"Yes," she said.

"And you agree that you belong to me completely?"

"Yes," she whispered, clearly trying to be brave.

Morded closed in on her and sniffed her glorious form. He took in her arms, her shoulders, her chest and her hair. "Excellent," he squealed, his excitement growing by the second. When he was done she looked at him with love dripping in those endless eyes.

"Now keep your promise and let Wesley go!"

Morded bowed. "Anything for you my pet." He moved toward the boy and untied him. "Run along little fellow and be sure to tell your Mother and Father that I said hello."

The brat looked at Gwen. "I'm not leaving Gwen!" he said, his hands making a little ball beside him.

Morded laughed. He wanted nothing more than to send this his lifeless body back to his sanctimonious parents, but he had promised Gwen. Besides, he wasn't done with Nimueh's brood, there would be plenty of time to slaughter the kid later, after he was done training his new pet.

"Wesley. Go Now!" his pet screamed. "Remember always that I love you."

The boy nodded and took off. Morded watched the little boy run, and then slowly turned to claim what was his at last. She was clearly trying not to tremble and her fear made him smile. _Yes, this was going to be a day he would never forget._


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Violence. Charlie 1992, thanks so much for the reviews. We appreciate your comments.

Arthur felt warmth evading his sleep as he twisted in his linen sheets. His body stiffened immediately. He could not believe that she would have the nerve to come here. This was his domain and he had allowed no woman but Guinevere to share it. He did not know what had gotten into her lately, but she needed to be reminded of her place. Roughly, he grabbed the soft hand that trailed over his muscular back. He rolled his visitor on their back as anger masked his handsome features.

"Lenore-" he began gruffly.

"Arthur?" said the small voice in confusion.

He blinked, sure that his eyes were deceiving him. He softened his tight grip on Gwen's dainty wrist. He looked into her sad, tear drenched eyes and gently brushed a ragged curl away from her face.

"Guinevere?" he whispered shakily.

"Hello, Arthur."

"What are you doing here?"

"I had to see you."

He smiled as he pulled her to him. As their foreheads touched, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath, reveling in the feel of having her in his arms. Gods how he had prayed for this, to just be able to lie still in his chambers with the woman he loved tucked safely in his arms. When he opened his eyes and looked at her, really looked at her, he was shocked by what he saw. "What happened to your hair?"

Gwen bit her lip. "Freya cut it for Lord Morded, she had to give him a token until she could deliver me to him."

Arthur put both hands on Gwen's face. "Gwen you are not making any sense. Who is Freya and why would Morded want your hair?" Gwen didn't answer, she threw her shivering body into Arthur's arms and he held her tightly as she began mumbling against his shoulder.

"What did you say Little Bit?" Arthur whispered.

She pulled away from him and what he saw frightened him – her eyes that were so full of love and life were dead. "I'm here to say goodbye."

Arthur gently grabbed Gwen's chin. "Guinevere, what do you mean?" he asked, panicked at the thought of losing her again.

Gwen darted her eyes away. "I belong to Lord Morded now."

"Belong to Morded? What are you talking about?"

She looked him squarely in the eyes. "It was the only way. He wouldn't stop. He said he would give Wesley back."

"Who is Wesley?"

"Forgive me," she said, her body suddenly turning into mist in his arms. "I love you."

Igraine saw Arthur's long limbs twisting in his sheets as he screamed out Guinevere's name in his sleep. She rushed to his side, frantically, trying to shake him awake him. "Arthur, wake up," she called as she tried to rouse. Arthur's hands moved erratically. Igraine sighed as she dumped a pitcher of cool water on Arthur. He spurted as he attempted to calm his breathing. Hurriedly, he flicked water from his hard sapphire eyes.

"Mother?"

Igraine twisted her hands together. "I heard you screaming in your sleep."

Arthur kicked away his sheets. "Mother, Morded has Guinevere. Awaken, Nimueh."

Igraine gave Arthur a confused look. "How do you…?"

"Mother, please, no questions just do what I ask!"

Wesley's breath felt like fire in his lungs as he raced towards his parents. Tree limbs slapped his face as he rushed through the woods. Sweat poured down his small body. Tears flooded his vision as he finally viewed the Druid Village.

Morgause felt her child's distress as he approached their home. A cool evil wind broke Edwin's mediation as his brown eyes popped out. Wesley's battered body fell into his mother waiting arms. Morgause shook him gentle as Edwin brushed damp hair from his brow.

"Wesley"' Morgause whispered urgently. "My Gods, what happened to you?"

"Mother, save her," he said weakly.

"What?" Morgause asked, trying to calm herself so that she could send positive vibrations to her baby boy. "Wesley, who did this to you?"

Wesley looked at his mother. "Morded. He has Gwen."

A dark look rested on Edwin's face. "Morded? Impossible! I cast the spell of repulsion myself."

Wesley moaned. "No offense Father but I think I know who beat the crap out of me." He winced as he tried to sit up.

Edwin looked at Morgause. "How did he break my spell? He would need dark magic."

"Aunt Freya helped…she…," Wesley managed to mutter as his world faded to darkness.

Morgause looked intently at her husband. He nodded meekly as he rose to his feet with his son in his arms. Carefully, he walked into his home and placed Wesley on his bed. He looked at his son's battered face and anger that he never new possible took hold of him. "Morgause, see to our boy. I have a matter to attend too."

"Edwin, you can't leave, not when you are this angry."

Edwin looked his wife in the eye. "I know what I have to do."

Morgause nodded. She was a seer, no doubt she always knew that was the way that it was always going to end. "Edwin, I'll be here."

Edwin kneeled in front of his wife. "Three visitors will arrive tonight. We will need their help. Find them and let them know what has happened. One way or another, this ends tonight."

Lily fluttered around Gawain's handsome sleeping face. Tousled brown covered his eyes. He snuggled deeply into his warm pillows. Delivering messages to humans was her least favorite assignment, but Mother had spoken. Helena's children were not to be harmed. It was her duty to protect her sister's children. Slowly, she glided to Gawain's ear.

"Your destiny lies in Camelot brave knight, journey there in the morning, seek the knighthood of Camelot." Lily whispered a few magical words to send Gawain into a peace sleep filled with dreams of serving with Arthur, King of Camelot. Her small lips curved in a smile that was easy.

Nimueh would never admit it, but at this moment she was actually afraid of Arthur Pendragon. His mood was erratic as he yelled and paced franticly around the small servant dwelling that housed her magic, but his desperation was clear, as was the lengths he'd go to get answers.

"Arthur-" she began, trying to get him to understand that the spirit realm was not his personal messenger service.

"Don't Arthur me, Nimueh," he said, his whole body conveying the aura of a deadly predator ready to strike if he was denied. "You have your orders."

"Arthur, as I have tried to explain to you, magic doesn't work like that …"

"ENOUGH EXCUSES I WANT TO SEE HER!"

"Arthur please," said his mother, trying to calm him. The overgrown fairy turned her attentions to her. "Nimueh we do not have to tell you how much Gwen means to us. If you can help us find her, you must."  
Nimueh took a deep breath. The young king and The Queen Mother were not going to like what she had to say. "I have already broken too many rules helping you already. Guinevere's destiny must be allowed to unfold with no help from me."

The King walked towards her with measured steps. "She is my queen. That is her destiny," he said, his voice low and severe. "You acknowledge that to me. Morded cannot interfere with things between me and my wife." He caught her gaze and she was surprised to see his hard expression softened. "She's my life," he said, his voice full of feeling. "Please. Show me Guinevere."

Nimueh felt sorry for the kingling, she really did, it was obvious that he loved the servant girl with a passion that Nimueh had rarely seen in humans, but she had a responsibility to Creation. The balance between good and evil must be upheld. She opened her mouth and prepared herself for Arthur's wrath when she spotted a translucent Tatiana and Oberon with a fairy army hovering above Arthur's head. This was no good. If those meddling fairies got involved Balinor would feel justified in breaking their treaty and all hell would literally break loose. Fine, she'd relent on this one last thing. She pasted a calm smile on her face. "Yes, milord."

Arthur nodded.

Nimueh's hand swiftly moved over her makeshift reflecting pools. The clear water bubbled as foam floated over the sides. A dark cloud ascended from the bowl as the waves begin to settle. A fuzzy image of Gwen emerged. Her small form shook with fear and her short damp curls clung to her chin. Gwen raised her head and Igraine gasped when she viewed her bloody bruised face. Her left eye was purple and swollen shut. A small trickle of blood appeared along her swollen lips. Reds scratches adorned her neck. Her bodice was ripped. A dark figure moved towards her as she raised a rock shard in her hand. Then, the image disappeared.

"WHAT HAPPENED! BRING HER BACK!" Arthur demanded his movements were wild and desperate.

"The link is broken Sire."

Arthur turned to his mother, his face contorted in agony. "He hurt her. HE HURT HER!" He looked around and grabbed the chair nearest to him.

Igraine flinched when she saw him throw the chair against the wall. Soon Arthur was throwing everything that he could find around the room, his accompanying screams raw and primal. When he finally looked down at the mess he made, he noticed a small doll. He picked it up and pressed it against him, sinking to his knees. She kneeled beside him "Arthur please," she begged.

"He hurt her," he whispered in a voice that sounded more like a child then a powerful king. "What kind of man abuses women? How can any man beat a woman? He hurt her," Arthur mumbled over and over again. She continued to rock him, and then just as quickly as it began the sobbing stopped and he was back in control. She looked at him and she knew at the moment that he could never find out about the night of his conception. His hatred for Uther would consume him.

"Arthur," it will be okay, Gwen will be okay. We'll make her okay," Igraine said softly.

Arthur squeezed the doll in his hand and the look on his face chilled Igraine more than anything she'd ever experienced. She shuddered as he finally spoke, his words said like a curse. "I am going to kill him. He's going to feel every ounce of pain that he inflicted on Guinevere."

Merlin looked at his younger self, took a deep breath, and then emptied the bucket of cold water on his head. "Get up!" he commanded as his younger self looked at him, confused. He had put a sleeping spell on Merlin and hid him in the barn so that he could get Gwen out of town without any unnecessary complications. He knew that if Gwen had a choice between following him or staying with her younger self that he'd lose his chance to rescue. But now, he needed his younger self's help, a younger self who kept trying to shake himself awake.

"Will you stop that? You're not dreaming."

"Sure I am," he said, pinching his arm hard. "OUCH!"

"See."

His younger self's eyes widened. "You're me."

He nodded.

"But how can you be me if I'm me?"

"I'm you from the future."

His younger self started laughing. "Oh, I get it. This is a test. Edwin is playing some type of magic trick on me to see if I'm ready to finally go at it alone. So what happens next? We battle and see who the better Merlin is. Ok," he said, moving his hands up in some ridicules position. "I'm ready."

"Merlin this isn't a trick or a test. I'm here and I need your help."

"How can you be here? I'm not even supposed to be here."

"What's the last thing that you remember?"

"I woke up with…well," he said clearing his throat. "I woke up on the hillside by the lake and realized that I had been there all night. I felt bad about leaving Gwen alone all night so I went to pick her some flowers…you know as a sort of apology… and the next thing I know I'm here, looking at me, I mean you."

"I saw you in the forest and I put a sleeping spell on you. Remember."

The younger man's eyes widened. "I do."

The older Merlin grabbed his head. It was still throbbing. He couldn't help but smile though; he didn't think his Gwen had it in her. His younger self eyed him intently.

"What happened to your head?"

"Gwen. She knocked me out with a stick."

His younger self looked skeptical. "Why would Gwen knock you out with a stick?"

"Because she knew I would never let her go to Morded."

"Morded? He's here? How?"

"It's a long story."

"Well it doesn't matter if he's here, Edwin's protection spells will keep him out. He can't get to Gwen."

He exhaled noisily. "He already has."

"Impossible, no outsider can break Edwin's spells."

"He has an ally whose dark magic is strong enough to break any protection spell."

"Nobody here would ever help Morded."

"Somebody would and did."

"Who?"

"Freya."

His younger self laughed. "Now I know you're full of it. Why would Freya betray you, I mean me, I mean us? Gods this is confusing."

"Freya is not like other girls."

"You don't have to tell me that," his younger self said almost dreamily.

Merlin eyed his younger self with disgust. Had he really been so enamored with that evil witch? "She is evil, chaos incarnate."

His younger self went rigid. "Look, I'll be the first to say that Freya has her problems, but she has a good heart, I've seen it."

Older Merlin could not help but laugh. "It is not your heart that has captured your imagination and set you on fire."

His younger self blushed. "You don't know for sure that Freya will hurt Gwen."

"Yes I do. I'm from the future. Pay attention." Merlin folded his arms. "I don't care if you believe me or not. Freya and Morded have Gwen and I'm going to save her."

"This has all happened before? I mean, in your past and my future."

"Yes. When it happened to me I was blinded by my infatuation with Freya, I couldn't see who and what she was and we walked right into Morded's lair. We managed to escape, barely, but Gwen she…he put her through an ordeal and she was broken. I tried to comfort and heal her, but she only wanted Arthur. Arthur, her Golden Prince who could never protect her when it really mattered! Still, she loves him." Merlin felt guilty; he actually liked and admired young King Arthur except when it came to Gwen. He brought Morded into their lives. Arthur was carless with Gwen; something that he could never be again, because Merlin would be there to protect her.

Merlin eyed his older self, surprised at how venomous he sounded when mentioning Arthur.

"I used my magic to reach out to Arthur, then I accidentally cast a spell that sent me into the past. For once I was grateful that I couldn't control my magic because now I had a chance to save Gwen, to be her hero, to stop it all from happening. But I failed, again. Morded has Gwen and I fear for her life. You need me, Merlin. Now, I've become Emrys with complete control of my magic."

His younger self grew quiet. He felt protective of Gwen too, but there was something in his older self's eyes when he mentioned Gwen that he never saw in his own, or had he? Something hanging in the back of his mind always afraid to surface? He dreaded the question that he had to ask next. "Did he kill her in your time?"

"No, but the future has changed. I've seen things happen that did not happen in my time."

"Such as?" his younger self was still skeptical.

"Freya and I never_ knew_ each other if you get my meaning."

Judging by how much blood drained out of the younger's man face he did.

"How did you…were you spying on me…us…I mean…"

"We don't have time for this. If the past is changing, then the future has changed and that means that anything can happen. Just because Gwen survived before, doesn't mean she'll survive this time. "

Merlin looked his older self in the eye. "It's bad isn't it?"

Merlin nodded. "She needs us now more than ever."

"Then, why are we wasting time here? We have to get to Gwen." Merlin jumped up, tripping over his pants and falling back down on the ground.

Merlin looked at his younger self pick himself up and walked ahead of him. "Gods, I am an idiot!"

Igraine found Arthur staring silently at a full gleaming moon hanging in a dark starless night. Arthur heard his mother creep behind him. "This is my fault, mother. I allowed Gwen out of my protection and Morded saw something in her. He saw her innocence, naiveté, and sweetness. He wanted it like me. Am I monster mother? I would have done anything to posses her."

Igraine ran her hand along Arthur's back in solid, soothing motions. She listened to his rhythmically heartbeat. A tear dropped on a deep red rose. "No Arthur. You would have done anything to love her and to feel her love in return, there's a difference. All these years you protected Gwen because you knew she was too naive to navigate this world alone. You were her King, but you never used that to force yourself on her. You wanted her to come to you because she loved you, and she did. You are not a monster, my son. I have known a monster."'

Arthur's eyes dropped to his feet. "Father… did he ever-"

"Our marriage was difficult. He was a hard man, Arthur."

He looked at her. "Will I turn into him? I feel like my world is shattering."

"No, my son, you will never be your father's soon."

Arthur brushed his lips along Igraine's trembling cheek. "It's late mother. You need your rest and I need to think." Arthur walked his mother to the castle door. He watched her quickly ascended the stone stairs as he closed his eyes in despair.

Igraine's heart was heavy as tears blinded her vision. "Igraine."

Igraine signed as she turned to face Gorlois. She wasn't in the mood to deal with his complaints and observations about her beloved child. "Yes."

"Nimueh informed me about the vision she had of the servant Queen."

Igraine clenched her jaw in anger as despair faded into her mind.

"Her name is Guinevere, the future queen of Camelot. You are to address her as Guinevere until she is married to your sovereign," Igraine spat through gritted teeth. Gorlois had become tiresome and meddlesome. When he first came back her heart had allowed herself to reveal in the fantasy that they could have a second chance at love. It had taken her some time to reconcile herself the fact that he was no longer the gentle man that she had loved in her youth. Sometimes, she had a hard time believing he was the same man at all.

"My, so protective of the girl. Tell me Igraine, do you see yourself in the GUINEVERE?"

Igraine pinched her nose. She could feel a headache coming on. "I've grown tired tonight. Leave me, Gorlois."

Gorlois moved closer to Igraine. He traced a finger down her delicate neck. Igraine flinched as she found his touch sickly cold. "Yes, she has suffered at the hands of a powerful man like you. I still remember the night Arthur was conceived. Uther returned from war. He was desperate to bed you. He pulled you from the Council room, such an awful night."

Igraine's eyes lowered to hide her shock. Never, had Uther displayed such brutality in front of others. Uther had found her in her chamber that night, and he hadn't been to war, he had just returned from a hunting trip. Gorlois didn't even know he had returned until days later when he saw the bruises…

"Yes, it was a horrible night. Sleep well, Lord Lefay."

"Good night, milady."

Igraine's sapphire eyes darkened with mistrust as she watched Gorlois leave the Pendragon wing of the castle. Maybe the years away from Camelot had done something to change him and make him lose parts of his memories, still she couldn't shake the feeling that something else was going on with him. His swords felt hollow, his actions deceitful. Yes, something was wrong and once Gwen was safely back home she would find out just what was going on with her old love.

Leon watched as Morgana and Lancelot looked at the Druid Camp.

"I never thought we'd make it," said Morgana, moving her neck from side to side.

Lancelot moved closer and began rubbing her neck with his hand. Her skin felt warm and inviting. "And here I thought we got here in record time."

"Not yet. Catch me if you can," laughed Morgana, rushing into the camp.

"Morgana wait…" said Lancelot, the words dying in his throat. He turned to his friend. "Morgana will be Morgana."

Leon watched her go and grimaced. "That's what I am afraid of. Gwen's life is at stake. We have no time for Morgana's games."

Lancelot's smile faded. "Do you think that I have forgotten for one second the danger Gwen faces? I know you care for her, but she is my sister. Do not think for one minute that her welfare means more to you then it does to me."

Leon nodded. "I apologize. It is not _your_ dedication to this mission I question. I would never want you to feel the pain of losing a beloved sister. Yes, she's beloved by you in your gruff hands off manner. Still, don't understand why you pushed her towards Arthur. I would have never enough Elaine near a knight." Lancelot lowered his head at the mention of Elaine, a cold chill enclosed his heart.

Swiftly, Lancelot put a hand up. "Thank you for understanding," he said, ignoring Leon's obvious disapproval at his decision to keep his relationship with Gwen a secret. "But enough already about Morgana, let us concentrate on what's important - finding Gwen."

Lancelot galloped into town and Leon followed him. He looked around at the small brown and white cottages, the tall trees, the beautiful flowers of all colors that littered the land and the expansive hills that surrounded them and for the first time, Leon understood why Gwen and Merlin ran away to this place. It must be like living in a fairytale. He couldn't help but wonder if Gwen would not be better off here, safe from harm. When he looked in front of him, he saw that Lancelot and Morgana were talking to a talk golden hair woman. He rode to meet them.

"Nice of you to join us, Sir Leon," said Morgana tersely.

He ignored her as his eyes scanned for wild chocolate curls or lanky male figure. How was the witch, his first love?

"Now that you are all here, allow me to introduce myself. I am Morgause, High Priestess of this camp."

Morgana opened her mouth to speak, but Lancelot beat her to it. Morgana arched an eyebrow in Lancelot's direction. His concern for Gwen made him miss Morgana's displeasure, but Leon noticed Morgana's dark scowl. Lancelot was blinded by love; Morgana's impulsive, reckless self serving nature hadn't change.

"Greeting, High Priestess. I am Lancelot, this is Morgana and Leon. We are knights of Camelot in search of two of our citizens, Gwen and Merlin."

The woman smiled. "I know the two you seek. Welcome knights of Camelot. You have come just in time. Gwen was captured by Lord Morded. My husband, Edwin, went to rescue her. Hopefully, he will kill a few evil snakes."

Morgause and Camelot's knights walked towards the edge of the woods. Leon's keen eyes noticed a bright yellow creature tied to a tree limb, her tiny limbs failing hopelessly against the dark tree. A furious scowl twisted her pretty features. Quietly, Leon dropped to his knees.

"Can I be of assistance?"

"Stop talking and start releasing. I have a girl to rescue." Leon's fingers deftly untied Chloe. Chloe spun like a loom as she broke her of the magical rope. She placed a wet kiss on Leon's nose. "Come with me gentle giant. We don't have much time."

Arthur sat in the garden. His large hands cradle his dark blonde head. Guilt racked his mind. Darkness called for his soul. He struggled to manage his rage, but it felt like a losing battle. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her -bruised, battered, broken.

"Arthur Pendragon, snap out of it!"

Arthur's head whipped around. Who dared to speak to him in such a tone? His eyes could not focus on a man or woman. The voice was distinctly female.

"Yes, I spoke to you."

Arthur rose from the bench. He drew his sword as he scanned the perimeter.

"That sword will not work on me. Yes, Gwen will live. She will return to you this night, Arthur Pendragon. She needs you to walk the path of light. Prepare for her return. Remember, she requires love."

Arthur looked around in a state of confusion. Arthur's large body shook as he sought his mother.

Tatiana sat on a red rose bush. Arthur was her favorite grandchild. He would fulfill his destiny, even if she had to kill Balinor herself to make it happen


	9. Chapter 9

Warning: You are entering dark territory. This chapter contains violence against women and adult sexual situations. DO not read if you are not an adult in your country.

Gwen felt like she had been running for hours, maybe she had. The cave was so dark and every passage looked the same. She had no way of telling how long she had been there or if she was any closer to getting out. She fingered the bracelet that Tatiana had given her, gratefully. She was glad that she always wore it; it was her protection, her lucky charm. She had counted on it when she agreed to trade herself for Wesley and she used its' magical abilities to disappear the moment Morded turned his back. Too bad it couldn't transport her somewhere else. She flinched when she remembered how Morded how howled in anger when he couldn't find her, but he soon figured out she was still in the cave.

She panicked as she heard footsteps behind her.

"This has been fun, Pet," he said, his voice echoing through the chambers. "You are more resourceful than I could ever imagine, a worthy prize, but I'm sick of these games. I'm ready for the main attraction."

Gwen kept running.

Arthur felt hollow as he walked through a palace corridor; images of Gwen's battered body kept playing in his head. _What did that little gnat mean when she said that Gwen would be home tonight? Was it possible that the vision he saw in Gwen's home wasn't real, but a trick that Nimueh had played on him? _He grabbed his head, it was all too much. Gwen did not deserve to be hurt in any way and if what he saw was true, then she was being tortured by a monster and it was all his fault. He's supposed to protect her. He slammed his hand against a stone wall. He looked at his throbbing hand. It was bloody and battered.

_Good._

"Arthur?"

Arthur grunted. He was not in the mood for this. "What are you doing in this part of the castle Lenore? Are you following me now?"

Lenore smiled. "Don't be ridiculous. I was on my way to visit your mother."

Arthur eyed his former lover suspiciously. "My mother? What business do you have with her?"

"She invited me to tea. Your mother is a kind soul. She has seen how I have struggled the last few months. She is trying to help."

Arthur's heart began to race. Why would his mother care anything for Lenore, she wasn't the first noblewoman to fall on hard times? Maybe she aware of their friendship, although he had no reason to believe that she had even noticed. Mother would not understand his friendship with Lenore. Her focus had always been on keeping Gwen away from him. Maybe that was it, maybe his mother did know and she wanted to get information from Lenore to use against him when Gwen returned.

"Stay away from my mother. Stay out of my life!" he warned.

He would not have any more interference when it came to Gwen. There would be no more fireside chats with his mother where she could poison her mind against him. Gwen would know only what he told her, and he never planned on telling her about Lenore, and he dared anyone else too. Gwen made poor choices when she wasn't guided. Merlin was not strong or wise enough to temper their impulsive behavior. Both of them would be under his strict supervision when they returned. Battered Gwen and teary eyed Merlin floated in his mind.

Lenore moved closer. "Really Arthur, Why are you so angry with me all of a sudden? You know that I am the one person who is always on your side no matter what."

She reached for his hand and he flinched.

"What happened to your hand?"

"Nothing."

"Let me see it." She inspected it. "This wound needs binding."

He laughed. Which wound was she referring too? The one on his hand or the gapping one in his heart? She massaged his hand and he knew that he should it away, but he did not have the strength. For the first time in his life he felt weak.

"I'll tend to it myself," she said coyly, batting those beautiful eyelashes at him.

"What do you want Lenore?"

She put her hand on his chest. "What I always want, to help you feel better."

Guinevere ran, Morded's taunts following her as she went.

"Why are you being so reluctant to share your favors with me? I admire your devotion to Arthur, but do you really think that Arthur has not been with other women? He has allowed himself to enjoy the company of others, why do you deny yourself, what he never will? Did he sleep alone over the last three months? Over the last six years, Guinevere? He's a man."

Arthur did not know how he and Lenore ended up in this room. It was located in a little used part of the castle and he had been using it since he was thirteen to entertain his lady friends. He and Lenore had enjoyed its use a few times, in moments when his need for her was great and he knew he could not make it to her home. Those moments usually came as a result of Guinevere doing something to spark his desire and then running away. She's always running away from him. There was this one time when she came into the banquet hall to serve and kneeled over him in a beautiful purple dress that hugged her body in all the right places. As she poured his drink she looked at him with her sparkling eyes, warning him that he could look, but not touch; it drove him crazy. Gwen was too young at the time for what he craved, but in his young mind she was already his. It took everything he had not to grab her and take her on the table for all too see, so, Gwen and everyone in the kingdom, would realize that she was his, and his alone. It was the first time he had taken Lenore to his bed. He often wondered if Gwen knew her power of him, if she had any idea how she set him on fire with just a glance from those large almond eyes? That she had the power to make him lose control? The power to make him hurt so badly? She was always hurting him so badly. He tried not to be angry with her for her games, for her most recent abandonment, but he was. He was so angry sometimes that it scared him that one day he'd lose control.

"See, isn't that better," said Lenore, wrenching him away from his thoughts. He looked at his hand. She had sat him on the bed and took his hand, gently wrapping it with a bandage.

"Yes," he admitted.

She kissed his knuckles and her lips felt so soft against his skin. He was so grateful to feel something besides pain and loss. She kissed his lips and his mouth did not move. She tried it again and played with his lower lip, this time his body reacted and she smiled. She moved from where she was kneeling and placed herself on his lap, her legs straddling him. He kissed his Adam's apple this time and got the response she wanted. "Let me make it all better, Arthur."

In an instant he was kissing her greedily, this interloper who was invading a place that he had reserved for another. He didn't know if this was right, and at that moment he didn't care, he needed this, needed to be able to work off his emotions, to forget his pain and to just get lost. In this moment there was no guilt over his failures, just the pleasure that was washing over his body as she licked and bit her way across his entire body.

He shivered when she released him from his pants and began to stroke his manhood. He grabbed her by the waist and threw her on the bed, ripping her bodice so that he could get to her breast. She hissed when he bit down on them. Soon his hands had found their way beneath her dress and he ripped off what stood between him and her sex. He roughly shoved a finger inside. She was ready, so ready.

"That's right Arthur," said the voice that sounded all wrong in his ear. "Take me, I'm yours."

"I'm always yours."

Arthur stopped for the last voice did not belong to the interloper, the nobody, but to the woman he loved. Arthur paused in confusion. Gwen? She was back. She looked at him, her smiling face as beautiful as ever. That woman or whatever had been right. He didn't know how it was possible but she here and she wasn't hurt. She was in his arms where she belonged, wrapped in his love.

"I'm here, safe in your arms, forever," his love said.

Arthur looked at the woman below him. And suddenly it was not red hair he was running his hand through, but beautiful black curls, and not green eyes he was looking at, but wonderful, loving brown eyes. He captured her mouth again and whimpered as he took her.

She was almost free, she could feel it. She was following the wind, trusting it to lead her out and then she saw it - the exit to the cave. Perhaps, Merlin and Edwin would be outside. I need to make myself visible. She made her way there, but was stopped by two large hands.

"No! No!" she yelled, she couldn't believe that she had come this far, only to be caught now.

"You gave quite the chase their Pet. I knew you'd make it a challenge. I couldn't see you. I listened for puddle splashes, or trickling rocks or you're heaving breath."

She could hear him ripping the strings on her bodice, play times over."

He pulled her into him and sniffed her hair. "I'll make you forget all about Arthur."

He began nibbling at her neck and Gwen froze. She had to control her fear. She could beat him. She had to beat him. She had to get home to Arthur, where everything would be safe.

She turned around and smiled. "I thought that King's Arthur's pursuit was exciting, but when I see the lengths you have gone through to make me yours, it makes me wonder who the better man is."

Morded smiled.

She had told him exactly what he wanted to here. She moved in to kiss him and while she did, she picked up a rock and aimed for his head. But before she could deliver the blow he grabbed her hand and angrily smashed it in her hand till it broke into pieces. The pain was excruciating. Then he twisted her wrists hard for good measure, breaking her bracelet.

"That wasn't very smart Pet."

She spit on him. He licked the spit of his face with his tongue and then slapped her.

"You don't lie to me ever," he said shaking her. "I'll teach you to mind." He forced a harsh kiss upon her and lunging his tongue into her mouth. She grasped for air as he began to clumsily fumble her breast. He finally pulled away. "It's time Guinevere."

She calmly looked at him and took the shards of the rocks that were still in her hand and dug it into his face.

He howled in pain and let her go and she ran for her life.

"GUINEVERE! YOU COME BACK HERE YOU BITCH! GUINEVERE!"

"Gui..e..vere…" Arthur moaned," filling her with his seed. He had never done that before, he usually pulled out and made sure that all his royal juices made its way into the sheets. Not that it mattered, she couldn't have children - five miscarriages and a stillborn baby had seen to that. He was obviously caught up in some fantasy about his Little Lamb which would explain how gentle he was -at first. But when he opened her eyes and looked at her, really looked at her, the disgust and disappointment in his eyes was almost unbearable. She wanted to do something to make him want her again as his lover, not that child servant, this was her domain, and Gwen couldn't deal with side of Arthur. "Arthur, let me…"

He clamped his hand over her mouth.

Shut up!" he said harshly. "I do not wish to hear your voice. Just stay quiet, Lenore."

Lenore laid there in silence, humiliated that her body was being used as a substitute for another woman.

Gwen yelled as Morded grabbed the back of her hair. He roughly pulled her.

"You're going to pay for what you did back there. I'll beat the fire out of you!"

He threw her down on the ground and Gwen brought her hand to her face as Morded's fists came down on her.

Arthur pounded hard into Lenore; she shivered as the pain and pleasure mingled, but she dared not make a sound, dare not pull him out of his fantasy. She closed her eyes and dreamed of her dead husband. As she tried to forget, what she has become since his death.

Gwen was in so much pain that she could barely keep her eyes open. Every part of her body ached; she had trouble seeing out of one eye. She groaned as she felt his weight on top of her. She flailed her hands around, but it was useless, she heard him laugh as he pinned her arms over her head. He rolled her over and she could feel her legs being pulled apart.

"This was not how I imagined our first time making love together, Pet, but don't worry, we'll have plenty of times to get it right."

Gwen opened her mouth to scream, but she couldn't, not even when she heard a loud noise behind her, not even when Morded's eyes widened in shock and he fell over, not even when Freya was suddenly there seemingly out of nowhere, looking down on her.

She heard Freya say you're welcome as her world faded into black.

Arthur laid on his back, his companion long gone, and felt nothing but repulsion as he stared into the darkness. Guinevere would never know of his weakness this night. Lenore would be silent; he would fill her coffers. Never, would he lose his control again. He had everything to lose.

Author's note: We attempt to use Arthurian legend in our story. Morded kidnap and forced Gwen into a relationship. Arthur had an affair with Morgana because he thought she was Guinevere. So, we twisted a few things to meet our story.


	10. Chapter 10

Merlin's back and head still ached. How could she? What was Gwen thinking? I would have found a way to save Wesley. She didn't realize the extent of my power. Neither did I until I saw her battered body. My rage and pain finally caused me to focus my energies and use Edwin's and Freya's lessons. Suddenly, nature was in my control with a few words. My mind could open portals. My hand could throw magic balls from of deadly energy. Finally, I was in control. But I wasted so much time chasing Freya, running from my destiny, being blind to my true feelings.  
Merlin looked at his younger self flailing haplessly around and wondered how he could ever be so young and naive. His younger self thought that they could just storm into the caves like Knights of Camelot and rescue their fair maiden. He had no idea just who are what they were dealing with. His thoughts drifted back to a small girl with mountains of curls chasing him around Camelot. Her face covered in tears swirled in his mind. He thought of her enchanting laughter. Gwen was the only stable in his life. He would kill to protect. Twigs creaked as Merlin stomped towards himself. He needed younger Merlin to help him. The boy had to learn to be sensible responsible. He couldn't fall for the first girl with a pretty smile. His magic was too potent. He needed to force himself to grow. He brushed away a wet tear as he went to face himself. His eyes focused on a lover's moon. His mind formed a barrier around his emotions for Freya. He couldn't allow a delusion of love to make his emotions waver.

"Would you stop it?"

His younger self was still furiously thrashing his body around, trying to physically break the holding spell that his older self had put on him.

"Will you let me go," he said, his anger clearly rising, "I need to get to Gwen."

The older Merlin walked around him. "You have no idea what we are going to be facing in there, if it's anything like last time…"

"Last time, you didn't have me to help! Now let me go so that I can help you do what you risked everything to come in the past to do."

Older Merlin eyed him cautiously. If Merlin would just do what he he'd be an advantage against Freya and Morded. He relented and let him go.

"I know you think you can handle things in there Merlin, but the only way that Gwen can survive is if you do what I say."

Merlin nodded grimly and they went in the cave.

"Oh," he said, putting a hand on his chest. "Things are going to get ugly in there, mo matter what happens you have to stay calm, for Gwen's sake.

The first thing that Older Merlin noticed was the quiet. Before when he was here the cave was full of Freya and Morded's evil laughter. Freya was taunting Gwen, torturing her with magic, filling her head with images that played on her worst fears as Morded egged her on and now…

Maybe things had changed. Maybe Gwen… and that's when he saw her lying in the corner, with Freya leaning over her.

Freya looked at Gwen and felt nothing. When she came back to this cave it was to get her revenge on Morded for treating her like she was nothing, a servant who was meant only to service the whims of her lord and master. That she had saved Gwen for his lust was just a lucky coincidence for the girl.

She walked over to Morded, his eyes bugged out in horror.

"Do you like what you're seeing Love? The images of your mother and father? The images of your precious Gwen with the great King Arthur? The images of people bowing and scraping to the young king while everyone ignores your lineage? Yes," she said, reveling in his pain. "Feel my wrath and know that this is just the beginning."

Her laugh filled the entire cave.

Both Merlins stopped when they saw Freya and Morded. Older Merlin ran his fingers through his hair. This was definitely not how things went before. He watched Morded screeching in pain and smiled. It was the least he deserved. His younger self however, seemed to be squirming.

"What is she doing to him?" he asked.

"Delivering a little justice."

Merlin shook his head. "Not like this. Magic shouldn't be used like this."

"Says who?" his older self said. 

Freya turned around the moment that she sensed her guests. It would have taken a powerful essence to break her link with Morded and there was only one person who she knew was capable of it.

"Merlin," she purred tuning to look at him. She arched an eyebrow at the sight before her. "Merlins. Now things just got interesting."

Morded moaned loudly as she released him.

"Freya," both Merlins said.

Freya eyes the two and allowed her dark magic to flow through her body. "Hi," she said, as he unleashed a bolt of magic at them both.

Both Merlins hurled themselves out the way when they saw the bolt hurling towards them. Merlin looked at his older self who shook his head and said that he ok. Merlin watched Freya skip through another cavern, her laughter echoing through the cave walls. His older self got up to chase her, but Merlin's feet took him in the other direction. He crawled towards Gwen and gasped when he turned around and saw the extent of her injuries.

His older self was soon kneeling next to him.

"Is she… is she alive?" he asked his older self. His heart crumbling from unbearable agony of seeing Gwen's broken body.

His older self put his ear to her chest. "Barely."

"Oh Gods," he cried.

Older Merlin ran his hands over her head. He wished he could cry, but he had seen this all before.

"I am sorry that I failed you again," his older self said, brushing his lips on Gwen's forehead. He got up. "By the Gods, he's gone."

"Who?" Merlin asked, holding Gwen's hand in his.

"Morded."

"What?" said Merlin looking up, "how?"

"He must have just slipped out. I'll…"

Gwen let out a yell that sent his older self back to his side. Merlin watched the look in his older self's eyes and began to wonder…His older self's expression hardened as he stood.

"Stay with Gwen in case Morded comes back."

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"To find Freya."

Freya looked at the cave wall and smiled when he entered.

"Freya," he said in a voice she never heard before, filled with so much anger that it sent a delicious chill up her spine.

"Merlin. I've been waiting for you."

His footsteps came closer. "Where's Morded?" he asked.

"I do not know."

"LIAR! You and he were in on this together. You know him. You know where he'd go."

She smiled. "And if I did?"

"Then you will tell me."

"Why? Why does it matter so much? Gwen is safe. It's over."

She heard him grunt. "It's not over. It won't be over until I kill him."

Freya whirled around. "When I met you, you were a silly boy. Now look at you strong, determined, I like to think that I was responsible for that."

"In a way you were."

"So, I'm dying to know the story on the other Merlin. It's funny, but I can feel his psychic energy, in a way that I can't feel yours."

"My younger self was closer to you."

"Younger self? You're from the future?"

"Yes, I am from the near future, a future in which I tapped into my ultimate power thanks to Edwin and you. This Merlin did not have the benefit of that training he was too busy getting other types."

She licked her lips, his meaning crystal clear. "You would have enjoyed that more."

His expression darkened. "I doubt it."

Freya laughed. "So, there are two of you running around, that explains a lot. Which one of you is real?"

"We are two halves of the same whole. He's the beginning and I'm the end."

"Which one of you was mine?"

"Both."

She smirked. "Lucky me."

"Did you really want me…us?"

She moved closer to him. "You didn't come here to talk to me about our brief love affair. You came here to make me pay for what I did your precious Gwen."

"That's right."

"Why is that some women engender such protective feelings while others are nothing barely afterthoughts, just trifles to be used when it's convenient?"

"But you're not a woman Freya. You're not even human, remember?"

Freya moved closer. "I'm a goddess Merlin; I was forged in the very heart of dark magic. You must know that you can't beat me."

Merlin unleashed a magic bolt right over Freya's head, she grinned as a few rocks fell at her feet.

"That's new," she said.

"You don't know me Freya. I'm a different man who has lived a different life and you have no idea just how powerful I've become."

"I know that I broke your heart Merlin, but don't you think that this reaction is a little extreme?"

"I am a big boy Freya, your betrayal was hurtful, but nothing I could not get over in time. No, I am going to kill you for what you did to Gwen."

"If I didn't know better, I'd say that was the look of a man in love, but it can't be you look at Gwen as a sister, right? And even if you didn't you have to know that there is no way that you can compete with the gorgeous, powerful, virile King Arthur. He's got Gwen in the palm of his hands.

"You will not distract me from the task at hand with such talk."

"Don't I even get a thank you for saving your precious Gwen from Morded having his way with her?"

"Considering she wouldn't have been anywhere near Morded if you hadn't helped, I'd say no."

"Fine. But killing me will solve nothing. Morded is still out there; ready to reclaim your precious Gwen at any moment."

"When I'm done with you, I'll deal with him. This ends tonight Freya."

"The Merlin I know would never hurt me," Freya said confidently.

"I'm not the Merlin you know," he said, unleashing a blast of magic on her.

Merlin tried hard to keep his panic from rising anymore than it already was but he didn't know what to do. None of his spells were working, she was still unconscious. He closed his eyes and tried to heal her. He had seen Edwin do it, but he just wasn't strong enough. Maybe he just needed an extra bit of Magical help. Maybe if he and the other Merlin combined powers….

"Merlin," he cried out to his other self. "Gwen needs us!"

Freya could not believe the power that Merlin seemed to have. She had seemed glimmers of this before, but like all untapped potential she never could imagine its true potential. She had been attracted to Morded because he exuded power, but Merlin was power.

"You're good," she said, rising two large stoned and throwing at him. "Very good."

Freya gasped when the stones stopped in midair and crumpled. Merlin had destroyed it with his mind.

"You have no idea how good I am."

Freya focused her magic and sent it coursing through her veins, her hands became as powerful as any weapon and her punched sent him flying. "And you are in over your head."

She hunched over him and looked him in the eye and sent images flying at him, horrible images -the death of his mother, the loss of Gaius, the look on Gwen's face when they buried her parents, the look on Bernadette's face when he so callously broke it off…"

"You are so quick to judge me and to want to stone me for my sins but you are no innocent."

Bernadette's face looked at him accusingly.

"Don't like that image? How about this one?"

He turned his head and saw Gwen smiling.

"Gwen?" he croaked.

She came close to him, but she didn't stop, she walked right passed him into Arthur's waiting arms. They kissed passionately. "I love you Arthur," she said. "Only you forever."

Arthur smiled and scooped her up in his arms. "You belong to me Guinevere. Now and forever."

"Gwen!" Merlin said reaching for her.

Freya laughed. "Pathetic."

She got up and turned her back.

That was a mistake.

Merlin took the opportunity to zap her. She turned in surprised and when he zapped her again she barely managed to stop herself from falling back. The blows kept coming. She grabbed her ribs. His blows hurt and she wasn't sure how long she could withstand them.

"Merlin, Gwen needs us!"

The voice, his voice but not his voice, came barreling in through the cave. Merlin whipped his head around and Freya knew that she had the advantage. He turned to leave and Freya said an incantation and smiled as she watched Merlin fall back into the wall. Her spell had made him unable to move.

He was right; this was going to end tonight.

Merlin laid Gwen gently down on the ground. He was concerned that she hadn't opened her eyes yet, but she was breathing, that was something.

"You'll be safe her. I have to find Merlin." _No, I have to find me._ He shook his head. This whole other Merlin thing was always going to be weird. I came to the Druid village to become myself. Now, I have two of me.

Merlin looked at Freya without a hint of fear as she walked over to him.

"You know for a second there I actually thought that you were going to beat me."

Merlin laughed. "I already have Freya, the moment you chose to give into Morded and make yourself my enemy was the moment that you lost it all. Gave into Morded? You're as shortsighted as he is. Yes, I liked him, yes I was furious at the way he treated me because I thought that we had an understanding, but he was only a means to an end. There is a war coming Merlin, a war that is being lead by a man that you might have heard of -Balinor."

"Balinor? My father?"

"Yes. You know nothing about him, but I do. I know him well." She moved closer. "He left you alone because he wanted you to come to him, but he's tired of waiting. He's coming back Merlin and he won't stop this time until he wiped everything that you hold dear off the face of the earth. I know that you don't understand, but you will, oh you will." Freya ran a finger over his cheeks. "For one brief brilliant moment you were the center of my world. I loved you."

"I know. But you didn't want my love. You can't understand love."

She stepped back. "Maybe you're right. Maybe we were doomed from the start." Her eyes softened. "I'm really sorry about this," she said, unleashing a blast that made him feel as if his insides were burning.

Merlin screamed in horror as he saw his other self fall. He ran to him instantly.

"You're going to be ok," he said, cradling his older self.

"I know. We both are. I have done what I came here to do. Gwen is safe. Now it is time for the last part of my mission. Take my hand, repeat these words, and become who you were born to be."

Merlin touched his older self's hand and said the incantation. The hand in his began to feel less firm, almost like it was becoming energy and he bolted up when his body received a jolt.

Merlin stood still as the power of the universe swirled around him. His whole life and the memories of the other Merlin combined until there was just one past, one present, and one future. There was no younger Merlin or older Merlin, there was just Merlin. As he soaked in the energies around him, Merlin felt a stronger then he ever had in his life. He wasn't of magic, he was magic. He looked at Freya who had stepped back.

"I am Emery's," said Merlin, delivering a powerful blow of magic that knocked Freya to the ground. Merlin walked over to Freya and stood over her. He knew what he had to do and willed himself to overlook the fear in her eyes.

"You are destruction, chaos incarnate and you can no longer be allowed to wreck havoc."

"Merlin please."

"I'm sorry Freya," he said, lifting his arms. He was surprised to feel a tear as he felt the power of death flow through him.

"Merlin if you kill me you will be killing your child as well."

Merlin paled at the horror of her words.

Arthur hoped his face did not give away his utter shock when he saw Lenore crying at his mother's table.

"Isn't it a little late for tea?"

Lenore hid her face.

"Oh Arthur," said his mother, moving away from Lenore. You remember the Lady Oliander."

"Of course. It is nice to see you again Lenore."

Lenore dried her eyes. "Forgive me Sire I must look a mess."

"Nonsense," said his mother. "Lenore and I had a date for tea earlier, but she was detained."

Arthur coughed uncomfortably.

"Honey are you alright, you look a bit flushed?"

"I'm fine, it's just…"

His mother raised her arms. "You don't have to explain."

Arthur nodded. "Lenore."I hope all is well with you."

"Of course, Your Majesty."

Arthur nodded.

"I should go," she said, getting up.

"But you just got here."

"I'm sure the King has come here to see his mother and not me."

"That is correct," Arthur said bluntly. The last thing he wanted to see was her. He did not want to reminded of the mistake he made just a few hours ago.

"Arthur!"

"No, it is fine Your Majesty. It is a king's prerogative to treat his subjects anyway that he desires. Good evening."

Lenore bowed very low and left, brushing her hand against Arthur's. He clinched his jaw.

When he returned his mother was eying him suspiciously.

"Poor girl she has suffered a lot since Robert's death."

"Save your pity for someone who deserves it Mother. Lenore is nothing if not resourceful. "

"True it is a miracle that she has managed to survive so long without a husband. Robert was a good man but he made so many bad choices. I still remember the look on Lenore's face when the creditors came for her things. If I recall correctly you stepped in and help."

"No I didn't."

"Yes you did I remember it, she came by to thank you, she had on that beautiful green dress, it looked newly made, which I found strange given her money woos and the way she looked at you…"

'I said I do not know what you are talking about."

The blood drained out of his mother's face. "Come to think of it Lenore has been well looked after by someone all these years, she once joked to me that she had a secret benefactor or maybe she was not joking."

"Careful Mother."

"Oh Arthur, tell me that you haven't done what I think you have."

Arthur opened his mouth to speak, but stopped when he heard a noise. He looked at the corner. "I will speak no more about this, especially when we are being listened to by Glorios," he whirled the curtain open and pointed his sword- at a shivering young girl."

"Bernadette," said The Queen shocked. "What are you doing in these rooms?" 

"Isn't that obvious?" Arthur spat, "She's spying, and the only question is for whom."

"No, Your Majesties I swear. I am not spying for anyone. I was lost."

"Lost. You really expect me to believe that?"

"Yes, I was looking for a friend of mine, we were supposed to walk home, I thought that I saw her come into this room and when I came in and realized that I was in The Queen Mother's chambers I was going to leave immediately, but I heard her and The Lady Oliander enter. I panicked. I know that being in a Royals room without permission means. I feared that you'd flog me."

"I still might."

"So I thought I'd just hide. I meant no harm."

"Whether you meant harm or not you inflicted it. You eavesdropped on your Queen. The punishment for that must be severe."

"Please Your Majesty, Please have mercy on me."

"Bea?"

Arthur turned to see his idiot manservant coming his way.

"You know this girl?"

"Yes sir. She is my sister," Harry said.

"This is your sister? You a member of the royal household have allowed your sister to invade my mother's rooms? I should have her jailed and dismiss you immediately."

"Please don't sir," shrieked the girl. "Do with me what you will but my brother is innocent." She threw herself at his feet.

He looked down and was shocked to see a pair of beautiful ribbons in her hair. He knew those ribbons. They had haunted his dreams for weeks.

"Where did you get these from?" he asked, snatching of off her hair and shoving them in her face. His anger at the thought of someone stealing something of hers was threatening to overtake him.

"From Gwen Your Majesty," she said in terror. "She gave them to me before she left."

"Bea and Gwen are good friends, Sire," said Harry.

Arthur felt his mother's hand on his arm. "Have mercy on the young girl. For Gwen's sake, they are friends. She would not forgive your cruelty."

Arthur took a deep breath and clutched Gwen's ribbons in his hand. "If you ever enter The Royal Chambers again without permission you will be severely punished do you understand me? Now go."

"Go where?" Harry asked.

"Out of my sight!"

"Thank you Sire, thank you, thank you."

Arthur's face remained in a scowl as they thanked and bowed their way out the door.

Harry stared at his sister with a mixture of disappointment and anger. What could she be thinking sneaking into The Queen Mother's chambers like that? She's lucky that the King didn't order her flogged, jailed, or worse put in the stocks for a week.

"I can't believe you, humiliating me in front of my master like that."

"I'm sorry Harry, really I am."

"Sorry? What if he would have dismissed me? You know how close we came to starving last winter and with the new winter slowly making its way upon us…"

"I know, I know."

"How would we take care of Mother with no wages?"

His sister hung her head. "I did not mean to bring shame to you or to endanger our family."

"What did you think you were doing eavesdropping on The King and Queen Mother like that?"

"I wasn't …. I had come to find Belua. She said that her mistress had news about Sir Leon."

Harry shook his head. Sir Leon, for as long as he could remember, his sister had been in love with one bloke after another. Now she thought she was in love with the tall, blonde knight. Well at least he was better than that idiot Merlin.

"I hear that Gwen is in The Druid Camp. It's a place full of danger and magic. Who knows what they have run into or if they really will return?"

"But he will! I can feel it."

Harry rolled his eyes. _She can feel it? Really! His lithe sister was full of mischief and nonsensical ramblings tonight._

"Sir Leon," he said in disgust. "When are you going to get it through your head that Leon Du Nobley doesn't like you? He doesn't even know that you're alive."

His sister looked at him with sad eyes. "Don't you think I know that? But just because he doesn't care about me, doesn't mean that I can't care about him."

Harry put his hand on his sister's shoulder. He hated to be so harsh with her, but he was the man of the house now and it was his job to look out for his mother and sisters. "Let's go home. Mother needs us."

"You're not mad anymore?"

"Who can stay mad at you? Let's go before The King changes his mind."

Merlin didn't believe what he was hearing. Freya was pregnant with his child? No, it was another lie to trick him into sparing her miserable life. It doesn't matter. She's evil, the world would be better without Freya. Did she hesitant to kill me?

"It's true Merlin. There is life growing inside me. I can feel it."

"If there is life inside you then how do I know that I put it there? It's not afraid of you?"

Freya laughed. "I guess you'll just have to take my word for it."

Merlin's eyes glowed with power. "That will be the day," he said, raising his hands to end this.

"I know that you don't trust me, but what if I am telling the truth. Can you really take that chance?"

Merlin lowered his hands. He couldn't.

Freya smiled. "Your daughter and I will be waiting for you when you are ready," she said.

Merlin stood in shock as she murmured an incantation underneath her breath and vanished in a puff of black smoke.

Lancelot followed Edwin as he led him, Leon and Morgana into a very large cave. At first when they ran into this mysterious man t hey did not trust him. But he claimed to be the wife of The Druid Priestess that they met earlier and he claimed that he had gotten a "psychic scent" of Gwen that he was following.

"It's no wonder that Morded was able to hide here for so long. These caves are in the forbidden woods, no one with any sense would dare enter here. There are things here that no one, man or magic should encounter gateways to worlds that should never be open."

Lancelot stopped listening. He didn't care about all this magic crap, all he cared about was finding his sister safe and sound and making Morded pay. They rounded a corner and Lancelot saw something that horrified him. He yelled out his sister's name as he saw her lying, still on the ground. He turned her over and was horrified by what he saw.

Morgana moved to comfort him, but he pushed her away, clutching his sister to him. Leon stood there saying nothing. He looked up as he saw Merlin coming towards him.

"What happened here?" he demanded.

"Morded." Merlin's lifeless eyes mirrored Lancelot's devastation.

Lancelot shook with anger. "I will kill him."

Leon put a hand on his shoulder. "Stand in line."

Edwin kneeled down toward Gwen and closed his eyes; he mumbled something as he took her hand. "Her spirit is strong."

"Will, she awakened?" Lancelot murmured softly as he cradled Gwen's lifeless body in his arms, his hands brushing her curls from her damp brow. "Merlin, will she make up? Is she gone?"

"She'll awaken. She's strong." Edwin turned a somber gaze on Leon. "She belongs in Camelot. She can heal there."

"Yes, Arthur will take care of her," Merlin reluctantly admitted," I couldn't see past my own needs to protect her. With all of my gifts, my eyes remained closed to evil lurking around us."

Lancelot gently transferred Gwen to Leon's waiting arms. He bit in his lip in frustration as he struggled to not shut his eyes to visualize the damage committed against Gwen. Gently, Leon cradled Gwen like a newborn infant in his arms.

Merlin led everyone out of the cave and into the forest. Very little was said. Everyone's thoughts were with Gwen, his included although he was also consumed with the things that Freya said to him. _Could his father really be alive? Is Freya really carrying his child?"_

He watched as Morgause, Edwin and the newly healed Wesley exchanged hugs.

"Morgause, Edwin, and Wesley, I will need you in Camelot. If Freya is right about Balinor it will take our combined strength to defeat him. "

Edwin clasped his wife and son's hand as he nodded in acknowledgement of Merlin's request. Merlin watched cautiously as Leon walked carefully, clutching Gwen in his arms. Morgause trailed behind holding Wesley close to her heart. Edwin hesitant for a moment, his brown eyes searched Merlin's face.

"Today, you became Emrys, Merlin. Gaius and Hunith would be proud."

Tears dripped down Merlin's face. "I would give it all up to keep her safe."

Edwin's eyes softened as he realized the depth of Merlin's feelings for Gwen and the possible complications that could arise from those feelings. Quietly, he walked a few steps forward." Morded and Freya may have escaped us today, but we will have are revenge Merlin."

"Yes," Merlin spat. "We will."

Morgana shivered as hate flicked in Merlin's eyes. She expected tears of horror from Merlin, instead she found a dangerously controlled young man. Hate swirled around his trim form. Merlin was not a lanky boy any longer. His figure was defined by muscle, his features defined in a lean angular face. His eyes were so cold. Leon was cool, steady, and calm Never, had she seen Leon so controlled of his emotions, but Lancelot, her love filled her with disappointed. She doubted her eyes for a moment when Lancelot fell to his knees. Tears falling like a river as he viewed Gwen's broken body. Really, he's killed men without hesitation, but his sister bruised body brought him to tears.

"This is where I opened the portal up before, it should work," Merlin said.

Edwin nodded. "Morgause and I will say the words Merlin."

Morgana watched in awe as the three mouthed incantations and a large portal appeared before them.

"Lancelot and I will stay behind," said Morgana. Leon eyed them skeptically. "To find Morded."

Lancelot nodded.

"It is time," said Merlin, ushering Leon and the others towards his portal of fire and magic. Morgana watched everyone walk through the portal. Leon stopped to wish them luck.

"We will be home soon with news that the monster is burning in hell," said Lancelot, his voice full of emotion as he pulled Morgana to him. Morgana looked straight and quickly extracted herself from Lancelot's touch. Morgana hated weakness, especially in men. Disdain was born in her heart for Lancelot as a lover's moon glowed on them.

Arthur did not want to be having this conversation, but his mother was insistent. She stood in front of him, hands on her hips, scolding him like he was a child in his bedroom and not a king in his throne room.

"Tell me that there is nothing between you and that woman."

Arthur didn't respond.

"I had heard rumors, but I never imagined they were true."

"Mother, don't excite yourself over nothing."

"You are just like your father. He had mistresses too."

"Considering how cold your bed must have been I am not surprised."

Igraine walked towards her son. She would not be disrespected in this manner by him.

"Your father had a cold bed for a reason!" she spat.

"Like what?'

Igraine was so angry with Arthur; it was on the tip of her tongue to tell him about his conception. Her son needed to relearn compassion and understanding.

"Igraine, don't do it.," said a voice, gentle and strangely familiar. Her blue eyes looked around the chamber for Gorlois, but she did not see him.

She refocused her attention on her son. "Mother, I'm waiting. What did father do?"

"Have you forgotten the abuse that you suffered at his hands? Slaps for spilling milk or bad posture? He had slaps for everyone." she spat.

"Father was not the warmest of men, but he was raising a prince, a king of Albion."

"Arthur, adultery hurts every one that is involved," she said. _Her mind floated to a warm night filled with blooming rose, a full moon shining on his golden skin as her fingers dug in his back. She remembered his lips suckling her nipples, the moans that slipped from her lips. "Gorlois", a soft sign from her lips as she felt pleasure building._

"Be careful Arthur. You are playing with fire. It is one thing for her to imagine you with a slattern or if she knew of these dalliances beforehand, but Gwen has no idea about Lenore. It will be a terrible shock. If she were to find out…"

"Enough Mother!" her son yelled.

But it wasn't enough. Arthur had to know that.

Their fight was halted as a large humming noise began to ring in the room. Arthur stood rooted in his spot as a bright light began to grow larger in the room. The ground shook and to Arthur's disbelief, five figures stepped out. He did not get a good look at any of them, save one, who was coming towards him, carrying the most precious of treasures in his arms, wrapped in a blanket. Her chest rose quietly as Leon held her tenderly. Leon moved closer and placed his Guinevere in his arms. He closed his eyes in thanksgiving, which quickly gave way to fear as he looked at her still form. His blue eyes harden as he saw the results of Morded's treachery. Carefully, he shield Gwen in his arms and for the first time in months he exhaled.


	11. Chapter 11

Igraine took a deep breath as she turned the handle to her former chamber. She watched Arthur enter and gently lower Gwen to the soft bed. Slowly, he removed the blanket covering her face. Her horrified gasps floated around the room. Her slender body trembled in despair. Igraine's mind began to fade to another dark night.

"_Stop crying," he demanded. "Stop crying right now!"_

She pressed her lips together to draw on her fragile inner strength. _I can do this. I know how to do this._

Igraine moved to take a look at her sweet girl, but Arthur blocked her.

"We are alright Mother, you can go."

Igraine felt her son's pain. "I'm not going anywhere Arthur. You need me. Gwen needs me."

Her son did not respond.

She moved towards him and flinched when the door came open. Arthur spun angrily.

"Who would dare…?" he furiously demanded.

"My apologies Arthur, but there is an urgent matter that needs your attendance." Leon nodded in acknowledge to his queen as he strode silently into the brightly lit room.

"There is no matter more urgent then this," said her son not taking her eyes of Gwen.

Leon moved closer. "There is a messenger from Ariya. He claims to know where Lord Morded is."

Her son jumped up immediately.

Igraine stepped closer to Arthur. "Arthur that is not important now. Gwen needs you. She needs your love. Do not give into your thirst for revenge…"

"I'll be there right away," he son said, ignoring her.

Leon nodded and gave Igraine a sympathetic look as he left.

Arthur leaned down and kissed Gwen's forehead. "I'll be back soon, rest well."

Igraine smiled at her son reassuringly. "I'll sit with her while you're gone."

"No."

"What?"

"I do not want anyone near Gwen."

"Arthur surely you can't mean …"

"I said no. Mother."

Igraine shot Arthur a venomous look. Her hands slowly moved to her waist. A blonde eyebrow arched in defiance. "You might rule everyone else in this kingdom. You might control all of Albion one day. But, you will not come between Guinevere and me. I protected for 15 years before you bother to look in her direction. I soothed her tears. I rubbed her back. I saved her from being torn from her mother's arm. Don't you dare tell me about Guinevere?"

Arthur got up and looked at her. "Mother, I know that you care for Guinevere but I need to…"

She put up a hand. She did not want to hear it. "Go handle your revenge."

Merlin watched Arthur go and slowly entered the chamber. He smiled as The Queen sat next to her bedside holding her hand and gently humming.

"I am so sorry, Gwen. If I had knows that this would have happened I never would have given you those coins."

"It's not your fault," said Merlin.

The Queen turned around when she saw him.

"Merlin," she said, offering her hand. "Thank the gods."

Merlin took her soft hand and kissed it. "Your Majesty." He bowed and walked over to Gwen's bedside. His body tensed in anger as she let out small, painful noises.

"You've changed Merlin," said The Queen eyeing in intently. "I can see it in your eyes and in the way that you carry yourself."

"It has been a very difficult summer."

She felt The Queen's hand on his arm. "You did what you thought was best at the time."

He dipped his head.

"Your Majesty, would it be possible if I could be alone with her for a moment."

The Queen Mother didn't answer. He knew what she was thinking.

"I know that The King might object…"

"The King is not himself Merlin. Gwen's ordeal has hurt him deeply. He feels that he has let her down and that he must protect her for everyone, even those who love her. He is being possessive and irrational."

Merlin smirked. Sounded like the same old Arthur to him. He knew that he had no argument that could make The Queen see his side of her sons' so he decided not to argue.

"Please."

She smiled. "Just keep it brief, I do not know how Arthur will react to seeing you again when he is this raw. I feel that you are the perfect scapegoat for his rage."

Arthur's rage continued to build as he chocked the Ariyan merchant. Leon was grabbing at his arm, trying to reason with him, while the Ariyan bounty hunter who brought him, a dark man in stood smiling.

"So, Lord Morded came to you about the papers you forged for Gwen so that she could leave Camelot and you were only two happy to tell him all about it and give him the name of all the check points you sent her too. I also understand that you even offered information about the trip that you overheard them discussing when you were eavesdropping on them like a filthy rat."

"I …am sorry…Sire…I had no idea…"

"What? That Gwen was my woman? You are a liar. Everyone in Camelot knew that."

"I knew she was yours but…"

"But what? You did not care? You decided to betray your Sovereign anyway?"

"I…I…made a mistake. Pl….please…forgive me I have a family."

"You HAD a family."

All the blood drained from the man's face. He began begging even harder, he was even crying, begging mercy, begging that Arthur did not hurt his family.

Arthur smiled. He had no intentions of touching the man's family, but he would never know that, he would suffer believing that his betrayal had doomed his family. He would know what it felt like to have someone take his meaning for living from him.

"Please My Lord," he said, "This is not helping."

Arthur gave one more squeeze and let the man go. He fell on the ground, red-faced, grasping for air. "He beckoned two of his guards.

"Take him to the dungeons. I think a few days of flogging will do him some good. I will be there soon." Arthur leaned over the man. "We'll see how much help you are to Your Lord, without your arms to pass him information."

The man started shaking. "Please Your Majesty!" he yelled as the guards dragged him out the door. "I KNOW PEOPLE WHO KNOW LORD MORDERED! CAN HELP YOU FIND HIM! I CAN…"

The door slammed shut.

The Ariyan bounty hunter cleared his throat. "It gives me pleasure to be able to help you milord, even though I did it at much danger to myself. Giliam had taken refuge in Odin's territory. Going there was deadly. Lord Morded is a dangerous foe."

"See the guard in the front. He will give you your reward."

The dark man nodded and exited.

"Was that really necessary?" Leon asked, clearly troubled by his outburst.

Arthur looked at Leon. "No one will use what happened to Guinevere to try and trick me," he warned his voice dangerously low.

"Arthur," Leon began, "I know how you feel."

"YOU DO NOT KNOW HOW I FEEL!" he screamed, kicking the chair in front of him. "Have you seen her? Do you know what that animal did to her?"

"Arthur this isn't your fault."

"Yes it is. I did not make it clear that Guinevere was under my protection. I did not claim her all those years again when she first caught my eye as was my right. Instead, I let her flutter around and let others think that she was a temporary fixation and not the woman who I would have by my side for life. I left doubt of her importance to me and that allowed Morded to creep in. But do not worry. I am going to find Morded and I am going to unleash such a wave of suffering on him and all who has helped him or all who has ever mattered to him, that NO ONE will dare even think about touching what's mine again."

Leon exhaled deeply as he gritted his teeth. "She's not a doll, Arthur. You can't keep her locked away in her chamber. You'll destroy Gwen. She wouldn't want you to torture people in her name."

"You don't understand."

"I understand. Elaine, my sister, the light in my world died. I know suffering, Arthur Pendragon. You aren't the only person in Albion to feel pain."

"I know your grief over Elaine…"

"If you love and cherish Gwen, stay away from Lenore," Leon spat.

Arthur paled as Leon's steady gaze raked over his soul. "You know nothing of what you speak."

Leon folded his arms tersely. Lenore wears a particular scent. Husky, sensual, and alluring. You reeked of it. I saw a red hair on the back of your tunic."

Arthur swallowed. "You don't..."

"Understand this; Guinevere won't be hurt by you."

"I would kill another man for speaking to me like this."

"Then, you would kill a good man to assuage your guilt."

Leon stormed away.

Merlin sat by Gwen's bed and took her hand. It pained him to see her lying so still like this. Every so often, she would twitch and clutched her sheets; small beads of sweat dampened her lovely face. Merlin reached over and placed a calming hand on her mind. Merlin flinched as he was unwittingly bombarded with images of Gwen's encounter with Morded. He wished her had the power to cleanse her mind. Free her of those terrible memories. How did this happen? How did he fall in love with his best friend? The future wife of the supposed other half of his soul, the woman that he could never have. His heart leapt as her eyes slowly fluttered opened. Sleepily, she murmured his name. He leaned closer. "Where have you been?" she asked.

Her eyes shut slowly as sleep reclaimed her.

Merlin brushed a kiss along her hand.

_I will not cause chaos in your life. I will hide my feelings. Find another. I'll search for Freya and my baby._

"I'm going to be a father. I'm having a child with Freya. She's chaos. Will my child be destruction? No, I need to find her and save my baby. My child will have a father.

"Gwen," he said. "I'm going to make it all better. I promise."

Aredian had no idea what he was doing here. When that stupid Henry showed up at his door to tell him that the king's whore had returned and needed his help he almost slammed the door in his face. If the King required his services surely he would have come to get him personally. He was not going to come but his new assistant Kylar could not stop mumbling about how she was the King's fiancée and that if he healed her; the King would always be in his debt. He couldn't contain his laughter. He did not believe for one second that a king of Arthur's caliber would take a slattern serving wench as a bride. Those were rumors spread by stupid peasants and jealous nobles who wished to disparage The King's reputation. But he had to admit The King had a fondness for her, he had seen it for himself when the little idiot had managed to burn herself. There may be a reward in this after all.

He walked into The Queen's Chamber, shocked that The Queen Mother had actually allowed the girl to lay in her bed. She was too indulgent with that little girl. His former idiot of an assistant was sitting by her bedside, holding her hand. He looked like a lovesick boy.

What was it about this plain little girl that was so intriguing? Maybe when the King was done with her, he'd find out. He moved to the bed and pushed Merlin out the way.

"Move boy, I've got work to do."

Arthur took a deep breath as his hand gripped Gwen's door. He had left her side for only a moment to take care of that unpleasant business with the traitor, but he knew that his mother would take good care of her. He prayed that she had not woken up while he was gone. It was not that he doubted his Mother's love for Gwen; it's just that his mother could not be trusted alone with her. After all, was it not his mother's influence that had sent her running away in the first place?

_No, Gwen was in to fragile a state to see anyone but him._

He smelled himself again, for some reason, despite five baths that had Henry worried for his sanity, he did not feel as if he had gotten Lenore's stink off him. He wasn't sure why he was feeling so guilty about what happened between him and Lenore; he never had in the past. Granted, Gwen was not his lover during his liaison with Lenore, but he knew how naive Gwen was, it would never occur to her that he was whispering words of devotion to her, while appeasing his frustrations elsewhere. Maybe it was seeing her and knowing that while she was suffering at the hands of that monster he was enjoying comfort from another woman. It meant nothing to him, just a way to work out some of his frustrations and to imagine that he was closer to her_. _

_Would she see it as a betrayal?_ _Yes, she'd never understand. Gwen could never know. _

Gwen opened her eyes and tried to focus as a tall figure came towards her holding a knife.

"Calm yourself," said the cold voice. "Just stay still and it will be over soon."

The voice sounded familiar but she couldn't focus, couldn't place it.

She was scared.

"Don't do that, she's scared," came a voice that she did recognize.

"Shut up boy, I'm in charge here."

The figure moved closer to her and she began to panic. She began to scream.

"ARTHUR HELP ME!"

The figure let out a disgusted snort and grabbed her arm.

"ARTHUR PLEASE!"

_Where was Arthur? Why wasn't he here? Where was she? Why was everything going black? Arthur please…._

Merlin was too busy trying to pull Aredian away from Gwen to notice that Arthur had practically broken down the door and had pointed his sword at him.

"Step away from her," he ordered his voice low and serious. He did not take his eyes off them as he moved to check on Gwen who was now thrashing in her bed. "What did you do to her? TELL ME!"

"Nothing Sire," said Aredian.

"She was yelling for me to help her."

"The girl is agitated, which is to expected given her injuries."

"What is that in your hand?"

"It is a knife sire. I was only going to drain a little blood to do some tests, but Merlin was here and would not let me."

"She was upset," said Merlin. "She did not want you anywhere near her."

"She is a sick girl, she needs my help."

"If Guinevere does not wish you to touch her, then you will not touch her," said Arthur lowering his sword.

"But Sire, how am I to treat her if I cannot touch her."

He moved back towards Gwen, but stopped when Arthur raised his sword again.

"You tell me what you need and I'll do it."

Aredian looked at Arthur. "With all due respect sire, I cannot work that way. If you want me to help the girl you must allow me to go near her."

"I can heal her," Merlin said.

Aredian laughed. "Honestly, this is crazy. Neither you nor Merlin are physicians. I can tell just by looking at her that her humors are off. I need to take some blood and…"

Aredian moved to touch her again, but Arthur grabbed his hand.

"I said do not touch her."

"Then, how do you suppose your precious whore will be healed? Frankly, sire this is becoming tiresome, if the stupid girl would have stood still for just one moment I would have been able to begin healing her by now."

Aredian yelped as Arthur grabbed him by the neck and pushed him against the bedroom wall. "NO ONE TALKS ABOUT MY WIFE THAT WAY DO YOU HERE ME?"

Merlin looked at Arthur. _Wife? Gwen wasn't his wife -not yet, and hopefully not ever._

"My ….apologies…sire," Aredian managed, his face turning red. "I had no idea that the girl meant so much to you…how could I she just a serv…."

Arthur squeezed harder, stopping Aredian from speaking any more. "Disrespect against my queen will not be tolerated in this Kingdom. I would kill you, but you are a relation to Odin, albeit an illegitimate one, and I do not wish to have problems with him over the likes of you, but you are banished."

"Banished…please…. I have…no…where….to go…"

"That is not my concern. Just make sure that you are gone by nightfall," Arthur said, grabbing Aredian and shoving him out the door. The door slammed shut and when Arthur whirled around he looked like a mass of barely contained rage.

"And you…" he began through gritted teeth.

Gwen moaned and both he and Arthur winced at her pain. Merlin could not help but wonder what was happening to him. He had known Gwen all his life and he had always regarded her as a sister. Did the time in the Druid Camp change that, or was it merging with a future self who had come to love Gwen as a woman? It didn't matter all that matter was that he had these feelings now and he had to figure out just what he wanted to do with them.

"I want to be alone with Guinevere," said Arthur not looking at him.

"But Gwen needs me," he protested.

The look Arthur gave him sent chills up his spine.

"I can heal her," he said, trying to get through to Arthur.

Arthur shot him a skeptical look. "How?"

"Through magic."

"Do it."

Merlin moved to touch Gwen and Arthur grabbed his shoulder.

"I have to make physical contact for the spell to work."

The King looked at Gwen, then back at him and let go of his shoulder.

He had never tried magic on this scale before. He hoped it would work, not only for Gwen's sake, but for his own. He'd hate to see what Arthur would do to him if he failed.

Merlin took both of Gwen's hand and let his feelings of love and hope flow into her. He could feel all his emotions flowing into her and could see their time together from when they were children. He wanted to cry, but he dare not show any emotions in front of Arthur.

Arthur's mouth dropped open when he saw all of Gwen's bruises disappear; the jagged curls on her hair grew out until her hair was once again full of long, glorious locks. Arthur made a loud sultry groan.

_Really, Arthur? Do you truly love her or is it lust? A groan because her beauty is restored._

Merlin kept his reaction to seeing Gwen's beauty restored to himself.

"She'll need a few days to completely recover," he said, trying to keep his voice neutral.

Arthur nodded. "Leave us. I will call on you soon. The King and Emrys need to have a talk."

Merlin's eyes widened. When they were in the Druid Camp Morgause told him that she could tap into Arthur's thoughts and that he was no longer interested in what he could do for him as Emrys. He also told him that he was going to be different with Gwen, but from what he could see, he was as controlling as ever. What changed? Reluctantly he let go of Gwen's hand.

"Merlin you are not to stay in Gwen's old home. You never belonged there. I have set aside a room for you in the castle in the servants' wing."

Merlin nodded and walked towards the door.

"I have my own place to live. I'm not longer a servant."

Arthur eyed him carefully.

He felt empty as he watched Arthur take his place by Gwen's side.

Morgana loved hunting down her prey. There was nothing like the rush of tracking down a rabid animal and putting it down. Morded had proven to be a particularly challenging quarry. But no one escaped her and now she was looking at spotted a red mark on a flower bed on wild white flowers. Her hands brushed across the petals. The blood was warm to her touch. Morded was close by. He had made it farther then she could ever imagined and he she marveled at his ability to persuade so many people to help him. The last peasant in particular could not stop shaking as he recounted to her and Lancelot how he "gave" Morded his horse. When she told Lancelot how much she admired Morded's abilities of persuasion he looked at her disapprovingly. Her eyes scanned the dense woods. Leon had gone back to Camelot. Lancelot headed west. At first, Lancelot wanted then to comb the area as a pair. She declined. She needed time away from Lancelot. She couldn't deal with his whining about Gwen. It wasn't like she was dead. She would recover and she would be a better person form her ordeal. Finally, she might be a woman, instead of whiny, silly young girl. However, did Arthur stand her immaturity? She always believed that Arthur would prefer a mature lady like Lenore. Arthur was a fool not to realize that she and all the nobles knew about his illicit dalliance with the beautiful widow, though Leon and Lancelot seemed to believe it was a brief and insignificant acquaintance.

Morgana had known Arthur most of his life and he was still a mystery to her. _How could his desire range from seducing young girls to reveling in Lenore's bed?_ Not that it was her concern. He was a king and it was his right to bed whomever he pleased, that is why she'd never tie herself down to man, she could never abide being at the mercy of a husband's whims and appetites. Morgana's head spun as she heard a noise. Her cool green eyes noticed a branch flipping back and forth. A smirk graced her beautiful face. A windless night, Yes, Lord Morded will meet his end this night at my hands and Arthur would be in her debt forever. Morgana's strong hand clasped her sharp sword as stealthy she traced Morded's path.

Morded stood in the middle of the woods and his large hand traced the large scar on his face. _Gwen merely gave him a love mark, a memory of their time together._ He smiled darkly. His pet was full of fire. He felt a twinge of regret for the way he handled Gwen's betrayal. He hoped she knew he would have never hurt her if she had just done what she was told. No matter, he would make it up to her. Yes, he would recover Gwen from Pendragon's clutches. He just had to wait for an opportune moment. Morded's tongue traced his lips anticipation. Once he recaptured her hew would finally take her to his bed. He would show her new heights of ecstasy and pain. He'd have her right now if it wasn't for Freya. She would pay for her negligence. He could trust her to complete any task. She was worth nothing`. He needed a new helper and she was quickly approaching.

Morded's darkly handsome face gleamed in the moonlight. A dark rag soaked with Gwen's blood was tucked safely away in his pocket. Gods, how he missed her already. Morded thrived on his pain. It made him feel alive. He stood calmly watching Morgana approached with her sword drawn. A terrible scowl decorated her beautiful face. He could see needy embed in those glorious green eyes. A slight smirk rested on his wide mouth.

"Good Evening, Lady Morgana."

He had felt the unrest in Lady Morgana's soul that day they met in Camelot. He could see that she was a lonely little girl. Her burning need for acceptance would be her downfall, as well as her inability to sense when she was in the presence of real evil. Or was it her attraction to dangerous men that would get her in the end?

"Nothing is good about this evening, Morded," Morgana spat angrily as she approached him.

"Of course, you're here to kill me at your King's bidding."

"You committed a crime against a young innocent girl."

Morded laughed. "Innocent, come now, she's the mistress of a powerful king. Let's stop calling her innocent."

Morgana arched an eyebrow in Morded's direction.

"Have you ever questioned of her naiveté. She led Arthur on a mighty chase over these years. She has brought a great king to his knees with love. That's not the work of some innocent cub, but of a tigress that will stop at nothing to get what she wants. Why should you have to suffer because Arthur is dumb enough to fall under her spell?"

Morgana breathed heavily as Morded' hypnotic words filled her eyes.

"You should be on the battlefield conquering Albion. Instead, Pendragon sent you here in the middle of nowhere to retrieve his lover. Why isn't he here? Or does he feel such a mission was beneath him? Or maybe he can no longer trust himself in battle."

"Shut up!" Morgana arms tired from gripping her sword.

Slowly, Morded began pacing in a death circle.

"Have you not had the same thought, milady? Arthur has grown weak over a servant girl."

"It's his life."

"No, his choices affect you. His mind and desires affect your desire to fight in battles. Do you not dream of impaling me on your sword? Do you not feel a rush of power?"

"Yes, but I'm sure I'm not the first to revel in such a dream."

Morded laughed. "You and I are alike Morgana."

"Don't flatter yourself. You are an animal with no honor; I am a Knight of Camelot's Roundtable. We have nothing in common."

"We both like power? Yes, you do, Morgana, you can't deny it. Arthur is losing his grip. He is no longer the strong King who promised you that you'd be at his side when he united Albion. Perhaps a new ruler needs to step up in Camelot and do what King Arthur is too love sick to do."

Morgana laughed. "You perhaps? It won't happen. The Pendragons have ruled Camelot for hundreds of years."

Morded's smile widened. "Yes, we have."

"We? What are you…?"

"Arthur is going to marry Gwen. He's going to fill her belly with an heir. He won't want to leave her side. She'll have complete control over him and where will that leave you? Gwen will not want a female rival for Arthur's affections, sister or not. He'll convince him to marry you off. You'll be forced to leave the knighthood, forced to submit a husband that you won't even be allowed to choose."

"No," she whispered. "Arthur would never do that to me."

"Arthur has no use for any woman who is not in his bed, he keeps you around as a novelty, and he will grow tired of you, and then discard you. You can wait for that to happen or you could join me?"

"In your grand plan to rule Albion?" she mocked.

"I know your worth Morgana. Leave Arthur and his simpering knights and take your place at my side. "

"No," she said, her sword suddenly shaking. "I am going to kill you."

He moved forward and walked right to the tip of the blade. "Then do it. Run this sword through my chest. Take my head to your King as proof of your devotion and take your place under him for the rest of your life."

Morgana's sword fell to the ground.

Morded smiled. "When you are ready, I will find you."

Morgan watched silently as Morded disappeared from her sight, her mind suddenly filled with unwanted possibilities.

Morgause watched her husband and son look at Gwen. Her son was holding Gwen's hand, his small features full of concern.

"Mother, will Gwen be alright?"

"Yes Wesley," she said, placing a cool cloth against Gwen's face. Gwen is going to be fine.

"Why is she sleeping so much?'

Morgause put one arm around her son. "It's the effect of the healing spell. You remember how much you slept when your father used it on you."

Her son nodded. She ruffled his hair. Gwen wasn't the only one who went through an ordeal today when she thought of what her sweet baby had to endure. She took a deep breath. Now was not the time to be angry. Gwen and Wesley needed her to stay calm. There would be time for revenge later.

The door creaked opened and Morgause saw the face of a man who mirrored her own. Behind him was a woman, a blonde goddess who was more beautiful in person than in her dreams. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. She had waited all her life for this moment and now that it was upon her, she didn't know what to say.

Her other half looked at her, his face an unreadable mask. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

She smiled, finally finding her voice. "King Arthur I am Morgause, High Priestess…"

"I don't care who you are," he said. "I gave orders that no one but I should enter these rooms."

Her face darkened at his gruff tone. "Gwen was staying with us this past summer, she became very close to my family. We just wanted to make sure that she was alright and if she needed anything."

"Guinevere is my concern, not yours, not your families, if she needs anything. I'll take care of it."

Morgause was taken aback by her brother's coldness. This was not the reaction she imagined from him when they first met. Could he not feel their connection? His mother…her mother touched his arm. "Arthur, please. They meant no harm. They just wanted to help."

"It seems to me that they have helped enough! And I would think that after your most recent betrayal with Merlin that you would at least try to back me up over strangers. "

Her husband chose that moment to step forward. "Now wait just a minute…"

"It's okay," Morgause said, trying to defuse the situation.

Things had to stay calm. There were too many secrets in this room. Things could be said.

"Please forgive my son. These are trying times for us all. We appreciate all the care you have given our Gwen the last few months. I am Igraine."

Her mother offered her hand and Morgause took it, unable to believe that her mother's hand was in hers.

"I am Morgause, high priestess of The Druid Nation. This is my husband, Edwin, and our son Wesley. Wesley stuck his tongue at Arthur. Morgause eyes widen. "Ignore my child; he mistakenly believes that Gwen belongs to him."

"She's my lady," Wesley screamed.

Igraine chuckled softly, her brother didn't.

"You are mistaken little man. Gwen belongs to me," he said.

Wesley seemed puzzled by her brother's dark mood. Her mother was soon at his side. "Do you like cinnamon pudding?"

Wesley gave his grandmother a hopefully look. "Who doesn't?"

"Well we have some in the kitchens. Freshly made this morning, come with me and I can take you to it."

Wesley smiled. "You are just like I imagined." His new Grandmother was tall, slender, and her smile warmed his soul. She would give kisses and hugs. Unlike, his Grand shrew as mother called Nimueh.

Igraine looked at her son with a puzzled expression. "What do you mean?"

Morgause looked at his son, warning him to remain silent about the one secret he knew was not his to tell.

"Nothing."

Her mother grabbed her son's hand. Edwin gave Morgause a horrified look. Wesley couldn't be trusted. His mouth was like a babbling brook. Morgan nodded her consent. She knew Wesley would keep quiet.

"Yes, My Queen," Edwin responded. "Pudding is welcome distraction." Wesley smiled brightly as his small fingers wrapped around Igraine's fingers. As her mother pulled the child toward the door. Wesley looked over his shoulder. He gave Arthur a challenging look. "I'll be back for Gwen. Just wait."

Arthur looked in amazement.

"Ignore my child."

Arthur's eyes focused on Gwen' still body. "Why doesn't she move?"

"Her injuries were extensive. She will be fine. She will lean on us for support, especially you, milord."

Morgause's eyes stared at her bother. He may not feel their bond, but she did and she ignored the desire to wrap him in her arms and whisper words of consolation.

"What were they?"

"It isn't important."

"I need to know," he said through gritted teeth. "One day, I will inflict them on Morded, slowly. He needs to feels her agony." He eyed Gwen intently. "I hear she attacked him with a rock," he said, his pride in Gwen obvious in his voice. "But that was just a first strike. Morded will suffer so much more and I want him to know why."

Morgause nodded there was a darkness in her brother that mirrored her own, but unlike her he seemed to be embracing it. The past few weeks he could feel the darkness lifting from his soul, now she feared it was coming back stronger than ever.

"Maybe we shouldn't talk about this."

"TELL ME!" he demanded.

"She had a black eye, her neck was scratched, she had a cut lip, broken ribs, and her wrist was damaged.

"Did he…Did he know her?"

He lowered his eyes and it was clear that it pained him to have to ask such a question.

"No. But that doesn't make her ordeal any less horrifying. Her mind was carry the scars.

Arthur swallowed nervously. "I know."

"Can you handle her pain?"

"Of course," he said tersely.

She closed her eyes and allowed herself to tap into her inner thoughts. She knew it was wrong, but she was desperate to know him.

_Why am I talking to this woman? I don't know her. I'm showing weakness in front of strangers. What would my father say? Why can't everybody just leave me and Gwen alone?"_

Morgause pulled a blanket tightly around Gwen's neck. "She loves you. She missed you terribly over the summer. She's grown."

Arthur nodded slowly. _She wouldn't have missed me, if she hadn't runaway with Merlin. She's home now permanently. __She should have grown here in Camelot, not in the woods with Morded lurking._

Morgause placed her hands on her hips. "Arthur Pendragon, she's home. Morded will always be lurking in the background. Let it go. Care for her."

Arthur arched a blonde eyebrow suspiciously. "You read my mind?"

'Yes."

"You can read anyone's mind?"

Morgause shook a bit. What could she say? _I can only read my brother's mind. My twin, we spent the first moment of conception together. Our link is forever. Arthur was not ready for the truth. Morgause mislead her brother._ "Only in times of distress."

He smiled and she smiled back.

"Do yourself a favor. In times of distress use your talents in someone else."

Morgause nodded her smile fading. "We must leave you. Wesley is probably planning to overthrow you."

She smiled again. Arthur didn't.

As she closed the door she saw her brother move closer to Gwen's side.

"What a prick," said Edwin, as soon as they were out of ear shot.

"He's been through a lot."

"He's been through a lot? Wesley and Gwen have the bruises. He looks a male pretty version of you!"

She ignored her husband with his unexpected emotion. He would spend hours realigning his soul. Morgause spied at her brother through a crack in the door A shiver chased along her spine.

He placed his lips gently against Gwen's cool forehead. Carefully, he climbed next to her. Morgause wanted to be happy at their reunion, but there was something about the way that her brother was looking at Gwen, and the way he had been acting all night, that made her wonder if bringing Gwen back to Camelot was the right thing to do.

Morgause knew that she should resist the temptation of Nimueh. She knew that she should join her family in the kitchen. Enjoy a few stolen moments with her mother. No, her feet lead her to Nimueh's chamber. She didn't bother to knock. She gritted her teeth as she marched into her mother-in-law's chamber.

"Nimueh," Morgause spat.

"Hello, Dear,' she said serenely.

_Nimueh was unbelievable. Her balance destroyed people's lives. All she could say was Hello Dear. She felt no guilt over her actions. Necessary steps to ensure the future._

"I must admit that I did not expect to see here in Camelot. I fear that this is the doing of my dear friend Tatiana, but I hope I am wrong. The fairies no longer have a place in this world. The balance between good and evil must be up…"

Morgause had had enough of this. "SHUT UP!"

Nimueh raised an eyebrow. "Morgause, child calm yourself."

"Calm myself? Do you even know what has happened the past few days? Do you have an inkling of just how much destruction that your daughter has caused? Her actions caused your grandson to be beaten, Wesley, a little blonde boy. Purple and blonde isn't a good color match."

Nimueh's calm emotionless face was almost Morgause undoing. Her fingers itched to slap a few rays of sense into the older woman. Nimueh's eyes were blue and calm. "He lived."

Morgause got in her face. "He lives because he has a mother, a real mother. Not a guide on the path to hell and back. And your job was to nurture her, but you allowed the dark side to steal her soul."

Nimueh shook her head. "You don't understand."

"I understand that your daughter is a monster who destroys everything she touches."

Nimueh shrugged. "That's her job. We all have a role to play in Creation."

Morgause got in her face. "And your job was to nurture her, but you allowed the dark side to steal her soul."

Nimueh shook her head. "You don't understand."

"I don't want to!" she spat, throwing her hands up in the hair. She walked to the doorway but turned around to deliver one final warning to her mother-in-law. "Stay away from my family."

Nimueh's made an expression that she had never seen before. "Edwin is my son. Wesley is my grandson. They are my blood. They will always seek me out."

Morgause shook her head. Nimueh just didn't get it. "When I stay away from my family I mean all my family."

Nimueh laughed. "That would be the mother who thinks you're dead, and don't kid yourself wants it to stay that way, and the brother who seems to have taken an instant dislike to you?" Nimueh knew that Igraine would leap at the chance to be reunited with her daughter and that eventually the kingling would come around, but it was worth the flicker of pain across Morgause's face. The girl was a horrible influence on Edwin. She made him assess Nimueh's actions. She didn't like Morgause or her willful ways.

Morgause swallowed. "I mean it Nimueh. We aren't pawns."

She slammed the door shut.

Nimueh looked at her. For a seer, she seemed almost tragically blind to how the future had to play out. Or maybe she was just in denial. He desire to do the right thing. Always on the side of light. Never considering the rights of the dark. Her righteous will cause much pain in Camelot.

"Yes," she thought, understanding what was about to happen next. "We are all pawns, Dear One."

Arthur watched Gwen sleeping peacefully in their bed and the knot that had been in his stomach for weeks began to fade. For months Arthur had questioned how he dealt with Gwen before she left, he had felt that he was too harsh, too controlling, now seeing her lying there, broken because he had let her slip through his protection, he realized that he had been right all along. Gwen was too fragile to be left to her own devices. She needed him to take care of her and to make choices for her. And he needed her to be safe. This past few months without her had been a living hell. He had almost gone mad from desire to see her, to hear her sweet voice, to run his fingers through her luscious hair. He walked over to the bed and just stared at her. Yes, his Guinevere was like a modern day Helen of Troy, all men seemed to want her, but no man but him would ever posses her. He would marry her as soon as possible and spill his seed inside of her. Once her stomach was swollen with his heir she would be his forever, their child would bond them for life. Maybe he'd keep her constantly with child, he could think of no better life then to always have her in his bed waiting for him to give her another child. Yes, his Little Bit will be kept singing happily in a golden cage of his making.

"Arthur?"

She looked up at him, her beautiful eyes full of devotion.

"Yes Love?"

'What are you doing?'

He leaned down next to her bed and took her hand. "I'm looking at the most beautiful woman in the world."

Her smile lit up the room. "Kiss me."

He did and his whole body instantly was on fire. He tried to pull back, to be gentle, but each moan, each flicker of her tongue, each soft nibble of her teeth enflamed his passions. He deepened the kiss and crawled into bed with her. Soon his hands were roaming over body and she moaned as one hand settled on the soft folds her breast, while the other moved up her leg towards the one place he always longed to be…Then somehow, someway, he found the strength to pull back.

"You should rest," he said hoarsely, rolling off her.

She looked at him, panting. "But I want to be with you."

Arthur smiled, pulling her to him. "And you will," he said, kissing her forehead. "Soon."

She kissed his jaw and he had to force himself to stay still.

"Arthur, why am I in the Queen's chambers."

"Because you are the new queen of Camelot."

"Arthur, what are you talking about?"

"You are my wife Guinevere in body, sprit, and heart in law in just a few days."

She looked at him like he had lost his mind. "Arthur, you can't marry me, you're a king and I'm a servant."

"I changed the law so that we can marry."

"Arthur... you can't do that. I am a commoner, the nobles…"

"I can do whatever I wish, I am The King," he said pulling her closer, willing her to understand that she was his now and forever. "And anyone who dares try to come between us will feel my wrath."

She began to shake her head, but he put a finger on her lips to quiet her. "Enough. It has already been decided. Now close your eyes my sweet Little Bit."

"Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

He forced her chin up so that she could see the seriousness of his words. "I will stay with you forever."

Tatiana smiled gently as she watched the young lovers sleep. Yes, everything would be right in Camelot. Chloe flew next to her.

"Something is wrong with Arthur, Mother. Darkness is growing in his soul. He's losing his way. Blinded by rage."

Tatiana laughed. "My grandson is just fine."

Chloe sucked her teeth loudly. "You always make excuses for him. You dot on him too much because of Helena, but he is not the man you think. He can be influenced by Balinor if we allow it.

Tatiana shook her head. This was a beautiful day. Igraine's children were finally home. She would not have it ruined by such talk.

"Everything will be fine Chloe. You'll see."

Chloe flew away angrily.

She understood her daughter's concerns, but really she knew her grandson better than she did, she had been observing him all her life. He was on the right track to becoming the first true king of Albion. Now she just had to get rid of Gorlois and Balinor, treaty be damned, and if Nimueh got in the way she would take care of her as well. She sometimes wondered if she made the right decision saving her life all those years ago. Creation might be better off without her "neutrality."

Glorious leaned against the wall and smiled. So the fairy's hfairiesken The Treaty of Hagaer and are helping The Pendragon? Balinor must be told of this immediately.

He winced in pain, the psychic link that he was being forced to keep to carry on his mission was being to take a toll. He rubbed his hand through his hair and panicked when he felt brittle strands instead of silky long locks. He looked at his reflection in the window and was relieved to see Glorios' handsome face still staring back at him, his hair soon restored to its necessary style. This was beginning to happen too often. He was going to have to strengthen his control over his host. They were too close to converting The Pendragon, nothing and no one was going to stop them now.


	12. Chapter 12

Lancelot downed another pint of ale and willed all the noise in the background to stop. He wasn't sure how many days he'd been wallowing in this tavern but from the smell of him it had been awhile. His head slumped on the half empty plate in front of him, and he flinched when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder.

"Lancelot!"

Lancelot put his head up and looked at Arthur. He knew he looked a mess. His dark hair was plastered on his face; bits of food were stuck in his newly grown beard. His tunic was covered in a red spots from stale wine. Lancelot met Arthur's blue eyes.

"You look like horse dung," said his King, eyeing him disgustingly.

"Nice to see you too Sire," he mumbled, slurping down what was left of his ale.

"Aren't you going ask me to sit down?"

"You're the king," Lancelot slurred. "Can I stop you?"

"No," Arthur brushed a chair at his table and sat down. "I expected you to report in as soon as you got back."

"Sorry about that. I got detained."

"I can see that."

"Ever so sorry if this place isn't to your liking King Arthur, but I don't recall inviting you here."

Arthur's jaw tightened. "This place shouldn't be to anyone's liking. Look at it."

Lancelot looked around. Half eaten chicken and turkey legs covered the table. Empty wine goblets littered the floor where peas, cabbage, and string beans were colorful spots mingled with dirt. The room just reeks of old ale and decaying food. He groaned as a few beams of sunlight danced around the room.

"So, what brings the great King Arthur to the lower ward of his great kingdom?"

"I marry Guinevere in a few days and she wants you at the wedding."

"Me? I thought Gwen hated me."

"She is grateful for all you did to rescue her. Merlin told her how you cradled her in your arms when you found her. She credits that warmth with saving her life. She feels that you have help make this marriage possible and she wants you to walk with her."

"Of course," Lancelot agreed. "For the first time since Morgana stomped over his heart he felt like smiling. His little sister wanted him to stand up for her.

"She wanted to ask you herself, but she couldn't find you. Morgana did not know where you were, but Leon told me that he had left you here -three days ago! Of course, I couldn't allow Guinevere to visit such a place or to see you in such a state."

Lancelot rubbed his matted hair. "Controlling her already?"

"No, I protect her from herself."

"You control her for yourself."

"Whatever," Arthur said, turning around as loud fight broke out in the back.

Lancelot snorted as the fight escalated to the point where both idiots knocked each other out. When he returned his attentions to Arthur, he was writing Guinevere in a pile of drying rice. Arthur's love sickness made him feel his rejection by Morgana even more. How could two knights be reduced to such things by a woman?

"What would happen if she left you Arthur? Not childish running away in fear. But, breaking your heart and leaving you."

"I would hunt her down and kill her."

Lancelot rolled his eyes. He was trying to have a serious conversation with Arthur and he was being a prat. Arthur may be rash, and his anger uncontrollable at times, but Lancelot knew that Arthur would rather die than hurt Gwen. That knowledge was the only thing that made him stomach the idea of his sister embarking on what was going to be a difficult life as a Commoner Queen.

"She didn't run away in fear," Arthur said, looking up from the table.

"Who do you think you're talking too? I was there, remember. My darling sister ran because she was afraid of you. Your Emrys rants were terrifying."

"Slip of the tongue."

"Don't have anymore."

Arthur balanced his boot on the edge of the table. "Isn't this a touching display of protectiveness from a big brother who never bothered to acknowledge her?"

"I had my reasons for that."

"You were right to keep your mouth shut. Gwen does not need to know about her sordid family history. It would only upset her."

"You can't protect her from everything."

"I can protect her from everything. She won't leave me again."

"She won't understand Lenore."

Arthur's face grew dark.

"I am so tired about hearing about Lenore. For years, I carried on a relationship with her and you and Leon did little more than wink and smile. She was my invisible secret. You never even uttered her name when I was pursuing Gwen. Now she is all that anyone can talk about."

"You weren't serious about Gwen until now."

"I was always serious about Gwen. Lenore was merely a diversion until Gwen came of age. Now that I have my true bride, Lenore is the past."

"Keep it that way."

Arthur leaned closer menacingly. "Lancelot, you commit high treason threatening your sovereign."

Lancelot leaned back and smiled. "She's worth it. She's my sister, grabbed my heart the first time that I saw her, wailing at anyone who dared take her out her mother's arms."

Arthur smiled. "I love her fire. I fell in love in life with it."

"You fell in lust."

Arthur frowned. "Whatever, my heart is hers."

_He loves her fire? Arthur should be careful for fiery women are the most dangerous thing in the world._

He snarled as he saw Morgana's beautiful face laughing at him.

"Do you want her fiery?"

"Not really. I love her sweet and caring."

"You don't get it. She is sweet, loving and caring, but she does have fire in her blood."

"I can handle it."

"Can you?"

Arthur didn't feel comfortable talking about his relationship with Gwen's brother. Lancelot was his best friend. But some things were off limits. Besides, from the look of him he had women problems of his own.

"Lancelot, what is her name?"

Lancelot sat back. "Morgana."

"Morgana, who?"

Arthur didn't know of a Morgana in the nobility.

Lancelot chuckled and raised an eyebrow. That's when Arthur knew. But it couldn't be. Surely Lancelot was not that stupid.

"Morgana," Arthur asked incredulously. "My sister?" His anger was beginning to rise. Lancelot had not right to touch the King's ward!"

"You dared seduce MY sister?"

"Seduce? Morgana? Come on."

Arthur tried to maintain his scowl, but it was useless. He knew Morgana well enough to know that no man could manipulate her into giving him her favors. If anything, she probably seduced him but still…

"You had no right."

"Perhaps not." Lancelot waved his hands melancholy. "But, she's beautifully. Her spirit is incredible. She's a wonderful fighter. Can you blame me?

He couldn't. Arthur knew all too well how tempting forbidden fruit was, but unlike Gwen, Morgana was a princess who belonged to the state. Her virginity was not hers to give. Lancelot was lucky that he had abandoned his idea to marry her off to Leon or had no plans to use her in a marital alliance. He would have been forced to take actions that would have hurt him very deeply.

"I thought she was loyal to me," Lancelot droned on. "But, we want different things. I was ready for a wife. She wants adventure and conquering Albion."

"You were looking for a wife? You, who never met a maid who you did not conquer?"

"Perhaps, I am just following your example."

"Loving Guinevere has certainly made me better and once my heir is born…"

"An heir?" His friend looked aghast. "Is that wise? Gwen is still recovering."

"Merlin healed her. His magic is strong now."

"And her mind?'

"I'll heal her mind."

Lancelot rolled his eyes. "If you can." Lancelot leaned forward. "Arthur, you don't know the damage to young girls, you must tread carefully with them and if you don't, the guilt that lingers on your soul…."

"Lancelot, Gwen is not THAT young. She is twenty one. My mother was eighteen when she married, her mother was sixteen, and her mother was only fourteen."

Arthur shook at the thought. His grandmother, like her mother before her, were very young girls who died in childbirth, which was why marriages for young girls were now banned and why he dared not touch Gwen until he was sure she was old enough to bare his child.

Arthur punched his knight in the arm. "Well, when you are done wallowing here, I need you to meet two men, who I am thinking about knighting."

"Who?" I did not know of any noble men who had reached that age of majority."

" Their names are Gawain and Percival."

"Who?"

"They come from the East. Good men, strong solid knights."

"We'll need them."

Arthur smiled. "What you need is a bath and maybe," he said pointing to two very pretty slatterns who had been eyeing them for a while now, "Some better company."

"No thanks. I'm through with women."

"That's a good thing because it's obvious they both like me."

Lancelot looked back and waved at the now giggling girls. "Oh please, they are clearly beckoning me with their eyes."

"You dare challenge your sovereign over a woman?" Arthur laughed.

Challenge? What challenge? I'd surely win."

"Are you insane?"

"I look better than you."

"Do not?"

"Do too. Women love dark, brooding thing and I am poetic."

"Flowery nonsense," Arthur scoffed. "Lancelot, I am the king. No woman would prefer you to me."

"I am a knight. Some have even called me the perfect knight, the knight by which all others will be eternally judged."

Arthur tossed his plate at him.

Lancelot laughed. "Can you imagine us after the same woman?"

Arthur walked towards the door. "The only woman that I could ever love is Guinevere and she is your sister."

"But if she wasn't…"

"If she wasn't; I'd fight to the death to keep her from you and you'd be my traitorous rival for all time."

Lancelot threw his hand up. "Thank the gods; there is no chance of that.

Arthur smiled.

"I'm almost over her," Lancelot said sadly.

"I know."

Arthur walked through the door. He couldn't help but feel sorry for his friend. Never would he suffer like Lancelot. He would ensure that Gwen never dreamed of nor desired another man. He would have his woman; he would have his heir; he would secure Camelot. He would have it all.

Morgana closed her eyes and tried not to think about Lancelot. She kicked her blanket off and sat up. Why was she feeling bad? None of this was her fault. She never promised him anything. They both knew what this thing was when they got into it. If he was stupid enough to fall in love with her, then that was his problem.

She closed her eyes and remembered when it all went to Hades.

_Morgana watched as Lancelot eyed the portal cautiously. Merlin promised that the portal would ensure a quick return for them and she was eager to experience its mystery. She watched in awe as a huge shimmering purple circle that hummed formed, a bright light floating in the center. The portal beckoned to them. Lancelot was ready to return home, but Morgana wanted to stay longer and explore the forbidden world of the Druid Nation. She lost the fight._

_Lancelot wouldn't stop complaining about how long, tiring, and painful their mission has been. He also wouldn't stop whining about Gwen and her injuries._

"_I only hope that our love can heal her," he said, as they lead their horses into The Royal Stables. _

_Morgana thought she was going to be sick._

"_It's good to be home," he said, grabbing her arm. "I think we are owed days and nights of rest and rejuvenation." He leaned in for a kiss and she pulled away._

_He leaned against her horse as she idly wiped her horse's nose and whispered endearment in his ear. When he realized that she wasn't interested in talking, he calmly housed his horse, but he was soon in her face. _

"_What is it Morgana? You have been silent the whole trip back."  
_

_"I have nothing to say to you."_

_His eyes grew sad. He smelled of confusion and disappointment. She tried not to laugh. This was the great Sir Lancelot?_

_His hands curled into a hard ball as his anger built. "What happened? Last night, you laid in my arms as I made love to you. You called my name in ecstasy. WHAT HAPPENED?"_

_Morgana flicked her sable hair. She ran her tongue along her lips. "I don't like this domestic bliss. I don't want to be your wife." _

_He made her feel as trapped as these horses in their stalls._

_Lancelot lowered his head. "I never asked you to be my wife Morgana."_

_She folded her arms. "You thought about it, Lancelot. Can you deny that you had dreams of me bearing your children?"_

"_And if I did would it be so wrong?" he asked, gently cupping her chin. "Look at us, two knights who have never really loved anything but the sword. Two people who have mistaken lust for love more times then we can count. Who else will have us? We are perfect for each other."_

_Morgana laughed as she swatted his hand away. "You are so arrogant. Do you really believe that being bedded by you can replace a life of adventure and excitement? I need the rush of the fight. Sorry, but the great Lancelot just isn't enough for me!"_

_"Morgana, you love me!" said Lancelot, with a desperation that he had never heard from him. _

_At that moment she hated him._

_Morgana laughed again. "Love? Let's not fool ourselves. We were having a good time, that's it. Besides even if I did love you, I couldn't anymore, not after tonight and that spectacle that you made of yourself over Arthur's whore."_

_Lancelot head whipped up. His eyes filled with disdain. "You're jealous of my sister?"  
_

_"I'm not jealous, just tired of the never ending adoration."  
_

_"She could have died, Morgana."  
_

"_I should be so lucky," she scoffed. "No, that little girl will live forever to keep everyone on her hook and to spread her legs for our king."_

_Lancelot rushed towards Morgana with his hand raise. _

_She smiled, a bit of fire at last. But instead of striking her, he gently cupped her face with his hands. His lips brushed over hers until her mouth opened softly. He crushed her lips with his passionate touch. His fingers stroked her beautiful face._

_For a brief second she felt vulnerable and bit regret began to creep in._

_"Goodbye, Morgana. Have a good life." _

"_Don't worry, I will." She hissed at him, grabbing a rock and throwing it at his head as he walked away. She missed - this time.  
_

She hadn't seen him sense.

She laid back down and allowed herself to relax. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she did nothing wrong. In retrospect, she was almost too nice.

Morgause watched Edwin curiously, a small smirk twisted her beautiful face as Edwin continued to methodically pack a large brown traveling bag. His hands twisted various articles of clothing to snugly fit in the case. Edwin continued his wordless movement towards the wardrobe and Morgause snapped. She stomped towards the bed and dumped his clothing on the floor. The clothes fell to the ground in a silent heap.

"Morgause, what in the name of the gods are you doing?"

Morgause clutched the handle tightly as she faced her husband. "When did we stop being equal partners?"

The wardrobe clicked as Edwin slammed it shut. "This place isn't for us."

"Camelot is my birthplace. My mother and brother reside here. I'm a Pendragon. I need to be here."

Edwin curled his fingers in frustration. "They don't know about you. You're my wife. Wesley's mother. We have a home."

Morgause brushed tears from her eyes. "How can I make you understand? Stop being a Druid monk! Be my husband. Listen to me!"

Edwin stepped back in shock. Morgause rarely cried. She never begged. She dealt with life's roughness. Maybe, he didn't understand his wife as well as he thought. Or maybe this place was making her lose her true self.

"Don't you understand what it feels like to be around Arthur and Igraine? Your mother stole me away from them and although my foster mother was wonderful and I did love her, there was a part of me that missed Igraine every moment of my life. Now, finally, my mother speaks and laughs with me. She touches my hand and I feel a thrill of joy. I can't leave now. I won't leave now."

Edwin paced in aggravations. "I know it hurt to be separated from your mother, but Nimueh had her reasons."

"Like she had her reasons when she stole you from Gaius?"

"Morgause," he warned.

"What? Your mother robbed you of your father's love just like she robbed me of my mothers'," Morgause spat.

Edwin walked over to his wife and put a hand on her shoulder. "This place isn't good for you. It isn't good for me. It isn't good for our son."

She brushed his hands away. "He loves his grandmother. He has a right to know her."

Edwin cupped her trembling chin. "Sometimes, I forget that you aren't strong as you appear.

Morgause moved away, but her husband pulled her close.

"Still, you were never some vulnerable little girl. I remember that seductive child that entered my order. It was a dark night. You stood there in that black gown eyeing the temple like you were already its priestess. I pretended to be indifferent to your allure, but I would have given anything to win your heart."

"I'm not a child ,Edwin. I am a grown woman who is in control of her own life. I love you, but I won't leave this place."

Edwin rested his brown head on her shoulder. "I love you too, Morgause, but evil lives in this castle. I can't place it."

"Are you looking in your mother's chamber?"

"I was referring to other places."

Morgause rolled her eyes."Oh."

Edwin's expression softened as he gently turned her to face him. "I know how you get when your mind is made up, so I guess we are staying. I will not leave you to face the coming darkness alone."

"Thank you."

Edwin brushed Morgause's tears away. His fingers gently traced her lips. "Besides, it will give us a chance to keep an eye on Gwen and Merlin. I don't trust Arthur with them."

And he didn't. Arthur was unpredictable. His rage was real and potent.

"My brother is not dangerous!"

"Stop reading minds."

"I can't help it," she giggled. "I'm still struggling to control my gifts."

Edwin used his best shielding spell to make sure that his thoughts stayed to himself. This was why he wanted to flee Camelot. Morgause couldn't focus with her family near. He couldn't risk another incident. Morgause didn't really understand the depths of her powers. Thankfully, she didn't remember those moments when she lost control, but others did and he didn't want his mother explaining anything to her.

"We'll mediate in the morning," Edwin said as his wife smirked at him.

Morgause nodded. Her blonde hair gently rubbed against his face. "Last night, I dreamed of Gwen. She was with child."

Edwin bit his lip. "Can you tell how far in the future you were seeing?"

"No, but I think it will be soon. Gwen is not as fragile as people think, but she is only human. Her body might not be able to have a child with fairy blood."

"What is meant to happen will always happen," said Edwin, sounding too much like his mother for her liking.

"We will meditate for her and her baby."

Morgause pushed closer to her husband to borrow his strength.

"I don't care how long we meditate; Arthur will still be a jerk."

Morgause slapped his thigh hard.

"He needs to control the darkness in his soul."

"Maybe, if we taught him how to meditate…," Morgause teased.

Morgause and Edwin looked at the door when a soft rapping vibrated into their chamber.

"Yes?"

"It's Igraine."

Morgause moved from her husband and instinctually began rubbing her face and smooth down her dress.

"Enter."

Igraine came in, holding Wesley's hand.

"Mother…Queen Mother," she said bowing.

"Please. No bowing. I will not here if it. Look who I found sneaking around in the kitchens."

"I'm a growing boy," said Wesley.

"I am sorry if he has been an inconvenience ,milady."

"Nonsense, I haven't had a little boy bring me such pleasure since Arthur. It is amazing how much he reminds me of him. It is a joy to spend time with him."

Morgause smiled brightly.

"I promised Wesley a walk and I was hoping that you would join us."

Edwin shook his head "Thank you, milady ,but I do not think…"

Morgause stepped forward.

"I'd love to more then you could ever know."

She shot her husband and angry look and took her Mother's hand.

"Morgause, darling, like a moth to a flame."

Leon stopped at the door when he heard his mother's voice. His mother did very little entertaining since she became ill and he was surprised that she was accepting visitors so late in the day.

"But you must!"

The desperation in his mother's voice peaked his interest. He moved closer to the door.

"But milady I promised," came the sad and equally desperate reply.

Leon looked through a crack in the door and tried to see who his mother was talking too.

"You are the only one I can trust."

Leon opened the door, determined to get to the bottom of whatever was going on and was surprised to see his mother's handmaiden Beulah, trying to remove her hand for his mother's grasp. Both women jumped apart when they saw him. Beulah dropped the tray she was holding, breaking glass and splattering tea all over the floor.

"My forgiveness milord," she said, bowing.

He raised his hand and moved over to help her as she frantically tried to pick up the broken dishes.

"Leave it, Beulah," his mother said.

"But milady…"

"I said leave it!"

Beulah nodded and got up, bowing before she left.

Leon tried to offer her a comforting smile as she scurried off. He waited until the door was closed to look at his mother.

"Mother, what was all that about?"

His mother sighed and sat on her palette.

"I was merely giving the girl a simple task to do and she acted as if I wanted her to find The Holy Grail. She's a sweet girl, but like most servants she isn't very bright. I wonder if I would not have kept her as a handmaiden if she hadn't been such a wonderful handmaiden to our Elaine. Gods," she said, grabbing head. "I have a headache now."

Leon smiled and kissed his mother's shoulder as he placed her cape around her shoulders.

"It is chilly in here mother, how do you ever expect to get better if you don't stay warm."

His mother grabbed his hand. "I don't."

Leon's face fell.

"It is ok sweet boy. I am old. Old people die. It will happen to you one day."

Leon took a deep breath. His mother had been getting progressively ill but he still held out hope. He kissed his mother's hand and smiled at her.

"You are not old and you are going to live forever."

She laughed. "Just like your father, full of horse dung. Sit my son."

He did.

"Did you recover Gwen?"

"Yes we did, but she suffered greatly."

"I heard," she said, wrapping her cloak closer. "I am sorry to hear that she is suffering, a sentiment not shared by our fellow nobles let me tell you. I heard that Sir Franker had secret prayer vigils for her death to 'save Camelot and the King from the peasant whore Queen.' "

Leon shuddered. If Arthur were to ever find this out Sir Franker and his family would suffer greatly. He hoped his mother's gossip chain was wrong – for once.

"Disgusting!," his mother continued. "While, I agree that Gwen is wrong to try and move out of her station. She has no business marrying our King, but she is a sweet girl."

Leon nodded. "Mother, your words could ruin us. You just committed treason against Camelot. Arthur would have your head. Threats to Gwen; bring dire consequences."

Leon's mother rolled her eyes. "If you say so."

Leon gave his mother a cold look. "DO NOT SPREAD GOSSIP ABOUT THE FUTURE QUEEN," Leon warned. "I can't protect you from Arthur''s rage. I have seen things, Mother. Gwen, has powerful allies. People and beings more powerful than a group of mere human mortals that claimed to be noble. Yet, they never act with nobility.

Leon's mother paled. "I meant…"

"Things have changed."

They sat in silence as his mother fluffed her cape.

"Were THEY with you?"

Leon leaned back. He knew exactly who they were.

"Yes, Mother, and they are unharmed." He thought of when he last saw Lancelot. "For the most part."

"Too bad."

"Mother!"

"Don't mother me. Do you really expect me to forget how that dark haired devil treated Elaine? How she teased her and talked about her? And don't even get me started on how she treated you. She made us all believe that she was going to marry you and then nothing. I swear if she were not the King's ward and supposed sister…"

"But she is and it's done. I broke it off with her, remember."

"For reasons that I still don't know." His mother sat up. "I hear that she has moved on to him."

Leon didn't answer.

"They deserve each other, two disgusting pigs."

"Mother. I know that you were disappointed that nothing came from Lancelot and Elaine's association. But it was never a real courtship and Lancelot broke it off at my request. I think it proves how honorable he is."

His mother snorted. "Lancelot? Honorable? Please!"

"Mother!"

He was interrupted by his brother who came bouncing in and jumped on his lap.

"Leon."

"Sir Galahad," he said, bowing his head. "Justin is trying to get me to do my letters, but I do not want to do my letters. I want to go out into the field with John and practice my sword play."

His mother laughed. "Galahad has become quite good with the sword. Justin says he is a natural."

Leon frowned. "The sword? Is he not too young for that?"

"Leon, he is five. You started at four."

"Only because Prince Arthur had been trained to kill since birth and Father feared I was already behind."

"Uther was so hard on that boy. Igraine felt he would crack."

"Have you talked to The Queen Mother lately?"

"No, I've only seen her once this summer. But I miss her."

Leon squeezed his mother's hand. His mother and The Queen Mother had been friends since they were children. She traveled with her from their land as her chief Lady in Waiting when she married King Uther.

"I am sure that she will be by to see you soon."

"I hope so, but it is not matter," she said, putting her hand on Galahad's knee. "I have my two boys and that's all that matters."

"I'll always visit you, Mother," said Galahad.

"I know," said their mother.

Galahad ruffled his little brother's head. He had been the most amazing surprise. When Elaine became ill his parents thought the sea air would do her some good. It was on that pilgrimage that his mother realized that she was with child. His father demanded that she stay put until Elaine was better and until the child was born. He'll never forget the day she returned, without Elaine and with a babe in her arm. Her grief over losing Elaine compounded when he had to tell her of Father's death. She fainted and was caught by a servant, who handed him his little brother, who looked at him with expectant eyes.

"Justin says that I am all but guaranteed a spot in the knighthood is that true?"

"Well, I am a knight, as our father before him, and his father before him, and so on, so I'd say that you have a pretty good chance."

"Do you think that Sir Lancelot will still be a knight then?"

"I'm not sure, why?"

"Because everyone says that he is the best knight ever and I want to beat him."

Leon laughed.

"Do not worry my sweet, you are already more of a man then Lancelot will ever be."

"Okay," said Leon lifting his brother up in his arms. He carried him over his shoulder to the door and the young boy laughed all the way. He called for the first servant he saw. "Theresa."

"Yes, milord," said the tall blonde girl, bowing. "Can you please take Galahad to the kitchens to get a small snack and then take him back to Justin so that he can finish his letters?"

Galahad groaned.

Theresa offered her hand. "Come, my young lord."

Galahad took it and they walked out.

"I worry about him," his mother said.

"He'll be fine."

"How can he when he has no inheritance to cushion him?"

"Mother' I do not wish to talk about this."

"You never wish to talk about this but we must, with your greedy older brothers hoarding everything for themselves, we must think about our futures."

"They are doing what the law allows."

"Well, the law is wrong."

Lancelot didn't argue. His brothers, being the elder sons by his father's first wife, were entitled to everything while he as a third son and Galahad as a fourth son got nothing. They would not even have this house if The King, no doubt on the Queen's urging, had not gifted it to them. It was the main reason he joined the knighthood, it gave him decent wages and allowed his family to keep their honor.

"Lady Chesa Weilaret asked about you."

"Mother, don't."

"Don't what? Don't try and match you with a beautiful woman with an impeccable pedigree that just happens to be …"

"Rich."

"I was going to say interested."

"Leon, Chesa is an only daughter, as her husband you would inherit all her lands and all her titles."

"And in return I would be stuck with a slow witted snob as a wife who talks about her friends like they were dogs, treats her servant abysmally, and faints at the drop of a hat to prove her delicacy. I am sure that there is a man who is willing to take that on, but I am not he."

"You are always talking about duty and honor as a knight, but what about your duty to us. You need a prestigious marriage to restore the DuNobely's name. I am dying my sweet boy, but how can I go in peace if you are broke and Galahad has no mother. You must marry a woman of wealth for all our sakes."

"And what if I wish to be like our King and marry for love?"

His mother grunted.

"Arthur has the luxury of being reckless; he is a king with more wealth and power then any king who has ever come before him. He does not want for riches nor does he need a political alliance to secure his borders. You are not so lucky. You must do right by us Leon before it's too late."

Leon kissed his mother's forehead. "Think of these things no more." But even as he said the words he knew that for the next few days he'd be able to think of little else.


	13. Chapter 13

Gwen stared at her reflection in the mirror. Her fingers gently touched her face. Her eyes were traced with kohl. Chloe was happily twittering around. She had crushed pink peonies and was using the delicate pulp to paint Gwen's lips a deep pink and dust a rosy hue across her high cheekbones. Gwen was almost afraid to touch her face. Morgause, Chloe and her fairies sister twisted white and yellow roses into her hair. Ever so gentle, the tiny fairies placed each delicate rose into her curly strand. Gwen looked out her window and laughed as they flew out of her room to where her wedding was going to be held. They floated around sprinkling fairy dust and good charm. Occasionally, Arthur would swat at one until Tatiana arched a minuscule eyebrow in reprimand, but she knew the Fairy Queen was not mad. She had a fondness for Arthur that Gwen found endearing. She told her Gwen once that she and Arthur both spoke the same language monarch to monarch. Gwen didn't know about that, but it made her so happy that somebody besides her and Igraine could see the wonderful man Arthur was inside and Gwen knew despite all of Arthur's complaints that he was developing a tolerance for the fairy's presence.

Gwen took another look at her king, her lover and her soon to be husband and was overcome with such a strong feeling of love for him that she feared her heart would burst.

She smiled when she felt a pair of delicate hands claps something around her neck. She looked down and her neck and fingered the heavy gold necklace that now adorned it.

"It's beautiful," she said. And it was. It was shaped like a dragon clasp and red rubies and gleaming pearls were embedded throughout the delicate chain. She never imagined that she would own something so beautiful.

"Every Pendragon bride has worn this necklace on her wedding day, now it is yours."

Gwen smiled as she turned around to face the woman who she would always think of as her queen.

"You look beautiful."

"Thank you, milady."

Igraine laughed and pulled her into a hug. "I remember the day you were born. Your mother was very sick after you were born and she was terrified that…well that she wouldn't be able to take care of you. So, she asked me to watch you until things worked themselves out. I watched you sleeping on my bed and I imagined that you were my daughter, and now you are."

Gwen did not know what to say to that. She was grateful for all the kindness that Igraine had shown her and she loved her dearly but Igraine's words only made her miss her mother more. She wondered what she would think of her marrying the King of Camelot.

Igraine broke the hug and then brushed a soft kiss against her chin.

"I have to check on Arthur. I will see you soon."

Gwen smile faded as soon as Igraine left. Her bodice was beginning to feel to constricting. The heavy silk wrinkled as she glided across her chamber. The three handmaidens, _her_ handmaidens, grabbed the bottom of the dress and begged her not to move too much.

"You do not wish to sweat milady."

Gwen wanted to laugh. Milady? Just six months ago Zelda was calling her a stuck up goat that needed to learn her place, now she was fawning all over her and begging her pardon every chance she got.

She walked towards her looking glass and had to force herself to believe that she was actually looking at her own reflection. She was wearing the most beautiful dress she had ever seen. It was a golden yellow dress of pure perfection, trimmed with white lace, and adorned with pearls. Arthur said he wanted her to wear a yellow dress as homage to the simple yellow frock she wore when he finally noticed her. She heard that Igraine's seamstress used her measurements from her green birthday dress to create the long, flowing creation. She still could not believe that while she was in the Druid camp with Merlin fearing for her future this summer, seamstresses were working diligently to create her wedding gown.

Her maids continued to fuss over her, applying more jewels to her hair and ensuring that every curl was twisted into the most beautiful patterns. Nervously, she tapped her fingers against the vanity table. She wanted to sit down, but she could wrinkle her dress. She could marry the king of Camelot with a mussed dress.

She fought tears, not to ruin Chloe's hard work. Everything was happening so fast. She barely had time to get Mo… _No, I will not think of him on my Wedding day_. Sometimes, Gwen dreamt of Morded, his darkly handsome faces danced around her dreams. She could hear his silky voice calling to her. Gwen shook her slightly. He was gone. He would never hurt her again. Arthur would protect. Merlin surrounded her in anew protection spell. Edwin's said it was stronger than anything that he had ever enacted.

A soft rap on her Chamber door pushed Gwen's dark thoughts away.

"Gwen," Lancelot called. "May I come in?

"Yes," Gwen answered quietly.

She turned to her maids. "Can you please leave us?"

They all smiled and bowed, though she thought she saw a peculiar gleam in Zelda's eyes as she closed the door.

Lancelot smiled brightly as pride shone in his eyes. His younger sister rivaled Aphrodite today. He brushed a tear from his harden brown eyes. If losing Morgana created this day, Lancelot would be happy for the rest of his days. He made a mistake; he was not meant for marriage, babies, and love for an eternity. He was meant to live and love for the moment.

"Are you ready?"

"Yes."

He kissed her hand.

"I never got a chance to thank you for coming after me when Morded…."

He put a finger on her lips. "You do no need to thank me. I would die a thousand deaths for you."

Gwen laughed. "While Lancelot I never knew that you were so…"

"Poetic?"

"I was going to say overdramatic but I suppose that poetic will do as well."

He joined in her laughter. "That was a bit much wasn't it."

"Just a bit."

"But I meant every word."

"And to think once upon a time I hated you."

"Most of my relationships with women start that way," he winked.

Gwen felt closeness with Lancelot that made her feel safe and warm. She was had selected him as one the males who would offer her to Arthur on her wedding out of gratitude, but now it seemed to be the most natural choice in the world. He would walk her part of the way to the Royal gardens. Merlin would be the person to present her to Arthur. She wanted Wesley to participate, but he refused to offer his lady to Arthur. He firmly believed that Gwen belonged to him, and Arthur was rather mean.

Gwen studied her reflection one last time. A sad smile covered her face. "Goodbye, Gwen."

Her skirts rustled as she walked in Lancelot's direction. He tucked her offered hand into his warm arm.

"If you don't want to do this I'll take you to the stables. We can run off."

"Lancelot, I've done enough running for a lifetime."

Nimueh watched the inhabitants scurrying around Camelot, celebrating their new Peasant Queen. As the sun blazed from the heavens; soon the moon would slowly rise like a watch dog to bring calm and serenity to Camelot. Unlike, most extraordinary beings, Nimueh didn't hate humans. She didn't understand their importance or their basic lack of understanding, but she understood that for better or worse the world belonged to them. She wondered what they would be like if they all knew that they were just pawns placed on a huge chest board. Good and Evil constantly planning, plotting, and executing grand plans to win the ultimate battle.

She wondered why Good chose so many of its allies to be "common". It opened them up to too much temptation. What would these giggling, drunk peasants do for power and prestige? The answer was always nothing. They worked hard and remained true to the side of good, most of them. However, the nobles were an evil lot created by the side of darkness to keep good from ruling the land. Once in a while a noble would be true of heart and would be charitable with their great wealth and easy life, but for the most part, Nobles reveled in evil and were a constant bowl of disappointment to Good who always believed they could be better. 

At times, Nimueh was forced to prevent them from disrupting the balance. When Evil was threatening to take over, she had to help Good. When Good was _this close_ to eradicating evil she had to let Evil win, or at least like she did with the Treaty of Hager, live to fight another day.

Nimueh did like Arthur; however, he was a different human. His fairy blood would temper Uther's nasty human genes and with Guinevere by his side the boy would lead Albion to its greatest age. Guinevere was born to be his consort, and nor beast, creature, or man would interfere with the union. Unfortunately, the Nobles dared to hold a prayer vigil for her death. Sir Franken uttered his prayers to the wrong gods.

She watched as a gaggle of Nobles, lead by Sir Franken walked to the festivities. Their faces were twisted in obvious distress and Nimueh fingers ached to wipe their smug smiles off their haughty faces. At first, Nimueh wanted to burn the skin from their flesh, but that was tasteless and reeked of emotion. Emotions made you careless, but the nobles needed to learn a lesson, a lesson of suffering, a lesson of repentance, a lesson of their fragility, a lesson of humility. So, Nimueh chanted a few words to ensure Guinevere would rule by Arthur's side; constantly beaming with love in her dark eyes. The balance was not to be disturbed.

No sooner then she uttered the enchantment then Lady Rose began to cough. Her sister put an arm around her and Sir Franken called for a servant to bring her some ale.

Nimueh's hands clutched the cool stone rampart, a small grin rested on her beautiful face.

_That won't help you." Her long brown hair blew in a slight breeze. You men and women are marked for death. A death, you freely chose by holding hate and prejudice in your hearts._

Actually, this illness enchantment was quite clever. It could only be cured by words uttered from her crimson lips. The illness would only strike Nobles in Camelot; nobles that disparaged or threatened Guinevere. Any nobles that said they wanted her dead. Their fates were sealed. It was a painful death. Their body would be racked with a burning fever as they quivered with chills. Their throats would crave ale, a thirst that could not be quenched. A burning sensation would flare along their skin without an effective ointment to relive their pain. There would be a constant emptying of their bowels until their eyes wept blood and their insides dried out.

She shrugged. It was ugly, but nothing, like another disease that ravaged Camelot. She thought about how that enchantment had brought a kingdom to its knees and how easily it could happen again. But that was not her fault, nor her problem

Nimueh had a one last chore on her list for Guinevere Pendragon. It was time for her to conceive an heir for Camelot. Arthur's son must be born to ensure his legacy. Merlin would not interfere with his bumbling love for the young queen. Nimueh would delay any interruptions that would prevent the child's creation. _Yes, he would bond his parents together forever. He was essential to Camelot's future._

Nimueh's face twisted in distaste as she watched the red hair woman hurry to aid her friend. Arthur's paramour needed to remember her place. It was not near Arthur; his former liaison could ruin an empire.

Nimueh lowered heavy lids on her tired blue eyes. Her soul was uneven; a day of mediation would restore her inner balance. Yes, she need to rest to prepare for the coming days.

"What are you doing?"

Nimueh smiled at Morgause who appeared at her side.

"I asked you a question. What are you up to?"

"I was just taking a walk before the big festivities. I am surprised that you are not with Guinevere. I though the two of you were close."

"Igraine was with her earlier and I did not want to crowd them."

"Yes, Igraine is quite fond of Guinevere. She told me she thinks of her as the daughter she never had."

She watched Morgause's' face fall. "Sorry."

"I'm sure," said Morgause rolling her eyes. "What is going on there?"

Nimueh looked back at the nobles. There were now three of them coughing and begging for ale. The Lady Rose was being carried by Sir Franken and the red headed whore fanned her.

"It looks like they are ill."

"They are so cruel to Gwen and I see the way they look at my mother. I hope they all die."

Nimueh looked at her with pride. "You and I are a lot alike, daughter."

Morgause snorted. "You and I are nothing alike and don't call me daughter."

Nimueh ignored Morgause's denial of the obvious."Come. We have a wedding to attend."

Geoffrey stared at the bright blue sky. Gentle sunshine bathed Camelot with splendor rays. It was a beautiful day for a wedding. It was like Arthur order an extra day of summer for his wedding. He wiped his sweaty bald head. Geoffrey wanted to marry them quickly, attend the feast, and scurry to his chamber. Arthur had to marry Gwen… no, Guinevere today. Arthur insisted everyone address his wife as Queen Guinevere. Geoffrey noticed Arthur was antsy over the last few days. He expected a huge wedding with Kings from across the know land, and then again, Arthur had murdered several kings during battle or conquered their lands. Albion didn't have a wide selection of monarchs. However, Arthur insisted on a relative small wedding in Camelot's gardens. A royal feast was to follow after with the Nobles. The Nobles, who didn't dare breath, think, write a negative word about the future Queen. They finally realized that Arthur was a just King, however, he had Uther's ruthless streak. His queen was not to be upset by anyone.

Arthur's crown twinkled in the bright sunlight. He looked like a golden god from Mt. Olympus. He wore a brilliant crimson red tunic. Actually, it was Pendragon red. His legs were enclosed in dark brown pants. The heat of the day caused him to discard his matching red velvet jacket. He surveyed the guests seated in the gardens. He couldn't believe Lenore actually sat in a back corner of the garden. She looked beautiful in a bright pink silk dress. She smiled seductively at Arthur. She chuckled softly when his eyes shot daggers at her.

Merlin couldn't believe that Gwen asked him to present her to Arthur. He wanted to grab her and run away from the madness of Camelot. He longed for the days of their youth, before Arthur, before Emrys, before Morded, before Freya. He wanted to sit on the front steps of the castle, and wait for his Gwen to bounce down the stairs, her curly hair blowing in the wind as she arrived breathless from a day of leisure with Igraine.

_How could he have not known all of these years that Gwen had capture his heart? _

This whole wedding fiasco was his fault. If he had only given Arthur the correct ointment, then Arthur would have never threatened him, and Gwen wouldn't have flown to his defense. If he could only change that one day…

Merlin turned to study his sovereign, the other half of his destiny. Honestly, he liked Arthur. He was a good man. He was a fair and just king. They spent hours discussing matters of Camelot and Albion. Yet, he didn't fully trust him with Gwen. Something had happened. He couldn't place his finger on his apprehension. Yes, he knew that his love for her was blinding his judgment. He spent several hours each morning mediating with Edwin. He searched his soul for solace, and every time he found himself faced with disappointment. He needed to understand the reservation that he had about Arthur and Gwen. What had happened to shake his faith in Arthur's love for Gwen?

"Merlin."

"Yes?"

Arthur smiled joyously. "Do you have the rings?"

"Yes, Arthur for the tenth time. I have the rings."

Horns blared to signal Gwen's approached.

Arthur turned to meet Geoffrey.

"Arthur."

Arthur paused and he met Merlin's eerie calm eyes. "If you hurt her, I'll kill you."

Arthur tightened his jaw. For the first time, he noticed a new glint in Merlin's eyes. He recognized love for a woman. _What happen over the summer? He didn't view her that way when they left._

"I love her. Her protection is my priority and duty. I won't her hurt, Merlin. I'll never give her reason to wish to leave our marriage," Arthur responded calmly.

An uneasy silence played around them.

"Arthur," Igraine chastised. "By Geoffrey now." Arthur smiled at his mother. She looked utterly lovely in a Pendragon red dress. He hurriedly walked down the aisle. His eyes met Morgause's brown ones. He had no idea why his mother insisted Morgause wear Pendragon red. He didn't like her. He hated that she could read his thoughts. He didn't want to be opened to anyone like that, not even Gwen. His blue eyes swept past her early when she smiled softly in his direction. He half expected her brat to stop the wedding.

Morgause hoped Gwen's calming presence would pull Arthur from the edge of the abyss. Her brother was tittering on losing his soul. His reaction to Gwen's injuries sent Arthur spiral towards the pits of hell. A fiery fate like their dearly departed father, Uther. Arthur needs to reassess his soul. Morgause clasped Igraine's soft hand as she waited for Gwen to appear.

Igraine smiled brightly at Morgause. She was such a remarkable young woman. Her presence, the last few days helped her so much. Wesley was an utter joy. He filled the drafty old castle with life. She hoped Gwen would have a child as soon as her body would permit. She meant to remind Arthur to take care of Gwen during their physical session. Igraine wondered if Gwen was ready to resume physical relations with Arthur. How she prayed for a grandson, a clean slate for them all.

Gwen could barely remember exchanging Lancelot for Leon. Gwen brushed tears from Leon's eyes when he slipped Elaine's pearl ring on her ring. He gruffly whispered that she wanted her to have it on her wedding. Leon's warm embrace felt so safe as Gwen slowly said goodbye to her old life. Her satin heels clicked against the gleaming marble floors. She caught her breath as she saw Camelot's residents filling the roads along the castle. Lancelot rubbed his hand gently across her back to calm her nerves.

"It's okay, Gwen. They love you. They want you to be their queen."

Gwen pressed soft hands against Lancelot's strong chin. "Thank you your help. I've forgive you for ruining my birthday."

"I'm sure, we will have other ruined parties," Lancelot laughed. "Let's go before Arthur sends the guards for us."

Igraine watched her son and smiled.

She couldn't help but to remember her own wedding day, how excited she was, how much hope she had for the future. She closed her eyes. Gwen and Arthur would not repeat her and Uther's mistakes. They would have a happy marriage. She would see to it personally.

"You have done well with him," whispered a soft voice that she knew almost as well as she knew her own. "But he will need you like never before. It is only just beginning."

She took a deep breath. He had spoken to her often since he returned, but never had she felt like this, the comfort that only he could give her. _Was he his old self at last?_

She looked to her side and was shocked to see no one there. When she did locate Gorlois, he was sitting by Morgana. He had been nowhere near her. What was going on?

Gorlois winked at Igraine and smirked under his breath. He hoped Uther had a clear vision in the underworld of his golden boy marrying a servant. Well, actually, she a nobleman's bastard daughter. Then, again servant sounds better. Yes, everything was on track to for chaos to reign in Camelot. Emrys was enamored with the future queen.

_Goodness, I hope Merlin has some of Balinor traits. Balinor would just seduce the young Queen during a moment of sorrow._

Actually, he was quite pleased with Arthur. He had Uther's mean nature. His soul flirted with darkness. Merlin on the other hand was such a disciple of the light, it gave him a headache. He was growing tired of this assignment. Merlin and Arthur needed to join them quickly.

"I can't believe he is actually marrying a servant, when a more worthy woman was under his nose."

Morgana smiled. "If you are offended on my behalf Father, please don't be. Arthur has never been anything more to me then a brother, I do not love him. Besides, I have no desire to be any man's wife."

"Wife no, but Queen? Come on my sweet, you must admit that there is great power in being Arthur's Queen. Can you imagine what Arthur would have accomplished with you at his side? How strong your sons would have been? Now… what a tragedy for us all."

"Yes, Father. I suppose in a way it is."

Gorlois patted his daughter hand. Morgana was easy to seduce to their cause. What a weak hapless woman. Yes, she claimed to be strong and fearless. Igraine was stronger than Morgana.

She smiled at him as he forced himself to smile back.

_I'm growing bored fathering Gorlois' brat._

Morded was correct in his statements. Arthur had grown soft because of this girl. She reduced him to a puddle of morning mush. Her morning oatmeal had more strength. And Lancelot, how he disappointed her. He actually, wanted to be married? She would not spend her life subservient to a man. That was for women like Gwen and Igraine. No, she dreamed of fighting and glory on the battlefield. Leave the babies and marital bliss to Arthur's child bride. But Arthur would return to his old self soon. She just had to wait. Arthur will get bored with domestic bliss. It was in his blood to conquer and control. Yes, soon the real Arthur would resurface in Camelot.

Edwin and Wesley slowed down the wedding procession. Wesley clasped Gwen's hand and begged for her eternal love. He promised to meet Arthur in the gardens and fight for her honor. Edwin rolled his eyes in embarrassment. Sometimes, he wondered if Tatiana kidnapped his child at birth. Maybe, a calm little druid monk lived in the fairy world. Gwen pressed her lips to his trembling young cheek and expressed her undying devotion, telling him that a part of heart would always belong to Wesley, not Arthur. Wesley happily embraced his lady love and led her to her future husband or him, as Wesley called Arthur the Big Ole Meany.

Lenore knew her coffers would not run bare during the winter. Arthur loved his little mouse. He needed those deep liquid brown eyes to melt at his embrace. He needs her soft words of adoration. However, mice run from big bad cats, his little flower would shrink the first time Arthur yelled at her. Yes, Lenore smiled seductively at the thought of touching Arthur's hard flat chest. He already slipped; she just had to wait for a moment of weakness.

Merlin blinked away tears as his fingers twisted around Gwen's. Tears blinded his vision as he marveled at Gwen. She was exquisites. He felt her nerves. He brushed his lips against her trembling brow.

"Don't be afraid. He loves you. It's destiny, Gwen."

"I know, but I'm losing you."

"Never, I'm forever your faithful friend. Forever and ever."

Gwen wrapped her hand around Merlin's as he gently directed her to the garden's entrance. The crowds of people around Camelot fell silent as Gwen's regal figure appeared. Hope breathed among the common people of Camelot. Finally, they had a voice.

Arthur bit his lip when he saw Gwen approaching with Merlin. He blinked away tears.

_No sign of weakness in front of others. _

His dark blue eyes met Merlin's when he spotted their entwined hands. Merlin arched his eyebrow as he wrapped Gwen's hand around his forearm. Arthur noticed Gwen lowering her eyes.

"Not the time for nervous, Little Bit. Come to me."

Gwen exhaled as she stared down the aisle towards Arthur. She blinked away tears as she saw love shining in Arthur's eyes. She felt Merlin's lips brushing her cheek as Arthur's warm hand enclosed hers. She lost her nerves, the moment that she stared into Arthur's sapphire blue eyes. His warm hands gave her strength and eased her fears. She could remember uttering words in agreement. She felt the cool metal of her ring as Arthur slid it on her finger.

Arthur's voice caught as he promised to love and honor Guinevere. He want scream in joy when she consented to be his wife. He trembled when Gwen brushed a tear from his face. He felt like they were the only people in the world. He heard Geoffrey mumbled that he could kiss his bride. Arthur gently cupped Gwen's face as he slightly titled her head. His lips brush her ever so softly. He felt Guinevere smiling against his lips.

Cheers, cries of Joys filled the air as the belles toll signaling his marriage to Guinevere.

He wrapped her hands around his arms as they walked toward the feast.

Finally, she was his and nothing would ever separate them again.

The fairies sprinkled fairy dust across Camelot. They painted the sky brilliant colors as the sun started to fade.

Leon watched his new Queen with a feeling of indescribable pride. He only wished that Elaine was here to see it.

Lancelot was in a corner flirting with a very pretty brunette and Morgana was on the other side of the room pretending not to notice. He didn't know where the two of them stood, but he prayed that Lancelot would never fall into her web again.

A loud giggle caught his attention. It was the Lady Lenore laughing and fanning herself as she held her own court with her enraptured friends. She looked gorgeous. Her pink dress clung to her body in all the right places and her long red hair crowned her hair in beautiful ringlets.

He could see why Arthur was drawn to her. But she did not belong here, not around Gwen who looked like such an angel in her pretty yellow frock.

He walked over to her. "Lenore."

Lenore bowed. The Lady Harriette bowed as well and right on cue the Lady Chesa moved up, her delicate white hand over her heart.

"Lord DuNobley, it is so good to see you," she said demurely.

"Lady Chesa," he said bowing.

"I see you are on your own," said Lenore. "Where is your mother?"

"She is not feeling well. I thought it best she stay in bed."

"Yes, an illness is going around," said Chesa, sighing softly. "I pray that she is alright."

"Thank you, milady."

"Of course," she said, looking at him from behind her blonde lashes.

She looked so beautiful, almost like a creature from another world. She was wearing a silver dress that rivaled anything that Morgana or even The Queen Mother had worn. Her long blonde hair flowed down her back her blue eyes seemed to be calling him. Why was he resisting her again?

"This is a wonderful occasion," said Lady Harriett.

The Lady Chesa scoffed. "Yes, a wonderful occasion, our Lord King has married a serving wench. All hail the new Camelot."

_Oh, that's why. _

Lady Harriett grabbed Chesa by the arm. "Chesa keep your voice down. You know how dangerous it is to talk about the Queen in this manner."

"I am only saying what everyone else is thinking. Besides, she is no queen of mine. And to think, Arthur could have had any of us and brought dignity to his great family."

"If I remember correctly, Arthur has had all of us and still he married Gwen," Lenore remarked.

The blood drained from Lady Chesa's face and Lady Harriett began to stammer.

"I'll have you know that unlike some of us, I am as untouched as the day I was born and I dare anyone to say otherwise."

"Me…me… to…" chimed in Lady Harriett.

"Let's go, Harriette. The company has suddenly become entirely unbearable." She rolled her eyes at Lenore, but flashed a smile for him. "I hope to see you soon, Sir Leon."

He barely waited for them to be out of earshot before he clapped his hands. "Well played Lady Oliander."

Lenore flipped a curl. "I can't stand hypocrisy. Gwen is a good girl. She doesn't deserve to be treated badly by us, nobles."

"Good. I hope that includes yourself as well."

"Pardon?"

Leon moved closer. "Stay away from Arthur. I won't let you hurt Gwen."

"I have no desire to hurt that sweet little lamb."

"Really, then why would you come to her wedding of all places given your relationship with him, if not to cause trouble?"

"Oh please, Leon. Half the women in this room has had a relationship with him, if he left out all the noble women, he bedded there would scarcely be anybody here!"

"You never change. I guess you can't. You are still that little trouble maker who married Richard and drove him to ruin."

Lenore went pale and for a brief moment he thought she was going to strike him, but her scowl soon turned into a chilling smile.

"And you are still the same self righteous prick you've always been."

Arthur sipped a goblet of wine as he watched the noble women paying frivolous compliments to his queen. Guinevere, Queen of Camelot. He was surprised by the absence of so many families, but he heard that many were ill. Better they stay home then subject his Little Bit to illness. He saw Lenore talking to Leon out of the corner of his eye and wished that illness had kept her in bed. He shook his head. He did not wish to think of his mistakes tonight.

The room was abuzz with how the common folks were dancing in the street and praising their King and Queen. He and Guinevere had appeared a few hours earlier on their balcony and promised a new era of peace and prosperity for all. And he meant it.

His large hand joined with Gwen's her eyes beaming with pride. He raised his goblet to Merlin as the younger man smiled. He noticed Guinevere hiding a yawn.

_Maybe, he should retire them for the night. _

That nosy Morgause waived Gwen's ladies away and personally ushered her from the room. He made a mental note to see why she and her family were still hanging around. He took another drink from his cup and smiled as his knights approached him.

Yes, it was time to begin his marriage.

Gwen blushed as Morgause brushed her hair and talked to her about her own wedding night.

"This really isn't necessary Morgause. Arthur and I… well we have done this before."

"Oh…OH! How?"

"Igraine went to visit her sister. Please don't think less of me."

"Nonsense. Arthur is quite handsome. Who could resist him?"

Gwen smiled. "He is wonderful, isn't he?"

Morgause kissed her hand. "Are you happy?"

"More than I ever thought I could be."

Morgause returned her smile and walked to the door. She turned around when her hand touched the knob. "Gwen."

"Yes?"

"You need not worry. You'll always be Gwen. That beautiful sweet girl isn't dead."

A slight chill filled their chamber. Gwen moved to fiddle with the hearth when she heard the door creak open. Calmly, Arthur dropped his jacket to the floor. He kicked his boots off. Gwen licked her lips nervously as he pulled his tunic over his shoulders, exposing his strong flat torso. Arthur's eyes roamed over her small body covered in sheer silk gown. Gwen blushed shyly as she felt the heat in Arthur's eyes. He walked over and pulled her to him.

"Don't be shy," Arthur whispered against her ear and she shook with longing. "I like when you trembled at my touch," he whispered, his lips trailing along her soft throat.

"I love you, Arthur, "Gwen moaned as his fingers untied her nightgown.

"I love you too."

Lenore could barely contain her disgust as Gorlois slide a goblet of wine toward her.

"Drink with me."

"Of course."

She smiled as he poured her a glass of wine and took a sip.

"Is it just me or all the nobles looking a little piqued today? Think it's the occasion?"

Lenore barely managed a shrug. She was in no mood for whatever game Lord Le Fay was playing today.

"There seems to be an illness floating around. My friend, Lady Rosa, had to be carried to her bed before the festivities."

"Poor girl. I hope she feels better."

Lenore rolled her eyes. "I'm sure."

"What does Aredian say?"

"No one can locate him."

"That is strange."

"Yes, it is."

Lord Lefay moved closer. "Do you think she'll conceive a royal brat tonight?"

Lenore waved her hands nonchalantly. "That's her job."

"And with the King occupied for the night, it would appear that you are out of a job for tonight. But that doesn't mean that you have to be alone."

Lenore leaned forward and touched Lord Lefay's hand. "As tempting as that invitation is, I'm going to have to pass."

Lord Lefay's mouth twisted in anger. "Your loss." He flicked her hand away and got up. She watched him go and wondered what he was really up to and why he seemed to be so concerned about Arthur.

_Gods, she had a headache._

Arthur gently traced Gwen's thighs as he moved gently inside her. Her soft moans filled the room. His lips nuzzled her neck as she clutched his shoulders tightly. Their legs entwined as Arthur struggled to imprint himself on Gwen's soul.

"Gods," he moaned. The sensation of being inside her was overwhelming and he knew that he could never bear to be parted from her again. "I knew that night that you gave me your innocence that you were mine and mine alone. I can still remember how your legs trembled. How you moaned with pleasure as I took your breast in my mouth, how you clung to me when you felt for the first time what it truly meant to be loved by me."

He pulled her hips up so that he could slide even deeper as he released his juices into her body and smiled when he felt her reach her own release.

Afterwards, Arthur wrapped Gwen's quivering warm body in his arms. He traced idle circles on her damp shoulders. His lips brushed soft kisses on her brow.

"Are you okay, Guinevere?"

"Wonderful," she murmured sleepily. Her small hand opened on his chest as she nuzzled deeper into his embrace. He listened quietly as her breath became steady and deep and kissed the top of her head. Words were not enough to express just how grateful he was to have her back in his arms. He meant what he told Merlin earlier. He would devote his life to ensuring her happiness.

"I will protect you from everyone Guinevere including" he said softly stroking her hair," even myself."


	14. Chapter 14

Warning: Adult story, don't read if you're not a legal adult in your country!

Gwen smiled seductively at Arthur as she stretched like a cat. Her fingers traced his hard cheekbones. His chest pressed hard against her soft breasts. "You have to go," she whimpered as her lips brushed his ear.

Arthur laid her on her back and gripped her soft thigh as he plunged slowly inside of Gwen's warm body. "They can wait," he gritted.

His warm mouth suckled her hard nipples. Gwen gasped in shock as Arthur increased his movements and pressed hard into her soft body. Her head strained as she whined his name in pleasure. The look of ecstasy on her face inflamed his own and he felt himself moving harder and faster inside of her. Arthur slowed his movements when a tear trickled from Gwen's eye.

_Slow down you monster, he thought, willing himself to slow down. She's not a common whore. _

Gwen's hand gripped the bed clothes as she writhed beneath Arthur's deep thrusts. Her moans mingled with his harsh grunts. She felt a tear escape as she felt a feeling well up inside her that she never felt before. Arthur had never been like this with her before, even in his most amorous moments he had always been in control. This side of him excited her and…and…she heard herself scream his name.

Arthur smiled against her throat as she clutched his back hard and screamed her release in his ear. He lips crushed Gwen's as he poured his essence in her womb.

Arthur brushed soft kisses along her brow and smiled as Gwen lay breathless. Since they were married three months ago there had not been a night when they had not committed their bodies to one another and Arthur planned on continuing to fill Gwen with his seed until it took hold and her belly was swollen with his heir.

"I love you," he said, pulling her closer, so that he could hear how her heart beat just for him.

"I love you too Arthur, only you, forever."

Morgana sat crossly in the Council Room waiting on Arthur to arrive. She watched Leon, Lancelot, Gawain, and Percival idly conversing about the happenings around Camelot. Morgana was all too happy to be left out of the conversation. She had no interest in talking about the dying nobles. The plague was unfortunate, but nature always has a way of weeding out the weak. She did not want to focus on Camelot's citizens. They did not matter. There would be plenty of other nobles in foreign lands to replace them. What mattered was conquering Albion.

_Why couldn't they see that? _

Still, she couldn't lay all the blame at the knights' feet. They were only following their leader. Arthur now cared about little else than being in that servant's bed. Did they not see the bad influence that Gwen, she refused to call her Guinevere, had on their King? Well everyone else may bow and scrape to that chit, but she would not elevate her above her status. The girl was nothing but a noble bastard playing Queen, at her expense, No, at Camelot's and Albion's expense. Arthur needed to come to his senses. He had focus before the girl gave in to him - he dreamed of little else but a united Albion under Pendragon rule with his faithful knights by his side.

"Where is he?" Morgan spat impatiently, no longer able to control her disgust.

Lancelot smiled stupidly in her direction. Leon turned his head in distaste.

"Morgana," Gawain chastised. "He's newly married. He has not yet had his fill of marital bliss. He'll be here, when he has the strength."

Morgana curled her lips in disgust as the knights started laughing.

Lancelot grabbed a few maps, "Our dear King is not the only one who can run a meeting. Let's review our secure areas. I can give the report without him."

"You can?" Morgana snorted. "I always thought you relied on Arthur to think for you."

The other knights grew quiet as Lancelot's dark eyes solemnly met her fiery green.

"I know it is customary for unmarried shrews to become bitter with their cold beds and increasingly fading charms, but you'll always have your sword to keep you warm at night."

Morgana gave him a toothless grin. "A better and more satisfying companion then any I ever had."

"Never a colder place to sheath a sword, milady," Lancelot responded.

Gawain laughed heartily as the blood drained from Morgana's face.

Lancelot turned his attention back to table, his large hands smoothing old crinkling maps. She could not help remember when his hands would roam over her body, how they would bring her such pleasure. But those days were over. Lancelot was a fellow knight. She would not submit her needs to him.

Igraine clutched her handkerchief to her mouth as she left the castle walls. She walked towards the lower ward and smiled at a crying little girl sitting outside a small house. Igraine recognized her as a servant in the Feruta household. The Lady Feruta had died last night after weeks of battling the plague. Diana was never her favorite person, but her heart went out to her and her family. Thankfully, her young daughters showed no signs of being sick.

Igraine sighed.

She had spent too many days the last few months comforting those who had lost loved ones in this horrible new plague. Thankfully, it had not reached the middle or lower wards, but she feared that it was only a matter of time. Arthur had ordered her and Gwen to remain in the castle, but her people were suffering and Igraine would not hide away when they needed her the most. But there was another reason she defied her son's orders. For as long as she could remember, she had a gift for healing, something that she inherited from her mother. Her fathered always bragged that his queen was more knowledgeable and more effective then the Royal Physician.

She smiled, grateful that she had managed to keep a piece of the mother that she never knew inside her.

She hoped that her natural gifts could help Aredian find a cure.

Gwen watched Arthur brush his damp hair. Quickly, he pulled a blue tunic over his muscular chest. His chamber had a slight chill as autumn was slowly fading into winter. She pulled the sheet tighter around her breasts as she snuggled against the pillows.

Arthur stomped hurriedly towards the bed. His lips caught hers in a deep passionate kiss. Her tiny fingers twisted in his hair.

"No, I have to go," Arthur commanded as he pulled reluctantly from her embrace. "Remember, do not leave the castle."

Gwen frowned in displeasure.

"Yes, My Lord King. I'm not to leave the castle. Not even to go visit the fairies."

Arthur and Tatiana had a loud challenging relationship. Her children were underfoot and nosy according to her beloved. Arthur constant yelled at them. In return, he found ungodly surprises in his boots, wardrobe, and food.

Arthur sat by the bed and touched her hands. "Guinevere, you must stay in the castle. This illness seems to have no rhyme or reason and I will not allow you to become ill."

Gwen cocked an eyebrow. "You will not allow me to become ill? Are you ordering the gods around now?"

Arthur smiled. "Your safety is my only concern. Staying within these walls is the only way to ensure that."

He stared intently at her until he got the answer he wanted.

"Yes, Arthur. I know that you are right," she smiled.

He kissed her again and got up. "I will try not to be too late. I will have Harry bring our dinner in here."

"Again? I was hoping that we could dine with Igraine tonight."

"Mother sent word that she is not feeling well."

Gwen shot up, concern threatening to overtake her.

"Do not worry Little Bit. It is just a headache. She is fine."

She let out a loud sigh. "I am glad to hear that what about Morg…" The look he gave her stopped her midsentence.

"Don't you spend enough time with that woman?"

Gwen shook her head, shocked at his animosity against her friend.

"What is it that Morgause has done to make you dislike her so?"

Arthur shrugged. "Nothing, but all appearances she is a noble woman, you and Mother certainly thinks so."

"But?"

"But she unnerves me. I find the fact that she has magic disturbing."

"Since when do you have problems with magic?"

"Magical allies are one thing Guinevere but magic in enemies…"

"Morgause is not your enemy!"

Arthur smiled.

"I must go. I will see you tonight at dinner.

She smiled at him as he shut the door. The minute he was gone; her smile faded. Gwen hated being under Arthur's watchful eye. When she wasn't with him, she had her handmaidens to deal with, and when the occasion arose, her ladies in waiting, who resented every moment of having to attend to her needs. Then, there were the royal escorts. Merlin and Arthur agreed that Gwen needed to be accompanied by a guard. At all times, her movements were supervised. She felt like a bird in a beautiful cage.

She wanted to fly again.

Oh, well, there were still things that she could do around the castle.

_I'll pick a few acorns for Morgause and Wesley, then I will visit Igraine and see if she is feeling any better. _

Gwen slipped on her robe as she called for her maid," Bernadette."

Bernadette nervously entered, clutching a small piece of parchment in her young hands. Her blue eyes were filled with uncertainty.

"Milady, I grabbed it before the King could see it."

Nervously, Gwen eyed the paper. They appeared everyday in her chamber by her door, on her dresser, and next to her bed. She tried to stop her own hands from shaking as she read yet another note from her anonymous tormenter. They were from _him_. She just knew it. Somehow he had found a way into Camelot and was now leaving dirty messages for her to find.

_How did he get them here?_

Camelot was impenetrable. There must be a traitor within their walls. She knew that she should tell Arthur, but she feared his reaction. He'd stop at nothing to find the traitor, even if innocence were hurt in the process. She also knew that he would become even more controlling and limit the tiny bits of freedom that she still enjoyed.

Gwen blinked as she tightened her sash.

"What does it say your Majesty?"

Gwen looked back down to the parchment.

"I'm always with you."

Quickly, Bernadette grabbed the paper from her and moved in front of the hearth. She dropped the parchment into a kindling fire. It is what she had commanded her to do ever since she found the first note two months ago. Bernadette wanted to alert the king, but Gwen was able to play on her fear of Arthur's fierce temper.

"_But if the King were to discover that I kept this from him…"_

"_He won't," she said. "He'll never know."_

Gwen felt a wave of nausea grip her body. She clamped a hand over her mouth as she ran to a clean pot, her body heaved as she lost the contents of her stomach. Bernadette calmly wiped a clean cloth against her forehead.

"Your Majesty, you have been ill for days now, please let me find the Court Physician."

Gwen took a deep breath to settle her stomach. Aredian was not her favorite person and the feeling was more than mutual. Before they were married, Arthur had banished him for something he said about her, words that Arthur refused to repeat to her, it was only Igraine's begging that he would leave the people without a Physician that changed Arthur's mind. He allowed him to stay, but he was never again in The King's favor and Aredian reeked with bitterness over his lessened role in Court.

"It's the notes, Bernadette. They turn my stomach."

Bernadette nodded. "Are you sure that you aren't with child?"

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Bernadette, have you forgotten last week? My time was quite dreadful."

Bernadette nodded as she lowered her eyes.

"Bernadette, what's troubling you, there is a sadness that I know has nothing to do with these silly notes."

"The Lady Feruta died last night milady."

Gwen gasped. She would light a candle for her two small daughters.

Bernadette walked over to her. "If anything were to happen to you milady…"

"I'm not sick, Bernadette. I promise. You don't need to worry."

Bernadette curtsied. "I'll fix your bath."

Gwen sat sadly on her bed. Idly, she brushed away a tear.

_I promised not to keep secrets from Arthur. I'm already betraying him. He has so much on his mind. The notes will infuriate him and with this plague raging he'll restrict my movements even further. I just don't know what to do anymore._

Igraine stopped when she reached Aredian's home, her attention focused on a voice coming from inside that she recognized. She around the side of the house and looked through the window. She couldn't believe what she was seeing. Gorlois was holding Aredian by his shirt, his face dark and menacing. Aredian was saying something, but she couldn't hear what it was.

She moved closer.

"You can trust me, I'll never tell…" Aredian stammered.

"I know you won't," he said, shoving him to the ground.

Gorlois towered over Aredian's form, he leaned down and continued her tirade he was once again talking too low for her to hear his words but the look on his face was unmistakable. She jumped when he jumped up and turned abruptly in her direction.

Igraine quickly moved out of his eyesight and held her breath. She waited until she heard the front door slam and moved towards the front in time to see Gorlois stalking off. She could not believe the man that she just saw was her Gorlois. He had always been the most noble man that she had known, so gentle and caring with people. He chose to get his point across with words and only used force when necessary. This was not her Gorlois. Something was wrong and she owed it to Arthur and Morgana to find out what. He had too much access to the people she cared about. She would not let him hurt her children.

Merlin studied Morgana's face as she looked at him with disdain. She had been in a foul mood all afternoon. He noticed twitches of displeasure whenever Arthur spoke about tending to domestic issues. She smiled pure malice at Leon, faithful Leon, who was not impressed with her ideas.

"Arthur, tell me again why a servant boy is allowed to sit in on a Roundtable meeting."

The knights all turned to look at him. He could see in their eyes that they were all thinking the same thing.

Arthur leaned forward. "I'd much rather discuss when a Knight of my Roundtable was given permission to second guess the decisions of their King."

Morgana titled her head. "These are delicate matters milord. I see great danger in a buffoon knowing important military information."

_Buffoon?_ Merlin had enough of her disrespect.

"Lady Morgana, perhaps it is lost on you that I spent the summer navigating the kingdoms beyond Camelot's bordered while you were safely nestled within its walls."

Lancelot smiled. "So true."

Morgana's eyes grew cold. "That is right; you and Gwen did have quite the adventure, just the two of you, against the world. The things you to must have seen and _done_."

The blood drained out of Merlin and Lancelot's faces.

"Morgana that is enough!" Arthur warned.

"What? I am merely agreeing with Merlin. He and the queen spent a lot of time alone together in the elements. Those types of things change you and tap into things inside you, dangerous things."

"And what things are you referring too?" Arthur asked tensely.

"Why his magic, of course."

Arthur relaxed, but Merlin did not. He knew damn well that she was not referring to his magic.

_Had he been so obvious in his feelings for Gwen? Did Arthur know? No, he couldn't he was still breathing, but if he did find out he'd never let him anywhere near Gwen again._

He looked back at Morgana. She smiled at his discomfort.

"Then, you've answered your own question," said Arthur. "Merlin is Emrys and he has chosen to use his gifts ho help Camelot, some of that help may occur in the battlefield, gods help us, which is why he is here."

Merlin watched Morgan's face light up. "Arthur, are you saying, what I think you're saying? Are you finally ready to unite Albion?"

Her slender hard arms folded across her chest. Her red mouth twisted with impatient. She sat upright in her chair, in an effort to symbolize her importance.

Arthur leaned back.

"Uniting Albion will have to wait a few years, Morgana. I need to secure Camelot for our people and Guinevere needs to provide me with an heir to ensure my legacy."

"But, now is the time to strike. Ever since you conquered Alined, the other kings have been quaking in their boots. Their people see how much Alined's populace have prospered under Pendragon rule. The masses will welcome you with open arms."

Arthur chuckled.

"Morgana, you sound like a naive woman. Maybe, I should let Guinevere make decisions for Camelot. War is never that simple. Even if we had the support of our enemies' people, we could spend months in battle. I cannot be separated from Guinevere for that long, especially with Morded roaming the countryside."

Morgana quickly masked her distaste, but not quick enough for Merlin to miss it.

"Of course, Arthur."

Merlin made a mental note of her reaction. She was dangerous, a threat to Gwen. Morgana didn't realize that he was no buffoon. Morgana need to tread carefully in Camelot, he would not allow her to harm Gwen.

Gwen stood by the gate and watched as the people walked by. She closed her eyes and imagined that she was back in her little home. She did not have many happy memories of growing up in The Lower Ward, but she did miss the freedom of running through town with Merlin as the people scoffed at their antics. As much as she loved Arthur, she missed those simple days.

"Gwen!"

The sound of her name startled her. No one but Merlin had used it since she married Arthur. The young girl continued to run towards her from the town.

"Gwen…I mean Your Majesty. I beg your apology."

She bowed deeply.

"Please Lara; there is nothing to apologize for."

"Thank you."

She helped her up and looked into her sad eyes.

"What is troubling you?"

"My Lady is sick."

"The Plague?"

"No, but deadly just the same. She has an illness that I have seen only once before, horrible but curable with a potion."

"Then, why do you not just buy the potion?"

"My Lady has fallen on hard times Gw…Majesty. She cannot afford the charge. She can barely afford to eat, her household now consists of me and another girl and we agree to work for less pay. I am lucky that my husband's business is doing so well.

"Charging? Gaius never charged for potions."

"No, gods rest his soul, but Lord Aredian does. He is charging 20 gold coins. He says that he cannot afford to make the potion for any less. She does not have it and she is too prideful to ask anyone else for it. I am afraid without the potion that she'll die. I love my mistress; she has been good to me and my family. When she was doing well, she paid to get my father out of debt. I cannot stand to watch her suffer."

Gwen took her hands in hers. "It will be alright, Lara."

Lara lived in the Middle Ward and been one of the few people who had ever been nice to her before she caught the eye of Prince Arthur. She would never forget how she held her hand at her parents' funeral and slept with her for weeks afterwards to keep the loneliness at bay.

"I will do what I can. I will go to Aredian myself. Come to my chambers tonight, and I will have a remedy for your Lady."

"Thank you Gwen," she said, kissing her hand.

She watched her friend walk off and put her hand on her head. Arthur would go insane if he knew she was going into town.

"_He'll yell at you."_

"Get out of my head! It is my duty to look after our people."

She saw Justin coming towards her and pretended to double over in pain.

"Milady!" He exclaimed running over.

Gwen continued the farce. "I'm sorry," she said, pretending to get her bearings. I just need some air."

"Of course, milady."

She put her hand up as he reached for her. "Alone."

Justin looked at her sympathetically. "The King has forbidden that."

"The King has forbidden me to leave the castle alone. I'm just going for a walk in the gardens. Please, I have not been alone for one second since I returned to Camelot. I feel as if I am going insane."

Justin nodded. "I will be right here if you need me."

"Thank you, Justin."

She walked towards the guardians and waited until he was distracted by another guard. As soon as his head was turned she briskly walked towards the gates and kept walking as fast as she could.

_I need to help Arthur's subjects. I can prove that I'm a worthy queen. I can handle things by myself._

Justin watched as the sun began to go down. He knew that Queen Guinevere would want to stay out longer, but the King did not like her to be outside after dark. He had his orders. He was to get her situated with her maids and then come to the throne room for his nightly report on the Queen's day. He hated spying on her. Often, he discussed Queen Guinevere's unhappiness with Henry one of her other guards. They tried their best to ensure her happiness and protection, but she rarely smiled. Justin was tempted to take her horseback riding or anything to make her smile. He heard rumors about the ugliness of the summer. He noticed that Gwen's dark eyes would go blank or she would grab his arm suddenly for reassurance.

He walked towards the gardens and called her name.

"Your Majesty, it's time to return to your chambers."

He waited for a minute and there was no answer. He ran towards the garden and stopped when he did not see her. Usually, she sat like a statue waiting for birds in the icy cold garden, but her small figure was absent. His heart beat wildly as he pushed bushes away to search for his queen. He spotted Henry arriving for his late night duty.

"Henry!" Justin screamed.

The young lad rushed towards his distressed friend.

"Our queen is missing. She never made it to the gardens."

Color drained from Henry's handsome face. "Did she pass out?'

"What?"

"There are times when fear overtakes her, and she passes out. Usually, I carry her back to her chamber and she takes a long nap."

"You never told me that."

"I thought she did it with you. She's not well, Justin. The King doesn't acknowledge that she's sick. "

"Does he know?"

"She begged me not to tell him."

"Henry, why would you agree to keep such a thing a secret?"

"Maybe for the reason that you let her go to the gardens alone."

Justin nodded. "Henry, what happened over the summer?"

Henry looked around. "Lord Morded, King Odin's nephew, almost beat her to death. She told me one day as her lips trembled and her body shook with terror."

Justin's eyes closed in fear. "We have to find her. Gerry! Hinkle!" He called for the closest guards

They ran over.

"The Queen is missing; send every available guard you have to search the castle and the entire city."

The two nodded as Justin dashed towards the castle.

"Justin, check her chambers," said Henry. "I'll go to her old house. Sometimes, she forgets and goes to there."

"I pray she is safely in her chambers or in her house."

"And if she isn't."

"I'll have to tell The King otherwise."

Arthur would never tell Merlin this, but he liked his company. Maybe, it was because he had never had a court jester and he found Merlin's antics to be amusing, being around him just seemed to lighten his load.

"Merlin, I know what Morgana thinks about me refocusing my concentration on Camelot, not Albion, but I want to know what you think."

"You do?"

"Yes."

And he did.

Merlin seemed to always be able to give him honest advice, idiotic, but honest.

"War is an ugly thing Sire, but no one can deny that the people of Alined and Camelot are lucky to have you as a Sovereign. Others may disagree with your methods, but I think that it is your destiny to be a great king and to unite this land, and that when you are ready, it will be an honor for everyone in Albion of you to follow where you lead."

Arthur looked at him, shocked by his words.

"Merlin, sometimes you say things that aren't entirely stupid."

Merlin smirked and rolled his eyes. "Thanks Sire."

He raised his glass. "To new beginnings." He downed his ale and watched as Merlin downed his, coughing like a little boy when his glass was empty. He laughed and patted him on the back. "I'll make a man out of you, yet."

He went back to his papers and looked up when he heard the door open.

"Carl," he said, calling to a servant behind him. "Bring us more drinks. Justin sit with us, tell me about my Lady's day."

Justin shifted around uncomfortably.

Merlin noticed fear in the young man's face.

"Sire…It's the Queen," Justin said, not looking at him.

Arthur's smile fell and he felt Merlin tense beside him.

"What about her? SPEAK!" Arthur demanded, the fear in his chest rising.

"She is missing milord."

Arthur felt his world shatter, again.


	15. Chapter 15

Igraine leaned against a stone cold wall as her blue eyes lingered over Uther's portrait. She remembered his gentle touch, kind words, and his loving embrace. She could not deny that she had some happy times with him, before she realized that her husband was a monster, a cruel, dominating, abusive monster.

_Had Uther's cruelty changed Gorlois? Did his years away harden his once good noble heart? Or maybe it was her fault. Did their night of indiscretion send him of a path of guilt and remorse? _

It was all so confusing; sometimes, she heard his deep, soft masculine voice urged her to preserve and believe in faith. Yet, Gorlois was a cranky prat when she dealt with him in the flesh. It was like he lost his soul. No, Gorlois was a noble, kind man, unlike Uther, he would never submit to the dark side. Somewhere lingering in his heart goodness lived.

Igraine shot Uther one last look of disgust. Uther had been dead for so long but he still haunted the castle. She loved her son, but sometimes she saw too much of his father in him. Despite his love for Gwen, he still exhibited a brutal side that was the result of years of training by Uther to be cold and take what he wanted no matter what the consequences. She prayed every night that her son would never allow the darkness breed in him by that monster to consume him. 

She felt guilty, but she was glad he was dead, for her children's sake. Had he not died, Morgana would have been married off to a foreign prince for an army and some mead; Arthur would be a cold blooded killer… wait, Arthur is a cold blooded killer. Igraine shook her head in shame. I could have done more to protect him. My sweet Gwen would have been his mistress. Uther would have never allowed them to marry, but Igraine knew that nothing could have stopped them from coming together, not titles, not blood, and not anything. Perhaps her baby girl was blessed to be spared even one day of knowing Uther Pendragon, the great king of Camelot. More like a menace from Hades. Lucky for him, he was back where he belonged. Igraine's pressed her lips tightly. Would she have had my eyes or smile? Would her he be blonde or a golden brown like Uther's?

The thought of her baby girl made her dizzy. She stumbled into the drapes, trying to beat back all the bad memories. She wrapped her herself in the heavy velvet drapes. She was embarrassed when she found herself twisted in Camelot's royal drapes like a fading sunset. How could the Queen mother trap herself in drapes? Heavy heels clicked along the marble floors. Igraine squeezed her eyes shut in mortification. Her ears perked when she heard Arthur's masculine voice. 

"Where is she?" He demanded, his body quivering with rage. 

"What?" She looked at her stricken son with concern.

"My wife! Where is my wife?" He screamed, unwrapping her from a soft drape, and peeking through the drapes. I swear Mother if you have anything to do with this…"

She opened her mouth to speak as Arthur looked in the drapes and then began to tear the room apart. To her surprise it was Merlin who was able to get him to stop.

"Arthur, that's enough. You shouldn't talk to your mother like that." Merlin swallowed nervously as he waited a painful blow.

Arthur snarled at the young man. "Who are you to tell me how to talk to my mother?"

"Arthur," Merlin calmly reasoned, "I know that you are worried about Gwen. We all are, but don't let your fear lead you to say something that you don't mean and that you'll regret after you regain your composure." Merlin stared firmly at his young King.

Arthur looked at Merlin for a minute and nodded as he sighed. "You are right, Merlin. Mother, I am sorry."

Igraine touched her son's arm in amazement. She had never seen him take counsel from anyone, not even Gwen. Igraine's heart raced.

"Arthur, what is going on? What's wrong?"

"Guinevere is missing."

Igraine twisted the soft fabric in her hands nervously "No!"

She loved Gwen so much. From the moment she was born she felt that she, not Raya, was her true mother. She could not bear the thought of losing her. Her son squeezed her hand. 

"I was hoping that she'd be here with you or that you had sent her somewhere. I know that she had been feeling trapped lately, she does not understand how important it is for her to stay behind these castle walls and she had turned to you before…"

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I haven't seen her in days. She wasn't allowed to be near me. You were afraid that I carried the illness." 

Arthur's blonde head dropped. "I can't believe that this is happening again. I'm going to lose her again."

Merlin looked at Arthur, his voice strong and resolute. "We'll find her Arthur."

"Yes, we will and if someone took her I will make them suffer like no one has ever suffered before."

A coldness seeped into Igraine's soul as darkness covered Arthur's bright blue eyes.

Galahad taped his legs happily against Leon's broad chest as his little fingers tugged Leon's dark blonde mane. Leon walked along the drafty hall as sun rays left into the dark drafty castle. Galahad's laughter floated bounced around the empty lonely halls. His melody broke the ice covering Leon's battered heart. Today was Elaine's birthday and missed her so much that his whole body ached. He would give anything to see her sweet smile and feel her head on his shoulder as she talked about her dreams for the future, dreams that were lost when she was lost to him. For as long as he lived he would always feel as if he failed her

"Ouch," he said, as Galahad pulled his hair sharply and giggled.

He pressed a small kisses in Leon's hair.

"Leon the Lion King," he whispered, pretending to growl as he played with his hands.

Leon's heart melted. He never thought he would have a child utter such an endearment to him. He never found another woman to love after Morgana crushed his young love for her. Galahad was the son he never thought he'd have. Leon picked him up and whirled him around as he rounded a corner quickly. Galahad squealed in delight. Leon stopped suddenly as he spotted Lancelot on the training field sparring with another knight. He was moving like his sword was a part of his body. Lancelot was the best fighter he had ever seen, even better than Arthur, and he always admired the way his body moved in battle, the graceful way his hands wielded a sword and the power in his legs. He looked at his brother, his eyes fixated on his friend.

Lancelot easily knocked Sir Ethan down and they laughed as he offered him a hand. When Ethan left, Lancelot turned his attentions to him and waved for him and Galahad to join him.

Galahad tugged Leon's hair roughly. His giggling caught Lancelot's attention. A wide smile broke on his handsome face. Deep brown eyes met deep brown eyes, Galahad smiled brightly

"One day I am going to be the greatest knight in Camelot."

"Really?"

"Yes, even greater than you."

Lancelot's smile widened.

"That's a tall order. If I were you, I'd set your sights lower, now your Uncle, there is a knight you can beat."

Leon idly shook his head. "Shut up."

Lancelot kneeled down and took a training stick out of a nearby bin and handed it to Galahad. "Why don't you take this and practice on the field. I want to see the competition."

Galahad lit up as he did what Lancelot asked.

"Leon, your young man has grown," Lancelot said, looking at him.

'Yes, he brings us such joy."

"A proud heir for you." Lancelot touched his shoulder. "And an amazing little fighter. It is almost as if I am looking at myself at a young age."

Leon laughed. "You wish. Not even you possessed such skill at his tender age, but I agree with you, he is magical."

Galahad squealed as his mighty blows fell a worn practice dummy.

"He looks just like Elaine."

There was no missing the wistfulness in Lancelot's voice.

"Yes, I feel her spirit very much on him. It eases the pain, but nothing will ever make up for her life."

"Yes, she was one of a kind."

"I did it," said Galahad running towards Leon. "I slay the bad guy."

"Yes, you did," said Lancelot, messing his hair. "You will be a great warrior one day."

Galahad imitated Leon's bow after watching him a million times

Lancelot offered his hand and Galahad took it.

"Till we meet again, Sir Galahad," Lancelot said, shaking his small hand firmly.

Lancelot's dark eyes noticed a group of guards rushing past him. "What's wrong, David," Lancelot called as a group of boys rushed past him.

"Queen Guinevere is missing."

Lancelot's heart dropped. He ignored Leon's voice as he dashed towards the forest.

Henry watched Bernadette knitting from their front window and waved from her to come out. She nodded and put her needle and string on the table and kissed their two little sisters as she came to the door.

"Henry, what is it? Mother will be expecting her soup."

He looked at his sister intently and pulled her closer. "The Queen is missing."

"What? Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"But, how is that possible? The King makes sure that someone is with her at all times!"

"I don't know, but I was hoping that you might have some idea where she is."

"No…I …how could I."

He eyed her suspiciously. Bea only stuttered when she was trying to hide something.

"Bea, what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing," she said, not meeting his gaze.

"Bea," he said, gently grabbing her arm. "If you know something about The Queen, you must tell me. The King is my master and it is my duty to help him in all things."

Bea began shaking her head wildly. "I know that. But just as The King is your master, The Queen is my mistress and it is my duty to protect her secrets."

He gritted his teeth angrily. She did know something. Did she not understand what The King would do to her if something happened to Guinevere and she knew something that could prevent it?

"This is not a game Bea you know how protective The King is of her."

"Can you say her name? She's still Gwen."

"Gwen is dead to us. She's Queen Guinevere of Camelot."

"That's why she has secrets. She's still Gwen. Gwen, our childhood friend."

"Where is she," Henry gritted as he grabbed Bea's wrist. "Tell me. He will cause great pain over her disappearance."

"Yes, I do. I know more than anyone. I am her handmaiden after all. It is too bad that all his worrying and security appears to be doing nothing to keep her safe. Just making her withdrawn and miserable."

"Bea…"

"Henry!" Gerry cried out, running toward him with another guard. "The Queen was spotted in the Middle Ward earlier.

Henry eyed his sister as she let out a loud sigh. She definitely knew something that she wasn't saying.

"This isn't over, Bea," he said, heading out to find his Queen.

Aredian sat in his chair and gulped down his last bit of mead. Not too long ago he would spend such an evening at The King's banquet table eating the finest of meats and drinking ale until morning, now he was lucky if he got to walk past the castle, let alone go to court. He picked up the latest bag of coins that he got from those idiots peasants who he was forced to service and smiled.

_At least all was not bleak. _

He looked at his table and saw a delicate brown leather glove. He fought back an urge to toss it in the fire. When she came through his door earlier demanding that he heal the Lady Yazmine he all but laughed in her face. She may lead The King around by the nose but he would not order him around. He was determined to hold his ground, but he was not prepared for the firmness in her voice and the seriousness of her threats. He was not prepared to see a Queen peering at him through those large brown doe eyes.

"_Why you do not help me? If I tell Arthur, he will make your life miserable." She looked around. "Well. More miserable then it's become. He banished you already. Help me and I'll speak with him."_

_She was right. All she had to do was run back to that besotted fool with tales of his unhelpfulness and all would be ruined. Foolish girl, wasting her power on helping others. She could encourage Arthur to conquer the known lands._

_He smiled._

"_For someone who has spent their entire life in servitude, you have gotten use to wielding power rather quickly." _

_She cocked her head in a way that made her looked more regal than she was. _

"_The only power I wish to wield is the power to help others, now do as I ask and give me that potion."_

_He stormed over to his cabinet and grabbed a small bottle. When he walked back and put it in her hand, the encouraging smile on her face disgusted him._

"_Thank you," she said, taking off her gloves._

_He nodded and took a hard look at her face. For the life of him he'd never understand what Arthur saw in this girl._

"_What are you looking at?" She asked, clearly uncomfortable by his gaze. Her feet moved towards the door._

"_I am just admiring you and you're ability to get what you want. It is not just any woman who could manage to win the heart of The King of Camelot and 1/3 of Albion, not to mention the devotion that you seemed to endear in Lord Morded."_

_The young girl seemed to stumble at the mention of the dark man._

"_You do not look well, Majesty," he smiled, holding out his hand._

"_I'm fine," she said, stepping back. _

"_Of course you are. You're more than fine. Powerful men are your playthings and their devotion to you will always be your secret weapon. It is odd to me that no one can find Lord Morded. It is almost like he is lying in wait. Perhaps he is out there somewhere waiting for the signal that you have tired of the king."_

"_You don't understand!"She spat, her eyes full of fire. "I am Arthur's queen and I would never seek Lord Morded."_

_He bowed, mockingly. "As you say my lady."_

_Her face fell and she almost ran to the door._

"_Your Majesty. The potion."_

_He held it out to her and she quickly grabbed for it. He pulled his hand back and smiled. _

"_Never forget, Gwen. I know what you really are."_

_She grabbed the vile out his hand and slammed the door as she left. _

He relished in that exchange, in the look of distress on the young Commoner Queens face.

_Gods, he loathed that peasant whore. How was it that he, who had royal blood flowing through his veins, could be treated like this? It was only his loyalty to Odin that kept him there. His cousin had never openly acknowledge him, but he had always taken care of him, so when he asked him to do this favor for him, to infiltrate Camelot so that he could have an ally at its very heart, he did not think twice about saying yes. But things were never suppose to be this complicated. That idiot Merlin was never supposed to turn out to be Emrys; that servant girl was never supposed to be Arthur's Queen and Gorlois..._

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration.

Gorlois was a problem; he never counted on. When he stumbled upon his secret; his first instinct was to get word to Odin, to let him know that his plans for Pendragon and Camelot were in more jeopardy then he knew, but once he realized how valuable this new bit of information was, he decided to keep it to himself. He would wait things out and see how he could use this to his greatest advantage.

He felt a shiver. His stupid assistant Kylar was suppose to add more wood to his fire but he was too busy rushing back to tend to his sick wife to do what he was ask. He'd pay for that. We'll see if he thinks it was worth it when he is short a few gold coins next week. He moved towards the fire. He was going to have to do it himself. No sooner did he put one log on the fire than he heard a knock at the door.

"Go away!" He ordered, furious that one of these filthy peasants would dare interrupt the little peace that he had. "I'm closed."

He put another log on the fire and bristled when he felt a chill from the newly open door.

"I said…" He stopped as soon as he saw five knights of Camelot staring at him. "What the…"

"Aredian," said Sir Justin, stepping forward with four guards behind him. Behind him was The King's tall, lanky servant. "We are looking for Queen Guinevere; have you see her?"

"Pardon?" He asked. That little girl had left his home an hour ago. He had no idea where she went or what she had gotten herself into this time.

"The Queen was seen leaving here."

"She was?" He asked raising an eyebrow. _Was he this lucky? Had harm actually befallen her? If she was in trouble and he said nothing it was possible that they might not find her in time._

"Those are her gloves," said The King's idiot manservant walked over to the table.

_Damn him._

"Are you sure, Henry? Justin asked.

"As I was saying," Aredian began. "Queen Guinevere was here earlier. She came to inquire about some medicine for Lady Yazmine, which of course I gave her free of charge, and she left."

"Do you know where she went?" Justin asked.

"No. I did not inquire. I know how protective The King is of your Queen and I assumed that you were outside waiting for her. It never occurred to me that you would leave her unguarded when The King has placed such trust in you."

The young man did not answer; instead he turned to the guards behind him.

"At least we have a place to start."

"I am sorry that I could not be of more help."

"Let's hope she is sitting near the fire at Lady Yazmine's manor," Henry bleakly muttered.

Aredian nodded solemnly.

He hoped she froze to death.

Gorlois watched as Guinevere walked through a chilly acorn patch. He never understood animals until this moment. Balinor always complained that he lacked patience and focus. He never waited until an absolutely perfect moment to strike his victims. His blows never exacted pure, delicious pain. In Balinor's mind, he settled for quick intense pain, instead of long burning agony. Watching, the young queen was interesting. She was nice like a cream on a hot summer's day. He finally understood Arthur and Morded's obsession with the lass; her innocence was like a potent wine. Its allure was so seductive. It made a man want to grab her and show her the darker parts of life. Gorlois knew he could never touch her, and he ignored the impulse to touch her, her innocence smelled like Ambrosia. Her innocence wasn't his concern, even though it beckoned him. His one goal was to lead Arthur and Merlin to the dark side. Merlin wasn't there yet, Balinor grew restless with his lack of progress, but Arthur stood on the brink. A sense of pride swelled in his heart; one is better than none…

Gorlois uttered a few words to make storm clouds appear. A smile covered his face as Gwen looked around startled when the sun left the outer gardens. Gorlois uttered a few noises that sounded like owl screeching and she shook even harder_. "Delicious," Gorlois thought reveling in the girl's fear._

Her chest rose erratically as her eyes carefully searched the woods for intruders.

Gwen hugged herself and took a deep breath. It had been a hard day. She had never been as angry with anyone has she had been with Aredian. His smugness and his cruelty was an insult, not to her, but to the people of Camelot that he had sworn to protect. But her anger faded when she went to Lady Yazmine, a sense of pride filled Gwen when gratitude filled Lady Yazmine and Laura's faces, when she deliverer the medicine. She was going to hold onto that image; she'd need it when Arthur saw her and unleashed what she knew was going to be an angry tirade. But she didn't care. She knew that she did the right thing and that Arthur would come to see that. She walked briskly toward the castle. She didn't mind Arthur being mad at her, but she hoped her actions did not place Justin in jeopardy. She stopped when she realized where she was. She was in the acorn patch. She loved it there. It was the first place that Arthur had approached her with his intentions. She closed her eyes at the memory of him strolling towards her and seducing her with his words, she remembered the thrill of his index finger rubbing against her lip. Her memories were interrupted by noises, loud owl like noises. She felt a shiver that had nothing to do with Arthur and everything connected with fear.

"I'm in Camelot," Gwen reasoned with herself. "I'm not alone."

Gwen could hear her heart thumping. Her fingers gripped the sides of her dress.

"I'm going to calmly walk back to the castle."

"_Why are you running, Pet?"_

She froze.

"No, He's not here. I'm dreaming that I hear his voice."

_"Lovey, I'm always here."_

She put her hands over her ears.

"GO AWAY!" She screamed. "LEAVE ME ALONE."

The last thing that Lenore expected as she walked towards her home was to see Queen Guinevere standing alone in the middle of The Royal Acorn Patch. Since her return, the girl had never traveled without a guard, Arthur had seen to that. It made no sense that she was out, away from the castle alone. As she approached her, Lenore noticed her hands smashed over her ears and she was trembling like a leaf caught in a storm. Her dark eyes brimmed with tears.

"Guinevere," Lenore spoke softly. "Majesty?"

She didn't answer. Her eyes were shut tightly and she was mumbling something that Lenore could not understand. Arthur needed to be flogged. This child wasn't ready to be anyone's wife. No one knew the true horrors of the summer. A few rumors claimed that she was attacked by a rogue lord from another kingdom. Lenore dismissed those claims. Lenore clasped her cold trembling hands as she tried to force Gwen out of her trance. Gently, she rubbed Gwen's clammy hands. Gwen shook her head slowly as if she was trying to wake from a nightmare.

"Lady Oliander," Gwen whimpered. "What are we doing?"

"It is I who should be asking you that question."Lenore led Gwen to a bench. "Sit here. Tell me what is wrong."

"I'm fine. I just think I need a nap."

"Where are your guards, milady?"

"They are waiting for me at the castle. I needed some time alone."

She looked at her skeptically as she offered Gwen a hand as they slowly walked towards the castle."I can imagine. I do not envy you dealing with all those nasty old snobby hag wives, and lecherous old men that only cared about courting the king's favor."

She laughed. "Thank you, Lady Oliander. It's been challenging"

"For what, Majesty?"

"For being here."

Henry has never been so happy to see anyone in his life as he was to see Queen Guinevere walking towards him. When they did not find her at Lady Yazmine's; they were panicked, he was glad that he decided to come back to her chambers and wait for her.

"Your Majesty, Are you alright?"

"I am fine."

"The King will be so relieved."

She nodded as Lady Oliander helped her inside her warm chamber. A flicker of hope died in Gwen. Foolishly, she believed Arthur wouldn't find out. Just a tiny part believed that she could have a moment of freedom.

He bowed as Lenore helped Gwen to a chaise and sprinted to inform The King

Arthur flung open Guinevere's chamber door. His heart stopped as he listened to Lenore's husky voice conversing with Gwen's sweet melody. He licked his lips as he pasted a smile on his face. He noticed Gwen sitting on a chaise wrapped in blanket. Her tea cup moved slightly from the tremor in her hands. Lenore eyed him coldly. A smile didn't reach her eyes.

"King Arthur, good day."

He walked right past her and knelt in front of his young wife.

"Are you okay?" He asked, searching her face. He noticed dark circles haunted her eyes. He brushed his thumb across her cold cheek. "You're so cold."

"Arthur, I'm sorry. I did not mean to worry you I just wanted to help Lady Yazmine." Tears fell from Gwen's eyes. "Don't be mad. Don't yell.

He put a finger gently over her lips. He had been so angry when he heard what she did, but now, seeing her safe, all he wanted to do was hold her in his arms and never let her go.

"You look tired. I would never yell at you."

"I think I caught a chill. I do not know what I would have done if I had not run into Lady Oliander."

Arthur smiled to hide his disgust.

_Yes, he wanted Guinevere and Lenore to have tea. Swap stories, and ruin his life. Lenore could never tell Gwen about the things that they did. She couldn't possibly understand his relationship with Lenore. This friendship or whatever wasn't going to happen. _

Arthur scooped Gwen into his hard arms. Silently, he carried her into his chamber, her dark head resting on his shoulder. She waved a goodbye to Lenore and he quickly shut the door.

Arthur gently laid Gwen on the bed. Tiredly, Gwen brushed hand across her face.

"Arthur. Where is Justin?"

"He's fine."

"Please do not be mad at him. It was all me."

He squeezed her hand. "We will talk about this tomorrow, sleep."

"Promise me, Arthur."

"Guinevere-"

"If you harm him, I'll lea-"

"Don't ever say or think those words. Fine, I'll forgive this once. Since, you weren't harmed."

Gwen nodded in agreement. "I love you."

Arthur brushed his lips along her damp cheek. "I love you too. More than anything in this world." He kissed her passionately, possessively. "Don't ever do that again." He tried to sound neutral, but he knew it conveyed a hint of how serious he was.

Her doe eyes widened in surprise at his harsh tone. His mouth grazed Gwen's soft lips. "I will be back soon. "Try to sleep." His fingers brushed her eyes shut.

Arthur quietly shut his chamber door. Lenore was still there, looking at him with disdain. Really, his former lover dares question him? He roughly grabbed her arm as he shoved her out of Gwen's chamber. Silently, they walked towards the noble wing.

"Arthur…"

"Shut up! How dare you enter my wife's chambers?"

"Excuse me. You better thank the gods; I was there. Do you know I found her alone in the acorn patch just beyond the citadel, shaking? Her eyes were blank. Mumbled words flying from her mouth."

His clenched his jaw at the image of Guinevere, frightened and alone.

"And you took it upon yourself to see that she arrived safely. Since when did you care about anyone but yourself?"

"Guinevere is still very much a girl, Arthur," Lenore spat. "Your wife, your child bride is fragile. Do you understand? Guards can't help her. She needs time to heal."

"You know nothing about her."

"I know a broken girl when I see one."

Arthur had enough. He would not listen to this, Guinevere was fine. He had seen and would continue to see to that.

"I'm warning you, Lenore."

"What happened to her over the summer?"

"None of your affair. I protect my wife."

"Can you protect her against your temper and that mean streak?"

"She never sees it."

"Please, you were quite forceful before she disappeared. I remember several occasions when your words were harsh with her."

"That was before."

"She was sassy, spirited. She knew you wanted her and she loved to refuse your advances. What happened to Guinevere?"

"She's fine."

"No," Lenore yelled. "She's not."

"I take care of her."

"Because, you control her. Please tell me that you aren't trying for an heir."

Arthur flushed. "It's her duty."

"You bastard. She's not ready to be a mother."

"What would you know about being a mother with your barren womb?"

Lenore smiled darkly. "Isn't that why you spent years in my bed? No chance of a child."

Arthur grabbed her, angry at her insolence, angry that she was a threat to what mattered to him the most -his relationship with Gwen. "This is the last time that you ever talk to me like this. Do not think because I enjoyed your services in the past that you mean anything to me. You will remember your place and you will remember that if you breathe a word about us to Guinevere that you will be sorrier then you can imagine."

He let her go, but held her gaze. "Now go and don't ever return here."

Lenore walked towards the exit. "You needn't worry my, King. I won't bother Guinevere or reveal our secret. Thank you for filling my coffers."

"And they will still full for your silence," he spat.

"I had hoped that we would continue our friendship, but I see that is not to be. Although, I do not get your concern. You weren't married during our time together."

"I betrayed her."

"No, you didn't betray her because you shared my bed. You betrayed her because you refuse to acknowledge the depths of her pain. She will rebel. Kittens grow crawls, Arthur," she hissed, stomping off. Arthur needed to spend more time worrying about hurting in the present, instead of dwelling on the past.

Morgana watched the scene before her stunned. They were so caught up in their spat that they didn't notice her idly reading a book in a window seat. When she saw Arthur dragging Leonora into a corner she couldn't resist seeing what was going on.

Watching them talk gave her an idea. What would Queen Guinevere do if she were to walk in on this little scene? Yes, the child queen would crack if she knew that her beloved Arthur was just a man like any other. Secrets did not stay hidden in Camelot for forever; it was only a matter of time that this one came out. Mischievously, Morgana's beautiful face curved into a smile as she watched the angry pair.

Maybe, this one would come out sooner, rather than later.


	16. Chapter 16

Warning: This is a mature chapter.

The room was dark and damp, but Morgana didn't mind. The warmth she felt from looking at her mother's portrait spread throughout her entire body. She still remembered the day it was unveiled. It was her tenth birthday and she had been depressed, well more depressed than usual. Uther and Igraine were so excited. They had a surprise for her; one that they knew would make her smile. Igraine took her hand and walked her to the Sun Room, happily chatting about the plans for her birthday.

"Princess Elena sent you a doll that she had especially made for you."

She poked her lips out. "I asked for a sword."

Igraine laughed. "What would you want with a sword?"

"How can I be a knight, if I do not start practicing my footwork? Arthur is already better at me when it comes to spotting his blindside."

"My dear Morgana, ladies do not become knights."

"I will," said her eyes darkening. "I will be the greatest knight in history. They will sing songs about me and tell my stories even after my bones have been dust for a thousand years."

Igraine gave her a puzzled look. "My dear, sometimes you say the most disturbing things."

They walked into the door and she saw a smiling Uther standing next to a covered painting. He smiled so rarely that it always unnerved her when he did it, made her wonder what he was up to. Arthur was standing in the corner sulking, his blue eyes dark and angry. Clearly, he was not here of his own volition. She smiled, anytime she could make Arthur unhappy was a good day. She turned around and out of the corner of her eye she saw Gwen, looking like a lady in a new green dress that Igraine had bought her, her hair tied up in ribbons. Ribbons! She couldn't believe it. The girl was already insolent; she'd never know her place if Igraine kept spoiling her like this. Why did Uther allow Igraine to dress her up like a fancy doll? She was a servant!

"Morgana," said Uther. "On the occasion of your birthday, Prince Arthur, Queen Igraine, and I have arranged a special gift for you. Come."

He held out his hands and she was obliged to take them.

"Go ahead," he said, pointing at the sheet in front of her. "Pull it."

Everyone looked at her, expectantly; even Gwen had a stupid glint in her eye.

She felt like throwing up. This isn't how her birthday was supposed to be. She should be dancing in her favorite garden with her mother…

She pulled down the sheet and gasped. There, staring at her was a large portrait of her mother. She put a hand to her mouth as she inspected the image. She looked just like she remembered her. Her long sable hair flowed down her face in perfect ringlets and her green eyes smiled at her. She turned away as she bit back an irrational anger at the fact that her mother was now nothing but a painted memory.

Igraine misunderstood her pain for gratitude and put a hand on her shoulder.

"You are more than welcome, my love. I hope being able to see your mother makes things easier for you," Igraine said softly, pulling her closer and rubbing her hair. "Makes you feel as if you are where you belong."

That would never happen.

From the moment she arrived in Camelot she had felt more like a prisoner than the King's ward. She still remembered how they all looked when she stepped out of her carriage. Uther was the first to greet her, almost running towards her and taking her in his arms.

"Welcome home," he said proudly.

Home? Home? This wasn't her home. Her home was a castle by the sea with her mother combing her hair by the fire while her father made them laugh with tales of monsters and magic.

This could never be her home.

Arthur was standing behind him, looking at her suspiciously.

"Morgana, this is my son Arthur." He turned his attentions to the boy. "Arthur, this is Lady Morgana. You are to treat her like your sister and protect her and honor her in all things."

The scruffy blonde bowed his head. He didn't want a sister. He eyed Morgana cautiously; he already disliked her.

"And this," he said, summoning the tall blonde woman behind him, "is my wife, Queen Igraine. I hope in time that you will come to think of her as your mother."

Morgana put her head down to hide her disgust. She would never think of foolish Igraine as her mother. Initially, she felt guilty about this, but once she saw how attached she was to her servant's bushy headed baby she knew she was right to withhold her affections. She watched for years as Igraine showered love upon Gwen, an unnatural adoration, not even Arthur felt such love from his mother. No, she was on her own in Camelot and quite honestly that was how she liked it.

She whipped around when she heard a figure next to her.

"Easy, Morgana," said her father, putting his hand on the blade she pointed at him. "You could kill someone with that."

Morgana lowered her sword. "That's the idea."

Her father sighed. "My Morgana, such a killer instinct."

"It's kept me alive."

Gorlois glanced over his shoulder at Morgana wearing a sad smile. "She was so beautiful."

"Yes, she was."

He walked closer and touched her mother's face. "I miss her so much. My sweet Vivienne."

Morgana edged closer. "Vivienne? Mother's name was Matilda."

Her father put his head down. "Yes, yes I know that, but I use to call her that, a nickname. Vivienne after the legendary beauty of the sea, the last queen before the fall of Albion's Golden Age. She told me the story of Vivienne's great love with King Hermann, when we first met. I told her that she would always be my Vivienne, and I called her that ever since."

"I never knew."

He looked up. "We had so little time together, daughter," he said, cupping her chin. "I am afraid that I am a stranger to you."

Morgana took his hand. "No Father, you and Mother have always been more real to me and more familiar to me then Uther or Igraine or Arthur could ever be. Not a day went by when I did not think of our days of happiness, how you and Mother danced by the fire, how her laughter warmed a room. We laughed every day until that fateful day when word arrived that you had fallen. She never laughed after that."

"I am convinced that your sweet mother died of a broken heart."

"I do believe that you are right."

"I passed through our dukedom once I managed to escape my captures. I hoped to find you and your mother exactly where I left you, but instead I found my family gone and Warlords and thieves dining at my table. Barbarians now sleep and eat where your mother once held court."

Morgan threw her sword down in anger. "Uther and Arthur Pendragon have not shown us any loyalty! Where is our justice?"

"Yes," her father said, stroking her back. "Arthur could restore Albion. Yet, he ignores his people for his child bride. But who else could restore Albion's Golden Age? He is too powerful. No one would dare put Arthur in his place."

Morgana bit her lip. She could and would, if it came to that. Arthur had endangered them all by abandoning his quest to unite Albion to bed that servant. If Arthur would not bring a new Golden Age to Albion then, maybe it was time for others to step up.

Gorlois smiled. How easy it was to manipulate this silly ninny. She oozed greed and ambition. Arthur didn't have a clue of her true needy nature. She was so going to be his greatest weapon in his war against The Pendragon.

Gwen felt horribly embarrassed as she hurried to Lady DuNobely's luncheon. Leon's mother was so utterly lovely to her and she knew how much trouble she had gone to on her behalf. . She didn't mean to fall in a deep sleep, but she was so very tired the last few days. Then, she struggled to find an appropriate gown. One was so low cut that her bosom spilled out of it. Another was too tight. Finally, she found a deep green dress with a wide bodice. She smiled as Bernadette twisted her unruly hair into a beautiful upswept bun. Having Bernadette as her Lady's Maid was delightful. It was nice to have a friend attending her. She turned to Justin, who held a large basket of bread and cheeses - A special gift for Lady DuNobley to thank her for her kindness.

"How do I look?" she asked, her eyes uncertainly roaming her body.

Justin offered her his arm. "Like a Queen."

She smiled. She was so happy that Arthur had not censored Justin. He was able to remain her personal guard, and Gwen promised to behave while he was on duty. She wouldn't roam or stray out of his sight. Gwen raised her hand to knock, but Lady DuNobely's maid opened the door unexpectedly. Bessie eyes widen in shock as she dropped to a deep curtsy. Gwen reached down and pulled Bessie to her feet.

"Seriously, don't you dare bow to me! I'm still Gwen."

Bessie smiled sadly. The Queen was still Gwen. She was a nice girl, but she couldn't be friends with the servants. Bessie had to give her respect or suffer the consequence. But, it was nice to see her old friend.

Bessie grabbed the basket. "This is lovely, Majesty. Milady will be thrilled. I will take this to the kitchen. I am making my famous custard and dare not leave it unattended to long."

Gwen smiled. "I cannot wait to taste it. It has been too long."

Bessie smiled touched that she remembered a simple thing as her custard when she was now used to eating the best foods in the land. "It's good to see you, Gwen."

Gwen squeezed Bessie's hand as the young girl crept silently out of the chamber. Gwen started in the direction of the living area. She stopped when she heard feminine voices.

"I can't believe that he actually married a servant."

Justin started at the door, but Gwen stopped him. Arthur assured Gwen that the Nobles supported their marriage. They were always so nice and kind to her when Arthur was near. But not today, they didn't fear his wrath…

"You should keep your mouth shut, Vera," said Lady DuNobley. "Queen Guinevere isn't a servant. Never was."

The words rang in her ears like a hideous bell. _What did she mean?_

"What?" Vera asked.

"She is the illegitimate daughter of De Luca. I thought everyone knew that she is his mistress's child, especially given the spectacle he made over them. He even tried to raise her as a legitimate heir. Her blood is nobler than yours and mine."

Lady Vera exclaimed a sharp gasp.

"It's true, but Queen Igraine prevented him from having Melanie raising Gwen. Can you imagine the shame that poor Melanie would have endured? "

"It's unimaginable. Maxwell took a mistress once. One day she got smug with me and I had her horsed whip within an inch of her life. She never forgot her place again."

"I advised Melanie to sell her to slave traders and let them enjoy her services but she knew Darren would have killed her. He was obsessed with that whore."

"Poor Melanie. But I did always wonder why Lancelot, who bedded every young servant he winked at, never attempted to..."

Gwen felt her feet to turning to jelly. _No, No No…_

"Majesty, are you ok?"

She shook her head.

_Those filthy noble shrews were spreading lies about her family. Her life would never be okay again._

She stormed out of the DuNobley home and made her way back towards the castle.

They were wrong. Tom was her father. Tom loved her. She closed her eyes against the onslaught of memories - a tall man with dark hair and Lancelot's eyes smiling at her, giving her presents, looking at her whenever she was in town. She remembered a possessive look in his eyes. How Merlin tugged her away from him. How he never looked at her in Igraine's presence.

_Gods, it was true! _

She tried to catch her breath as the tears ran down her face. De Luca, she hated him as a child. He was the worst Noble of them all. Uther's right hand man. He made her Father so sad. She was _his_ bastard and Lancelot was her brother.

Her life was a lie.

She wanted to scream. Lancelot's father, her father, was a monster. Almost as bad as Uther, she thought she was born in love but now she knew that was a mistake that her mother couldn't get out of, didn't want…

Justin's firm hands guided Gwen around puddles and loose rocks. He could hear her heart pounding.

Justin and Gwen didn't notice Igraine talking with a jewel merchant. Her blue eyes grew alarmed at Gwen's obvious distress. She thanked Ambrose and quickly followed after her daughter-in-law.

Slowly, Justin followed Gwen as she walked in a trance to the Council Room. Her small hands threw open the door. Justin begged her to return to her chamber, but she refused. She was going to learn the truth.

Arthur rose from his throne to greet Gwen. "Guinevere, what do you think you are doing?" His blue eyes darkened as he assessed her appearance. Tendrils dangled from her bun; tears flowed down her face; and she held Justin hand tightly. Merlin stepped towards Gwen with concerned eyes.

She waved him away.

"No, Merlin, don't stop me," Gwen cried.

Merlin's heart broke. He hated to see Gwen this way.

Arthur quickly moved to her side. He flashed Justin a hateful glance. He obviously made a mistake allowing Justin to stay as her personal guard. He was too sympathetic towards her. Guinevere needed a firm protector who cared only about pleasing his Lord. He reached for her hand."Guinevere," Arthur began..." she brushed his hands away.

"No, you can't stop me. Get away from me."

Her words stung Arthur's pride. He could feel the tension in the room. His wife embarrassed him in front of the entire Council, his advisors, and respected knights. His jaw clenched in fury. She was his wife and subject. She needed to learn her place.

Merlin could sense her wild emotions controlling her actions and feared that she was about to push Arthur too far.

Morgana sat like a cat watching the events, smirking at Gwen's pain.

Gwen looked around to Gawain and Percival moving towards the windows while Lancelot – her brother - walked towards her, his eyes filled with love and apprehension.

"Lancelot…"

"Guinevere," Arthur began calmly, putting a firm hand on her shoulder."You are ill. Let Justin take you to your chambers."

Guinevere shot him a severe look. "I'm not a child Arthur. I'm tired of being sent to my room by you. Shut up!" Her brown eyes moved wildly with emotion.

Arthur could not believe his ears. He moved his hand to drag her forcibly to their chambers.

"Arthur," Igraine yelled sharply, her blue eyes censoring his movement. His eyes locked with his mother as she stood in the doorway. Fury controlled Igraine's mind. She spent a lifetime protecting Gwen from her monster father. She gave everything to Uther to protect Gwen. Someone would pay for revealing the truth.

"Lancelot," Gwen whispered.

'Milady, you appeared stressed. How can I help you?"

"Lancelot, am I your sister?"

Silence stilled the room. Quills dropped. Parchment slipped to shiny tables. Merlin gave Arthur a surprised look. Arthur sent a direct challenge to Merlin. Merlin was surprised by the malice in Arthur's eyes. He should have realized the family connection between Lancelot and Gwen. He knew Gwen's mother loved her married lover. Sometimes, he suspected that Lancelot might be her brother. But it was secret, an old secret that wasn't to be discussed.

Arthur's handsome face twisted unpleasantly.

"Gwen…" he walked towards her.

She ignored her husband and took Lancelot's hand. "Answer me, Lancelot."

Arthur attempt to wrap his arms around her tiny waist, but she pushed him away. "Gwen; let's go to our chambers you don't know what you are saying."

"No! I'm not stupid, Arthur. Answer me, Lancelot."

Lancelot knew that he should lie. She was happy with Tom as her father. Their father was such a hard, monstrous man. Had he lived he would have used Gwen's relationship with Arthur to further his own ambitions. Tom was the only piece of happiness that she had from her childhood. Arthur's blue eyes commanded Lancelot to lie over Gwen's head.

_Just lie, Lancelot. Save her happiness. _

He opened his mouth to say no, but Galahad's smiling face flashed before his eyes. The boy had reminded him just how precious family was. He was tired of being alone. He wanted his own family. He wouldn't have a wife. But, he could have sister, nieces and nephews, joy, instead of sadness.

Arthur frowned when Lancelot cupped Gwen's quivering cheek. His thumb wiped away her damp tears.

"You were such a beautiful baby with dark curling hair. You always smiled. May the gods , forgive me, I wanted my mother to raise you. You were so special. You smiled at everyone except Father and Uther. Tom saw you and he fell in love. He married your mother. I wanted that simple life for you … not this tricky world. I thought he would lose inertest"

Lancelot's words stung Arthur. He never realized that Lancelot didn't approve of his relationship with Guinevere.

Gwen's confused eyes struggled to focus on Lancelot's face as her mind processed his sad words.

"Don't hate me, Gwen. I'm your brother. Forgive me of my neglect over the years."

Morgan rolled her eyes in disgust.

_I wasted so much time on Lancelot. Look at him; they are all fools for the Servant Queen. They will be easy to defeat. A bunch of quivering crying fools brought to their knees by a woman. _

A flash of blazing hot jealousy flared in Morgana as she watched Gwen wrap Lancelot in her arms.

Lancelot shuddered; she was so warm and alive. She faded the chill in his empty body. She gave him the spark to live. Her sweet scent filled his mind.

"I have a brother," she said, crying into his chest. "I have a brother."

Arthur watched bitterly the sweet introduction between sister and brother. This was the last thing he needed another person trying to come between them. No matter, his Mother, Merlin and Lancelot could balk all they like but his young wife would learn to follow his commands. His Mother had done her a disservice all these years, she and Merlin encouraged her spoiled, childish ways. She had a duty to him and Camelot. She could not behave in such a manner in front of his Council. Her impulsive nature would be her downfall. They would have a long private talk in their chamber tonight. He would give her clear guidelines to living as HIS Queen. Never again, would she brush away his hands, or tell him to shut up, or utter the word no to him. Now, he understood why Uther controlled his mother. Women were too emotional; they did not have a clue what they needed. Every woman needed guidance. Gwen would learn her place tonight. Arthur was surprised he was able to control his rage. Every impulse told him to rip her from Lancelot's arms and remind her that she was his wife. Merlin's heart raced when he realized Arthur was furious with Gwen.

Lenore grumbled as she made her way back to her home. This was supposed to be Lady DuNobely's big triumph, a sign that she was in with the royal family. How she had bragged all week about her great friendship with the queen and all that she had done to help her on her rise. So it was with great embarrassment that she had to inform her guests that The Queen had dropped off a fruit and cheese basket and had not even come in to say hello.

"After all the trouble I went through!" She huffed in disgust.

"What do you expect?" Lady Vera asked.

"No, breeding," said Lady Jade.

She had enough. She did not know the girl well but from all accounts Guinevere was very thoughtful. She would never snub Lady DuNobley on purpose. Something must have happened. She did not know when she became so sensitive to remarks about The Queen, after all she had made some not so nice comments about her too, but that was before she found her shivering in the Acorn Patch like a lost little girl. She hoped nothing like that happened again. Maybe she should walk past there; it was on her way home. She walked briskly towards the clearing and felt a cold that seemed to creep up her entire body. She stopped when she heard a voice yelling, for a horrifying moment she thought it was the Queen but as she got closer she saw the figure in question. It was Gorlois.

"You think these little tricks are funny," he spat, seemingly to the sky. "Messing with my appearance, feeding me false memories, well it's not going to work, and if you don't stop it I'll make them pay!"

She hugged her body and fought back a growing uneasiness. She leaned back into a tree when he shot a look in her direction. From the moment she had met Lord Gorlois she found him to be a minor annoyance, but now looking at him wide eyed and angry, yelling like a madman at no one, she began to fear that there was nothing benign about him, nothing at all.

Camelot's ladies of the Court eyed Igraine, Queen mother of Camelot nervously as she walked into Lady DuNobely's parlor. Something was terribly wrong with their Queen Mother; she didn't smile at them or make idle chatter. She demanded to see her maid Bessie.

The poor girl stood shaking as she lowered gracefully to the floor.

"Bessie, did Guinevere, Queen of Camelot, come here today?" Igraine asked sharply.

"She dropped a basket of cheese and bread, "Lady DuNobley responded tartly.

She froze when she saw Igraine's face.

"Larissa, you've seen to have forgotten herself. For many years our families have been close, but you are never to use that tone with a Pendragon."

Lady DuNobley paled as her hands shook in fear.

"Now, Bessie, was my daughter –in-law here?"

"Yes, milady, she arrived with a basket, her guard Justin at her side. I went to watch my custard, and I saw her running out of the house, crying."

The ladies fidgeted in their chairs.

"Bessie, you may leave."

Bessie eyes held mistress nervously. "I'll return to the kitchens."

"No, my dear," Igraine smiled. "You will go home early as a paid holiday. Tell the rest of the staff that they are off as well. Leave through the back door."

Bessie's eyes widened. "Yes, milady."

Igraine's blue eyes raked over her ladies –in-waiting. They flinched at her cold gaze. Never had they seen Igraine in such a state. Igraine waited until she heard the door close with a thud.

"Which one of you informed Queen Guinevere that she's DeLuca's daughter?"

The question hung in the air. Igraine watched their faces flush with embarrassment.

"My son, your King, is displeased. The person responsible will face severe repercussion. Since, you are genteel ladies; I will not bring this matter to his attention. However, be warned, you are all on a thin patch of ice," Igraine replied calmly. Her eyes shot daggers at the assembly.

"She's a servant," Lady Vera retorted.

"I should have known. Pack your belongings, Lady Vera. Leave Camelot by the end of the week. Your father bought his title from Uther. I am tired of your airs."

The ladies looked around aghast at Igraine's behavior. "My son doesn't have time to deal with sniping ladies. However, I do. Don't cross me. Watch your step."

Lady Vera shook as Igraine's harsh consequence settled on her mind.

"Milady-"

She put a hand up to silence her. "I am not without mercy Vera. I'll listen to your pleas, but first I would like a cup of tea and sandwich, anyone?" Igraine contained.

All the blood drained out of Lady Vera's face as she and Lady Jade quickly rose to hurry into the kitchen.

Arthur tapped his fingers as he waited for Guinevere to return to their chamber. He told her clearly to wait for him in their chamber. He was growing tiresome dealing with her immaturity, her childish behavior. He was also sick of his mother's constant eye on their relationship. Gwen needed to grow up. She never acted like a child in his bed. Far from it, Guinevere behaved like a seasoned woman.

Arthur closed his eyes and shook his head. She just compared his wife to a whore. He exhaled slowly. He needed to focus. His life couldn't revolve around Guinevere. He had a kingdom to maintain.

Arthur's blonde brows knitted together when he heard moment in the Queen's chamber. He rose from his chair and silently crossed the room. The door knob felt cold in his hand. He turned to see Guinevere laughing with Bernadette as nameless male servants poured steaming water in a tub.

Bernadette's face froze when she spotted the King leaning in the doorway. His handsome face sat in stone. She thought he looked like a dark guard. Never, had she seen the King, so causal. His feet bare, a white tunic exposing silky hair on his chest with his blonde hair ruffled. She understood Gwen's love and attraction for King Arthur. Yet, she never wanted to walk in her shoes.

Arthur gave Bernadette a brief smile."You may leave Bernadette. Walk safely."

Bernadette squeezed Gwen's hand. Quickly, she gave Gwen a last look as she shut Gwen's chamber door.

Gwen regretted yelling at Arthur earlier. She knew her outburst was unacceptable. She was a Queen now and Queens did not behave in such a manner. She could feel his eyes on her. She walked to her wardrobe and removed a jar of bath salts. He said noting as he watched Gwen pour a good measure into her steamy bath water. Her fingers swooshed the mixture together. She wiped her damp fingers on a soft cloth. Arthur watched her with hooded eyes. She sat in front of her vanity. Gwen removed ornate pins from her hair.

Gwen closed her eyes when Arthur's placed her hands in her lap.

"Let me help you Guinevere," Arthur whispered. "Camelot's Queen should have help preparing for bed."

"I know how… It's not necessary, Arthur."

"As your King and your Husband, I commanded you," he said huskily.

Gwen watched him in her vanity mirror. His hands gently removed her hairpins. Her dark curly hair spilt over her trembling shoulders. A large hand grabbed her hairbrush. Arthur began brushing her hair with smooth rhythmic strokes. "Such beautiful hair, Guinevere. The envy of Albion. Guinevere Pendragon's hair."

"Thank you, Arthur… sire."

Arthur twisted a curl around a forefinger. "Where were you?"

Gwen swallowed. "I waited for you. You didn't arrive. So ,I went to have dinner with Merlin and your mother. Justin was with me until I returned to my chamber. He left when he was informed that you were in the King's chamber," Gwen whispered."

Arthur's fingers caressed Gwen's forehead. "So, you ate with my mother."

"Yes, I had a few bites of chicken, some peas, bread, and mashed potatoes," Gwen whispered.

"No, wine."

"No, I had milk."

He leaned in closer and whispered in her ear. "That's a child drink."

"The wine didn't settle in my stomach, milord."

"Oh,"

He offered Gwen a hand; timidly Gwen slipped her fingers into Arthur 's grip. He pulled her from her vanity table. Gwen wanted to turn away from the anger in his blue eyes. Yet, she wasn't ready for the consequences of that action.

"Time for your bath, Guinevere."

Arthur's finger's began to untie her laces at her back. He pushed the dress from her shoulders. It pooled at her feet like a meadow in summer.

"Remove your chemise. Into your bath."

"I can bathe myself."

"Do as I requested," he said firmly.

Gwen slipped her chemise from her arms. Arthur swallowed as he noticed Gwen's breasts were fuller and her stomach had a slight bulge. He loved her new fullness, a more womanly body. He watched Gwen sink into her tub and settled himself behind her, reaching into the tub and grabbing her wash cloth.

He began washing her back. He noticed she kept biting her lips. _Oh, be nervous, my little one. Be very nervous. Never, will you defy me again._

He moved his hand from her back and began to ease the cloth down to her breast. He noticed that she moved a hand to stop him and he quickly pinned her arms in the water.

"Do not move," he whispered in her ear.

"But, Art…"

"And don't talk," he growled pinching her nipple, an action that elicited a small moan. "As your KING and HUSAND, I demand that you make no movement that I do not approve of or utter a word until I permit it."

Guinevere stilled, torn between anger at his insolence, and arousal at his commands. There was something dangerously exciting about Arthur taking control of her like this, but still… Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt him sink his teeth into her shoulder.

"Your skin is luminous," he said, biting into her again. "Never before has a king had command over such perfect flesh."

She leaned backwards and closed her eyes as he moved his tongue towards her neck. "Your neck is so delicate," he whispered, moving a hand over it, so fragile, so easily broken."

She stilled at his words, holding her breath until Arthur replaced his large, strong hand with his lips. She began to relax again until she felt his hands moving down towards her center. She grabbed his hand. She did not want him to go there, not now when they were both so vulnerable and raw.

He grabbed her hand again and this time he pulled both of them over her head with one arm "I said do not move."

"Arthur, I don't want…"

"You do not want what?" He smiled, feeling his way around the folds of her womanhood. "You do not want your king, your husband to touch you here?" He moved a finger in more, moving around teasingly until he found her sweet spot. "Or here?

She bit her lip, trying hard to stifle a moan that was building inside her.

Arthur moved closer painfully aware of his own arousal. He felt as if his manhood was about to burst out of his pants. It was taking everything not to undress and join his wife in her bath, but then he would be at her mercy as he always was, tonight was about showing her that he was her Lord in every way. She began to writhe under his touch and he slipped another finger inside her.

"Maybe, you mean here?" He slowly began to move his fingers, finding the rhythm that he knew drove her crazy. Soon, he was thrusting his fingers hard and fast, plunging in until he saw that she was at the brink, a part of him was tempted to pull out now and deny her release, but even he would never be that cruel, even in the depths of anger that he currently felt for her.

"Arthur, please..."

He smiled. He loved it when she begged. He let her hands go and moved a hand over his as he finished her off, enjoying watching her grind into his fingers and move her hips to keep up. When she climaxed, she jerked in that way he found sexy and she leaned back, exhausted. He kissed her shoulder and released his member and quickly reached his pleasure.

When he was done; he wiped of his hands, and walked to the back corner of her chambers. Arthur pulled a silk nightgown from her wooden dresser and laid it on her bed. He returned to Gwen and opened a bath sheet for her. He wrapped the bath sheet around her small body as he lifted her from the tub. Vigorously, he dried his wife's body, nibbling at her stomach, chest and thighs. She stood in the center of the room, still.

She was a quick learner.

He retrieved her nightgown. Candles flickered as logs cracked in her fireplace.

"Raise your arms."

Arthur slipped her gown over her slight body. He picked her and carried her to her bed.

"It's been a trying day. You should sleep in your own chambers tonight."

Gwen smiled loving at Arthur. He wasn't mad at her. "Thank you, Arthur. He pressed a soft kiss on her cheek. He watched Gwen moved towards her bed.

"Guinevere."

'Yes," she responded with a smile.

"About today, never embarrass me in front of my court again. You're my wife, my Queen, but I am your King before your husband. Never, tell me to shut up again or brush away my hands, or yell at me. Do you understand?"

Gwen walked away from her bed to face Arthur.

"You're the one, who lied Arthur. You said we wouldn't keep secrets."

Arthur shrugged. "So, you would rather be a Noble's bastard daughter than the child of a kindly blacksmith."

"I loved my father! "Gwen screamed. "You people played games with my life. If it hadn't been for Merlin and Igraine; I don't know what would have happened to me."

Arthur gritted his teeth. That's the problem, Guinevere."

"What?"

"Merlin and my mother! They baby you. You aren't a child. You're a woman. Do I need them to inform them of our nightly encounters?"

Gwen flushed. "No, that's crude."

"I'm the King, you HUMILIATED me!" Arthur screamed. "I have given up so much for you. I placed my dreams on hold to search for YOU! You can't give me common courtesy. SHUT UP ARTHUR!"

"I'm sorry for my outburst. I was wrong."

" I thought you could handle this life I was wrong."

Gwen smiled and wiped away stray tears. "Save the tears, Guinevere. I'm not moved tonight."

"Cast me aside then. I'll go away quietly."

Arthur's eyes widened in shock. "Running away again. Did you not learn anything from the summer? Did you encountered with Lord Morded teach you nothing?"

A stab of guilt hit him when he saw the shocked look on his wife's face, but he reminded himself that it was his leniency with her that lead to the whole Morded debacle in the first place.

"You are my wife. You will remain my wife and Queen, "Arthur commanded threw gritted teeth.

Gwen stepped back.

"Don't be frightened. I would never hurt you. That's you, Guinevere. Rejection. Running away. That's all you."

"I understand, sire."

She looked so vulnerable at that moment, how he wished he did not have to be cruel sometimes to be kind.

"No ,you, don't my sweet Guinevere. You have controlled our relationship for years. Like a moth to flame, I couldn't stay away from you, but that is over now. Tomorrow, you will be given an agenda of how you will spend your days and you are to do everything on that list, nothing else and I will approve all of your encounters around Camelot. I will have someone watching at all times until I can trust that you will not cross me ever again."

"I understand."

"I do love you, Guinevere."

Gwen nodded, unsure of the truth in his words. "I love you too, sire. "

"Go to bed."

Gwen gave Arthur one last look. She climbed into her soft warm bed. She pulled the covers over her head. She heard Arthur blowing out her candles.

"Good night, Guinevere."

"Good night, Arthur."

Gwen rested a hand on her stomach. What had become of her life?

Arthur leaned against his door with his eyes shut. He resisted an urge to beg for Guinevere's forgiveness. No, he couldn't have his Queen out of control. He would appear weak. She would learn her place. Never again, would they have a conversation like the one in his council chambers.

Merlin was surprised to see Arthur and Morgana training so harshly in the morning. He hadn't seen Morgan laughing in months. Arthur's sword rapidly hit a practice dummy. Merlin felt an uneasy feeling mounting in the pit of his soul.

"Arthur," Merlin called.

Arthur lowered his sword and nodded a greeting to Merlin. "Merlin how many times do I have to tell you to address me as King or Your Majesty?"

Merlin rolled his eyes. "At least once more?"

Arthur laughed and patted his back. "If you were not a too stupid to know when you are insulting, I would kill you. Now, go organize a Council meeting. We need to rid our countryside of bandits and thieves. Then, we ride to face Odin about our questionable lands."

"Huh? I thought we were over this war stuff."

Arthur shot him a severe look. "You heard me. I have given you a command."

"Of course, sire."

_What was Arthur doing? He claimed he wanted an heir. Why is he starting wars and battles that could take him out of Camelot for weeks, maybe years?_

"Merlin, I see confusion on your face. It's time to plans to untie Albion under one King, me."

Arthur realized that he need to mold Merlin. His magic would aid his quest. Leaving Camelot would be good for Merlin and Gwen. He need to sever their bond. Merlin and Gwen's maturity and acceptance of their roles was essential to Camelot's success.

Merlin face froze in place.

Morgana smiled gleefully at Merlin. "It's wonderful; Arthur is ready to fulfill his destiny."

_Arthur leaving Gwen and Camelot? What was wonderful about that?_

Gwen brushed stray hairs from her face, her stomach felt so queasy. She struggled to focus. She laid silently on her bed as Bernadette raced to find Morgause. Tears dripped into her hair.

She remembered how she gave herself to Arthur almost a year ago on a cold dark winter night. How gently held her. His strong hands caressing her trembling thighs. His mouth kissing her shoulders. How he introduced her so tenderly to love making, or was it just sex for him? How can that man be her husband from last night? Arthur had yelled at her in the past. Yet, he was never like that before. How can he be two different people and how did she get her Arthur back? Did she want him back?

Gwen felt tiny feet on her shoulder. Soft lips pressing a kiss on her cheek.

"Chloe, when did you arrive?"

"No, my sweet one, Chloe is off pestering Leon," Tatiana whispered softly.

Tatiana flew in front of Gwen's face. She used her wings to dry her tears. "Why tears? It's a joyous time."

"No, joy in Camelot."

"Your body ripens with Arthur's heir. How can it not be joyous?"

"No, that's not possible. I had my time last month."

"Our bodies are mysterious temples, Gwen. I hear your child's heartbeat. His heart is strong."

Tatiana watched Guinevere roam around her room. Tears in her eyes; biting her lip; and shaking her head in sadness.

"You need to tell Arthur."

"I will tell the King."

Tatiana was shocked when Gwen referred to Arthur as the "King." Something was terribly wrong with her. What occurred between Gwen and her grandson?

"Let me help you dress?"

Tatiana hid Gwen's drapes as she watched Gwen sit nervously in a chair with her guard telling her silly jokes to make her smile. Occasionally, Gwen would giggle. Bernadette brought Gwen a cup of tea. She had no idea, why Morgause or Edwin didn't arrive to confirm Gwen's condition. Maybe, they were with the last of Camelot's dying nobles. She didn't like how Gwen sat like a statue in her chair. Her unruly hair contained by pins; her hands fold touching the red fabric of her dress in her lap.

She urged Gwen to relay her good news with Arthur. She promised to inform hi soon as he returned to his chamber to prepare for his day. Bernadette curtsy and Justin bowed when Arthur strolled into Gwen's chamber followed by a tall pretty woman with dark eyes and brown hair.

"Arthur," Gwen smiled at her husband.

Tatiana watched Arthur ignore Gwen's greeting. He dismissed Justin and Bernadette. He waited until they were outside.

"I have something wonderful to share with you, Arthur."

Arthur viewed Gwen with harsh eyes. "It can wait, Guinevere. Patience is a virtue."

He waved a hand in the direction of the woman behind him. "Do you remember Lady Catrina?"

Lady Catrina was a wife of an elder Council member. Her husband was a trusted advisor of Arthur's. She was always kind to her before and after she became Queen.

"Yes, I remember Lady Catrina. Good Morning, Lady Catrina."

A kind smile formed on Catrina's face. "Good morning, my Queen."

Arthur enjoyed watching Gwen's confusion. Her youth was a curse and blessing. It drove him to distraction; yet, he could see molded her into his perfect queen.

"Guinevere, Lady Catrina will be your lady-in-waiting. She will assist and guide you on all matters of Camelot." Gwen stared at him with hurt eyes. "She will approve or deny your appointments."

Gwen smiled weakly at Arthur. "Of course, milord. As you wish."

Unconsciously, Gwen's hand dropped to her stomach. Arthur wondered about her nervous gesture. "So, I leave to your day." Arthur strolled by and pressed a kiss to Gwen's forehead. He stood in the doorway. "Guinevere?"

"Yes," she responded meekly.

"What was your news?'

"I can't remember," Gwen lied. "Have a lovely day."

Arthur didn't like the faraway expression in Gwen's eyes. She was building walls in her mind to keep him out. He would relent after she learned to be an adult and proper Queen.


	17. Chapter 17

"Kilgharrah," Merlin yelled, waking him from his dream. Looking around him, it was still the same house he shared with Gwen while staying at the druid camp. He bolted from his bed, his night shirt clinging to his sweaty body, his chest still heaving from the earlier nightmare. Gwen, who had woken from his outburst, came rushing to his aid. The cool glass of water and a damp cloth on his forehead, calming him, Merlin could see fear lurking in her dark brown eyes.

"Gwen, gather you things," Merlin ordered, "We leave tonight. "

"Where can we go?"

Merlin folded his arms across his narrow body: "Cenred's kingdom, I need to find my true father. I can feel it, bad things would happen, if we remain."

Gwen nodded, rushing to complete Merlin's directions as asked. Closing his eyes, Merlin could see Kilgharrah flying towards the druid camp. He would have to leave a message for Edwin.

A/N: The summer of the Druids was just a bad nightmare. So, since you have waited for so long for an update. I'll give you a choice.

Choice a: Arthur hunts down find Gwen/merlin. Morgana and Lancelot continue the romance. Gorlois isn't evil and hooks up with Igraine

Choice B: Arthur makes a marriage alliance with Elena. He marries her. Gwen and Merlin take refuge in Ealdor. Gwen meets Gawain, who she thinks is a simple guy. Yet, he's the brother of King Cenred. I vote for Choice B. I love Gawain and I want a Gawain/Gwen story so bad. However, Arthur and Gwen are endgame.


	18. Chapter 18

"I have a dream too, but it's about singing and dancing and making people happy. It's the kind of dream that gets better the more people you share it with. And I found a whole group of friends who have the same dream, and that makes us sort of like a family." I'm just watching the Muppet Movie, what a great quote. Jim Henson was amazing!

Emrys will not be completed as a story.

Always remember that every cloud has a silver lining.

Thanks so much,

Dannic38

PS Over the summer, I will write a Gwen/Gawain story. If you want a dark angst Gwen/Arthur story, please read Shadows of the past! SOTP is about an immortal Arthur dealing with reincarnated Guinevere in a 21st century AU Europe. It combines mythology, Arthurian legend and some other elements. The story deals with the cursed AFFAIR! Yes, he has to deal with Morgana and Morgause.


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